None of it matters anyway. There’s no way to turn back the clock and change history. It is what it is, and all I can do now is move forward and make the best of what life has given me.
I’m in the middle of stretching, dropping my spine and lifting my chin toward the ceiling when I hear the sound of shoes squeaking on the hard tiled floor heading my way. Janey must have finished up and is coming to check on me one more time before she goes. I love her to death, but the girl is a mother hen and sometimes it drives me bonkers.
“Before you ask,” I tell her, cutting her off at the pass, “yes, I’m staying and no, I don’t want you to wait for me. Go home, tell Rio I said hello, and I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Who’s Rio?”
Holy shit! Dropping my head, I scramble to my feet and turn to face the door. That voice...I’d know it anywhere.
Wearing a pair of snug black slacks that hug his thighs, a white button down dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to reveal his colorful tattoos, and a black silk vest left hanging open, Levi is dressed to kill.
My mouth waters at the sight of him and my heart kicks into overdrive, behaving as if no time at all has passed. Instantly, my body screams for contact, but my head is shouting at me that this isn’t real. It can’t be. Why the hell would Levi Black be here, in Ohio, standing in my place of business, looking like that?
“What are you doing here?” Last I checked, my mom said he’d had some kind of blow out with his father and disappeared. No one’s heard from him in days.
Casting his gaze around the room, Levi steps inside and slowly makes his way around, checking out the equipment. Stopping in front of a Pilates machine, he runs his fingers down one of the resistance cords. “I was in the neighborhood,” he replies, his voice smooth.
“In the neighborhood,” I muse. “And how does one just happen to randomly end up in Ohio? I thought you were off touring the country and winning more trophies.”
Turning on his heel, he leans up against the metal framing, shoving his hands into his pockets, and arches a dark brow. “I have, yes. Three trophies, in fact. If we win the next game, we’ll be in line for the Cup.”
I stare at him, unsure of the appropriate response. Do I congratulate him, the man who was just a few months ago telling me he wasn’t into it anymore, or kindly ask him to cut the bullshit and get to the point?
“That’s great, Levi. I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks,” he says softly, and drops his chin to his chest. I frown, sensing the downward shift in his mood. He draws in a long breath and, pushing away from the machine, his eyes lock with mine as he slowly approaches. “It’s been a long time, Vista. Too long,” he murmurs as he stops directly in front of me.
All my defenses lower under the weight of his intense stare. When he lifts his hand to push back a strand of hair that has escaped my ponytail, a shiver of awareness tracks through me.
“Yeah,” I agree, my voice weak.
His bearded smile appears and I catch a hint of those dimples underneath, causing my heart to skip. “I’ve missed you. The house was too quiet without you there. It’s as if you took all the life with it when you left.”
Swallowing, I find myself leaning into his touch, absorbing the exquisite feel of his skin on mine like a woman starved for affection.
“I missed you, too,” I admit, and I swear it feels as if someone has stolen all the oxygen from the room. “I shouldn’t have left like I did.” I lay awake at night sometimes thinking of all the things I should have done different, and sticking around long enough to talk it out tops the list.
A smile creases Levi’s cheek as he lifts a finger and taps it against the end of my nose. “I always said you were smarter than you looked.”
“Has anyone ever told you you’re a real son of a bitch?”
He chuckles and I glare up at him, annoyed that my comment appears to amuse him.
“A few times, but you’re the only person I’ve met whose mouth can make it sound dirty.”
I wonder if he’ll think it sounds dirty if I punch him in the gut. Immediately, I chastise myself for the thought. Levi inspires my violent side, and since I’ll be bringing another human being into the world soon, I have to get a grip on that. Even though I won’t be the one raising my child, I still want to be seen as a good mother while I can.
“So, I see you have your own practice now. How is that working out for you?”
“The grand opening is tomorrow morning, so we’ll see.” I draw back, needing some distance. If I weren’t pregnant, I could go for a stiff drink right about now. “So far, though, everything is going smoothly. As soon as I finish stocking the massage room, we’ll be ready to go.”
“Massage room?” Levi’s blue eyes twinkle with mischief. “You know, I have this kink in the back of my neck—”
“Hold that thought,” I chuckle, raising my hand in a stop motion. There’s no way in hell I’m going to rub any part of his body, regardless of how hot he looks. My gaze trails over him once more. Damn, he looks good. Like really, really fucking good.
I have to stop looking at him. It’s been far too long since I’ve been touched by anything other than my own hand and he’s dangerous for my libido, which has been on overdrive lately.
Just thinking about the reason for my raging hormones, my hands go to my stomach. It’s an automatic reaction, and I don’t even realize I’ve done it, until Levi’s eyes follow the movement.
In an effort to hide the pregnancy as long as possible, I’ve taken to wearing looser clothing. Generally speaking, I’m not big enough to show yet. Unless a person knows to look for it, the bump that just popped up last week is hardly visible. But I just drew attention to it.
“Levi,” I rush to say. “I can explain.”
His expression is unreadable, but if I had to guess what’s running through his head right now, it would probably be something along the lines of what the fuck!
“That you’re obviously pregnant?” Levi asks, his voice strangely calm. “There’s not much to explain. So, who’s the lucky guy?”
When his eyes meet mine, I see pain reflecting in them. Ah, so he thinks I’ve moved on, does he? A part of me considers letting him continue believing it. It would be so easy to lie. He’d be hurt, yes, but it’s not as if he doesn’t deserve a taste of his own medicine. A simple lie and I’d be rid of him for good. I’d be free to live my life, run my business, and decide what’s best for my child without interference.
I consider the future and what it would mean if I decided to go through with the lie. I’d spend the next eighteen years looking over my shoulder, wouldn’t I? For as long as Levi is in the media spotlight, I run the risk of being found out. All it would take is one misstep, one slip of the truth, and the secret of our relationship would be subject to scrutiny. Everything up to that point, all the hiding and the secrecy, would have been in vain. Not to mention, it’d be incredibly selfish and unfair to our child.
Which is why I know I can’t spin a tale. And maybe I don’t want to. This life I’ve chosen is shaping up to be a great one, but I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that there’s just something missing. Maybe that something is Levi. Even if we can’t be together, even if he’s moved on and no longer wants me, he still deserves to know the truth. He deserves to know he made a child, whether or not he’ll be there to raise it.
Looking at him now, I am once again floored by how handsome he is. Levi is far from average. He’s hot. I can’t believe I, someone so average, scored someone of his caliber, but I did and I will forever have a reminder of our time together.
Meeting his eyes, I inhale a steeling breath. It’s now or never. “You are,” I confess. “This is your baby, Levi.”