Carter seems as surprised as I am. At least, I think. The smile is gone as we stare at each other. The unease in my stomach is more like a storm, and I know now that it’s the magic pulling from him—and my anger. I open my mouth to speak, and close it again.
This is a joke.
Carter shifts as Ellore looks between us, and then he forces the smile back on his face. But it’s not like before, not bright and gorgeous, it’s less. More unsure and totally fake.
How can he be this surprised? I told him I was being Paired for the test. He knew. He never mentioned this to me. He never mentioned a lot to me, like his name. William Prescott. If he’s William Prescott, then he was already being tested, too. He didn’t come here for me during the magic tests—he was already here. He lied to me about everything.
And he knows all my secrets.
The crowd recites our blessing and then Ellore’s hand is on my back and we all exit together.
“That was inappropriate,” Ellore says as soon as we’re off the stage.
“I’m sorry.” Carter’s eyes are on me and I don’t know whom he’s talking to. I’m not taking an apology. Not after that. “It was an accident. I lost track of time.”
I want to punch him the face.
And then I’ll apologize and say it was an accident. That I lost track of my fist.
“Let’s get to our training room,” Ellore says, clasping her hands together.
Carter scrubs his hand over his face while we walk. I move until I’m as close to him as I can stand to be, which is about four feet away, and I try not to look at him. Partly because he looks good today in that suit. Like, really good. And mostly because I want to see how many hits it would take to break his nose.
He steals a glance at me, and I walk faster behind Ellore. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to him.
Our training room is pretty simple. Some mats, chairs, windows, water cooler. Ellore is talking, but I’m not hearing anything. It’s like the teacher in Charlie Brown, noise that doesn’t matter, and I can’t seem to focus on anything except Carter. I can’t believe he lied. I feel dirty and low, like I wasn’t worth his honesty. I feel betrayed.
“…gather some things.” Is all I hear before Ellore walks away. Her heels echo through the room and the door clicks shut. It’s just me and Carter and awkward silence. Him staring, me not sure what to think about any of this. The silence makes it worse because I want to fill it, but all my thoughts are angry.
He reaches out for me. For a second, I’m tempted to let his hand linger on my arm. To let him explain and pull me in, but before his hand actually reaches me I’m lurching away. “Don’t. Don’t touch me.”
“Pen—”
“Don’t call me that!” I yell.
He’s quiet for a second, eyes focused. “It’s me.”
I’m looking at him, but I don’t see Carter there. I see William Prescott. I see the boy who would lie to me about all of this, and that’s not a boy I want to know. I shake my head. It’s my own fault. I’ve only known him a week and I let him get too close. I got too close. And now this is crap. All of this.
“I can explain. There’s a reason I couldn’t tell you everything,” he says.
I can’t handle this. Not with him. Not after everything. It’s so complicated already with our magic and why did he lie? I never lied to him. Not once. In all my life, I’ve never been that honest with someone.
I won’t do that again.
“Pen, please,” he says, stepping closer to me. I can’t look away from him, and it’s the last place I want to look but he’s like the sun. He’s moving closer and my senses betray me. He smells like nutmeg mixed with cloves and it’s such an intoxicating scent.
He reaches out for my hand. It fits together with his. They feel right—more right than I want them to. “Pen, I never meant to hurt you.”
But you did. You are.
I yank my hand away. He can’t touch me. I don’t know who he is—Carter Trent or William Prescott—and I don’t want this. I can’t handle it. I run my hand through my hair and my brain is swirling. I should’ve seen it. He had his own secrets, his own reasons, but he never told me what they were. What’s the right thing to do? It’s Carter. It’s— “What’s your name?” I snap.
He locks his jaw and gives me an indignant look. “Carter.”
I shake my head. “Your real name?”
“It is Carter—William Carter Prescott. No one calls me William except the officials.”
“And Trent?”
“My mom’s maiden name,” he says.
I don’t know him at all. He looks like Carter, but all this new information is a little much. “I can’t be here with you,” I say.
I move to the door and try to pull it open. It doesn’t budge. The doors are locked. Right, of course they are. I’m stuck here and the room is closing in on me. I run to the other side of the room where there are more doors. Nothing. I look around. Five windows. I jump to one, but it doesn’t move either. Locked.
Carter’s hand touches the small of my back and I recoil. I’m pretty sure it hurt his feelings, but I don’t care. I need out.
“You’re freaking out,” Carter says. I press my forehead against the glass of the window. That’s an understatement. “At least you already know me so we can pass that awkward stage,” he says.
I snap away from the window and look at him. “Do I? How do I know you aren’t lying about something else?” Everything inside me is shaking. Even the magic is bubbling up inside me. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t do anything but be mad at him.
“This is why you didn’t want me to say anything about the demon hunting! The scandal of the head of Triad’s son hunting demons for fun. It would’ve ruined your father, your family,” I whisper.
“I told you the truth about that. It’s not what you think it is,” he says. His voice is rough and rushed.
I lean in closer to him. “You’re not what I thought you were. I told you about my parents—about myself. You didn’t even tell me your name.”
“I couldn’t, Pen,” he says. His hand reaches out to touch my face and everything boils more. I hate when people touch me when I’m upset. Even if this touch is different. I don’t want it to be different. I want to hate him, and right now I do.
“Let me explain it to you, Penelope. Please.”
For a second I think about it.
For a second I’m almost willing to let him plead his case to me. To explain. The way he’s looking at me, with his eyes all glassy and wide and innocent. With the sound of him begging me, and that one little please. I want to—God, do I want to—but who is he? I thought I liked him. I let him kiss me.
“You lied,” I say.
The magic builds within me with all the emotion. At any moment, I’m going to lose it, and it won’t be pretty. He reaches out for me again, but I move away. Carter opens his mouth to speak when Ellore comes back inside, a cart moving behind her. I step away from him, his eyes never leaving me, and walk past him until I’m standing next to Ellore.
She looks between us, something telling in her dark eyes, “Everything all right?”
I smile and I know it’s the most plastic smile ever. I’m okay with it.
“Peachy,” I say, crossing my arms. Ellore looks to Carter with an eyebrow raised, but he only smiles, too.
“Okay then,” she says, drawing out the O. “The thing you need to know about the test is that it’s on you. Not me. We can prepare all we want to in here, but in that test it’s you and the demons. If you want to pass you have to work together.”