I can’t believe I let myself have sex with him again. It’s so wrong, and yet, I can’t stop replaying it in my head. Every detail is burned in my memory and is now standing side-by-side with the one forged when I was a teenager. Instead of burning away the humiliation and hurt feelings, I’ve added more wood to the fire.
“Are you going to let me in or what?”
“Or what,” I toss back. I meant for the dismissal to be mean spirited enough that he’d get the picture and go away. Instead, it comes out on a laugh that completely destroys the gravity of the moment.
“Okay, I’m coming in.” I jerk my head up when the door whips open and he steps into the room. I know I locked that door. As if he hears my thought, Levi lifts his hand and in it I see a set of keys. “No door or window or walls or barriers can keep me away. I’ve come to rescue you, princess!” he shouts heroically.
A grin coupled with laughter bursts free. “Get out of my room, you dope!”
Crossing the floor, Levi drops onto his stomach beside me, making the bed bounce. The sheer volume of energy pouring off him is astounding. He’s practically vibrating with it. “What are you doing?”
I give my phone a shake. “Surfing the web.”
“Porn?”
“No!” Jabbing my elbow into his arm, I turn off my phone and push myself up to a sitting position. “I was looking for a pool or beach or something nearby where we can practice some of your exercises. Something public,” I say firmly. The last venture into the water ended up not going as planned. At all.
“There’s a pool at the gym.”
“It’s too...” I search for the right words.
“Stuffy? I agree. And the chlorine will ruin my highlights.”
“You don’t have highlights. Wait, do you?” I frown, studying his hair.
“Of course not,” he scoffs. “I’m naturally beautiful. But if I did, they would be ruined.” Rolling onto his back, Levi laces his fingers behind his head, causing his shirt to untuck from his waistband. My gaze immediately catches on the sliver of exposed skin and a small sweat breaks out under my arms as my heartbeat picks up.
“What about the pool downstairs? It’s new. Big. Nice if you’re into that sort of thing. Hey, are you eye fucking me?”
Jerking my eyes up to his, I find Levi staring at me. Oh my God. Where is a rock when you need one? Maybe if I pretend that I’m not completely humiliated, then he’ll let it drop. Clearing my throat I tell him, “The pool will work. And it’s close, so we won’t have to travel anywhere.”
“We don’t even have to get dressed if we don’t want to,” Levi suggests. “If it’s late enough, we’ll have the place to ourselves and can go skinny dipping.”
“Um, no. That defeats the purpose of using the pool.”
“Actually, I think that is the purpose of using the pool. We evolved from the water, dear sister. Clothes are a modern form of decoration and a means to stifle our sexuality. We’re meant to be naked.”
Leaving the bed, I cross the room to the bureau and begin searching the top drawer for a pair of fresh socks. “You’re missing the point. You need to exercise, and it’s my job to make sure that you do.”
“All fun and no play makes Levi a dull boy.”
“And all play makes David Black a very angry man. Come on, Levi. Your dad is going to have my ass if you’re not back on the field at the end of the month.”
Sitting up, Levi props his elbows on his knees and leans into them. “Would it be such a bad thing if I stopped playing?”
Brows knitting together, I ask, “What do you mean? You don’t want to play soccer anymore?”
His shoulders lift. Staring down at his hands, Levi talks to the floor. “I’ve been playing the game for almost as long as I could walk, and I love it. I do. I can’t remember a time when soccer wasn’t a part of my life, but...”
“But what?” I prompt. He said it himself. Levi’s whole life has been soccer. It’s all anyone ever talks about. It’s his career, and a lot of people are depending on him. Including me. If he doesn’t get back out there, what happens to me? Will I still have a job lined up at the end of this?
“Do you know how many bones I’ve broken?” He waits a beat and then answers. “Yeah, me either. I lost count back in high school, but let me tell you, it’s not fun.”
“Yeah, but you’re young and strong. You always bounce back. I’ve seen you.”
“I used to bounce back,” he corrects me. “I’m still young, I know that, but try telling my body that. Every day is a challenge to get out of bed. Have you seen my medicine cabinet?” I shake my head, but he’s not looking at me. “I have to take a cocktail of pills just to function most days because sometimes the pain is just too damn much.”
With my socks in hand, I walk back and sit down beside him. “I had no idea.”
“No one does. My dad makes sure of it,” Levi replies with a bitter edge.
“If you’re so miserable, why don’t you talk to him about it? I’m sure he’d help you find something else to do. With all your experience, you could go back to school and become a trainer or a coach. Something to keep you close to the game without having to be in it.”
“I’ve already talked to him and he doesn’t give a shit. I’m David Black’s cash cow. Do you have any idea how much money we make off endorsements alone? It doesn’t matter if I want out or not. The only way he’s going to let me walk is if it’s in a wheelchair.”
I can’t process what he’s just told me. I don’t know my stepfather well, but I know enough to say that he loves his son. “He’s your dad, Levi. I’m sure if you explained it to him like you just did to me, he’d help you. I doubt he’d be happy knowing you’re not.”
“Then you don’t know my father. You know how he is with your mother. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Imagine living under his thumb your whole life.”
I can’t imagine something I’ve never experienced. David may not be a good husband, but he’s always been kind to me. “Levi—”
“You know what I want to do today?” Popping off the bed, Levi rounds on me, excitement flashing in his eyes.
I frown at the sudden change in his demeanor, but it’s clear that he’s done talking. “What?”
“Something fun. Something that will get our blood pumping.”
“Sounds dangerous,” I muse. Anything that gets Levi Black this amped up is definitely a cause for concern.
“Would you rather sit around here all day and be bored?”
Parting my socks, I gather one up and slide it over my toes. “How about you tell me where you’re going and I’ll have the ambulance meet you there.”
“Don’t be such a drama queen,” Levi chastises. Reaching out, he takes my hands and lifts me to my feet. “If you’re going to live with me, then you have to learn to live.”
“I already lived enough for one day when I agreed to go for a ride on your motorcycle.”
His eyes twinkle with mirth. “Tell me you didn’t enjoy riding on my hog,” he purrs as he loops his arm around my back and pulls me up against his chest.
I ignore the blatant innuendo, but I can’t deny the truth because I definitely enjoyed myself. Being that close to Levi, having the excuse to wrap myself around him and feel every inch of his hard body against mine was the stuff of dreams. The power of that machine combined with his command and confidence behind the wheel still gets me hot under the collar just thinking about it.
If whatever he has up his sleeve is even half as arousing as that, then maybe I should stop struggling and do what he said—live. Relenting, I ask, “What did you have in mind?”
“Oh, princess. If I told you that, it’d ruin the surprise.” Releasing me, he slaps my behind and pushes me toward the bed. “Get ready and meet me downstairs in ten.” He heads for the door, but pauses before passing through it. “Oh, and don’t worry. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to use those magic fingers today. Just make sure you wear something comfortable. This is going to be the best day ever!”