Getting to her feet, Vista keeps her distance, and wouldn’t you know it, that angers me even more. She shouldn’t be afraid of me, dammit!
“I understand that you’re upset right now, and you have every right to be, but you’re scaring me right now, so I’m going to ask you nicely to please leave. You can come back when you find some self-control.”
“Oh, I’m controlled, princess. I promise you that,” I say snidely. My whole life is about control lately. “In fact,” I tell her, “you’d be proud of me. I haven’t had a single drink or fucked a single woman since I left Chicago. Do you know why that is?”
She shakes her head, her expression weary.
“It’s because I’ve been working my way back to you. And now that I’m here, you’re sending me away. What the fuck!” I laugh, even though nothing about any of this is remotely funny. “And then I get here and I find out you’re pregnant with my kid and have been hiding it from me?” I throw my hands up.
“You’re not making any sense, Levi. Just leave. Go home, or back to your hotel or whatever, and get some sleep. We can talk more about this tomorrow when you’re feeling more like yourself again.”
Her words cause something inside me to snap. I think it’s just a culmination of everything that has been weighing me down my whole life all coming to a head in this very moment, but it doesn’t make the outcome any different. Or prettier. With more bite to my words that I intend, I tell her, “Fine, you want me gone? You don’t want me in your life? Then you don’t have worry about it anymore. I’m out of here.”
Turning on my heel, I head for the door. I know when I’m not wanted. I’ve spent my life learning how to spot the signs, and I’m done sticking around where I’m not welcome. I’ll make sure Vista and the baby are taken care of, of course, but now I’m free to finally do whatever the hell I want.
Strange, but as I storm from the room I don’t feel free, or even particularly relieved.
“Levi, stop!” Vista chases after me, rushing out into the dark and empty waiting area. “You’re being really immature right now. You know I didn’t mean that I wanted you to go away.”
“Then what did you mean?” I roar, spinning around to face her.
She skids to a stop, her wide brown eyes looking up at me in shock or fear, I don’t know which. “I-I just meant that I didn’t want to be around you when you’re so...upset. I want to talk, but not like this.”
My heart is pounding so hard I can feel my body moving to the beat of my pulse. But as I continue staring down at her, I feel myself begin to calm down. I’m letting my emotions get the better of me when I should be the voice of reason here. Right? I think so, anyway. It’s hard to know what to do when you suddenly find yourself standing on your own without a security blanket to fall back on. That’s what my father was for me, a source of security. I knew that if I fucked up, he’d be there with the answers on how to clean up the mess. Now, whatever choices I make are mine and mine alone.
It’s the biggest learning curve I’ve ever had to face and it’s scary as fuck. I can’t tell when I’m doing this adult thing right or if I’ve got it all wrong.
“Shit.” Combing my fingers through my hair, I grimace. “Shit. I’m sorry, Vista. I’m being a total dick, aren’t I?”
A hint of a smile appears on her porcelain face causing my heart to stutter. “Yeah, you kind of are.”
I don’t want to be that. Not to her. Not ever. I need a time-out to collect my shit before I completely fuck this up. Or at least, not any more than I already have. “Can I have a do over?”
She pretends to think about it. I love that she doesn’t just give in to me. She makes me sweat a little first. “Yeah, you can have a do over.”
I want to fall to my knees before her, I’m so relieved. Not that I ever doubted how charming I am. “Tomorrow then. After closing. I’ll pick you up, take you to dinner, and we’ll talk.”
Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, she considers it for what feels like an eternity before saying, “It’s a date.”
Yeah, it is, isn’t it?
20
Murphy’s Law. It holds some weight, especially today, because anything that could go wrong has. The grand opening went great. There wasn’t any fanfare, no media coverage, or anything flashy, but we were short-staffed when the doors opened since Robby somehow broke his big toe and needed to stay off his feet, and Stasha had food poisoning. Good thing we only had some light traffic. It’s such a specialty practice, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I certainly hoped for more than I got.
Unfortunately, both of my appointments cancelled—one, a pro-baseball player and the other, a prominent member of the community. I was relying on those clients to help get the word out, not to mention pay some of the bills. Now, I’ll have to hunt even harder to find someone to replace them. After a long day of nothing happening, I sent Janey home with a stack of flyers. She’s sworn that she’ll paper the city with them, and I’m sad to admit that I’m banking on it.
To top off a crappy day, I’m not feeling my best. I probably should have said something to Levi when he showed up to take me out for our date, but he just looked so hopeful that I didn’t have the heart to deny him.
Now, I’m sitting here in a seriously fancy, over-the-top restaurant picking at a plate of spaghetti that I’m never going to eat. Everything about it, from the look of the noodles to the smell of the sauce, is nauseating.
“Do you want to order something else?” Levi asks. I guess he’s noticed that I’ve only been pushing my food around for the last half hour.
I smile politely, wondering to myself if I can choke down one bite to appease him, but I just can’t. I hate wasting his money like this, but I just can’t bring myself to eat a single bite. Pushing my plate away, I sigh. “I guess I’m just not that hungry.” As if to call me a liar, my stomach chooses that moment to growl. It’s loud enough to be heard over the violins and is completely embarrassing.
Setting his fork down on his plate of shrimp linguine, Levi frowns. “You’ve been quiet all evening. Is it the food or the company?”
“Neither,” I tell him. Although, this place isn’t really my style. Frankly, I never pegged Levi for the ritzy type, either. I hope he’s not trying to impress me. Sighing, I tell him, “It’s just been a long day and I’m tired and I haven’t gotten completely over the morning sickness yet.” My feet are swollen, I have a headache and gas, and I can’t concentrate at all. Hello, Mommy Brain! Of course, I don’t tell him any of this. I don’t want to sound like a complainer, and I doubt he brought me here to listen to my personal problems anyway.
“Why didn’t you say so? We could have stayed in.”
“I could tell that you were looking forward to this. I didn’t want to disappoint you or put you out after traveling all this way to see me.”
His frown turns into a scowl and Levi sits back, regarding me with suspicion. “Since when did you become so agreeable?”
I have no idea. I really don’t. Maybe it’s the hormones, I wonder, except that should make me less agreeable, shouldn’t it? “You wanted to talk. That’s what I came here for, so talk.”
A small smirk begins to form and, dammit, I can’t stop staring at his mouth. Levi’s lips are perfectly formed, with little sharp points on his top lip and a full, cushiony bottom lip that feels smooth and supple between mine when I suck on it. When I used to suck on it, I correct myself. Kissing Levi was all kinds of fun. And that beard. I want to reach across the table and run my fingers through it, just to feel the coarse but soft hairs on my skin again. He’s trimmed it since the last time I saw him. It’s a little shorter than I remember, more sophisticated, but it still looks good. Damn good. Put him in leather and on the back of a motorcycle and you have one hell of a sexy ass biker.