Nora caught a glimpse of light seeping in from behind the sanctuary. She followed it and stepped into a small office.
“Hey,” Jason said with a smile. He stood by a desk, stacking books. “How was your night?”
“Good. We canned beets and talked.”
“I like that throw back to the eighties jeans jacket.”
“Pretty nifty, right?” Nora asked, hands in pockets she opened the jacket some. “It’s cold out there.”
“It’s cold in here. I haven’t figured out how to heat things yet. No fireplace. If this town becomes home, I’ll have to figure something out.”
“I’m sure you will.”
“Until then….” He lifted the lantern and grabbed her hand. “I was right. This way.” He led her out of the office and into a hall. He pointed to the first door on the right. “Our sitting room.”
Inside there were two small couches and bookcases.
“We may have to raid the library for secular books.” He led her further. “Kitchen.”
Nora stepped inside.
“There’s a large hall right beyond this. This was the kitchen to that, I guess. I’ve been cleaning all night.”
“You’re doing well.”
“And…” Another yank of her hand and he brought her back to the hall. A few feet down they turned the bend. “I was right. There were guest rooms for guest preachers.” He opened the first door. “How about this… huh? Beds.”
Jason stepped inside setting the lantern on the dresser to light the room.
It wasn’t too small. Two twin beds, a chest of drawers, desk, television, which they knew wouldn’t be useful and a small private bathroom.
“Does it work?” Nora pointed.
“No. But Ralph’s outhouse is right behind the building he said we can use it. I brought in some water from the pump for you to wash.”
“Thank you.” Nora folded her arms and sighed.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Jason cringed. “I wasn’t thinking. Do you want your own room? I was just…”
“No. No-no.” Nora waved out her hand. “This is fine. I’d rather sleep with you.”
Pause.
Silence.
Jason looked at her.
Nora smiled. “That came out wrong.”
“I’m waiting on a joke now.”
“Nah, no jokes.”
Jason cocked back. “Really? It’s been all day. I’m ready.”
Nora leaned back against the desk, and again, folded her arms tightly to her body. “Would you say you were a good husband?’
“Is this a joke?” Jason stepped to her.
“No.” Nora chuckled. “I’m asking.”
“Um…wow. At times, yes. I made mistakes.”
“You cheated?
“No.” Jason answered quickly.
“Because she did.”
Jason only groaned.
“I ask because you’re a good guy. I mean, you get me water to wash, make sure our surroundings are clean.”
“That’s for me too. And you act like I take the reins. You’re the brave one, Nora. You lead the way. Where is this coming from?”
“I was just thinking that my husband was a better husband than I was a wife,” Nora said. “Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, it does. Again, where is this coming from?”
“When we were canning, Marilee eluded to the fact that maybe it is wrong to search out and find my family.”
“Wrong? Was I wrong when I looked for mine?”
“Would you have looked if you knew it was thirty years?”
“Probably.”
“And we did look for answers about my family,” Nora said. “We found answers to where they are. Is it fair to go find them after all this time?”
“Fair to who?”
Nora didn’t reply.
Jason locked eyes with her, it was obvious he was thinking. At least Nora hoped he was, hoped he was searching for the right words. After all, wasn’t it part of his job to say the right thing to make people feel better?
After running his hand over his face, he moved even closer to her. “Look, some organization believed that you, me, the others were worthy to be man’s insurance. They took us against our will and knocked us out for thirty years. That sucks. They took us out of their lives. But it was only a blink of an eye to you. On the other side of the coin, the pain your family went through had to be unimaginable. They lost you, mourned you, and sadly probably moved on with their lives. Now does that mean you need to let them go?”
“That’s what I’m struggling with.”
“I’d be lying to you if I told you I didn’t think about it for myself. If my family was alive, would I walk into their lives? I mean I mourned them, not as long, nor as deeply as they mourned me, but because of you, I have accepted the realization it’s done.”
“So what did you come up with? If they were alive and you knew where they were, would you walk into their lives?”
“I probably wouldn’t. I mean, that’s me. I’m a chicken. I’d be scared they wouldn’t want me, or moved on so much. Or frightened of anger, more hurt. Who would it be for? Me? Them? Thirty years is a long time. If I walked into their lives who benefits? But it’s a whole lot easier for me to say, because my family is gone. Yours is not. You do what you need to do. I am behind you and will walk the path with you.”
“It shouldn’t be this difficult of a decision,” Nora said. “But I keep thinking that same thing. Who is it for? I have been gone from their lives for a lifetime. I’m gonna think about it a little more.”
“If you need to talk.” Jason said. “Just know, it’s okay to find them for you. Even if it’s to say goodbye, it’s alright if you benefit more, because remember, you lost too.”
Nora stared at Jason standing so close to her, staring with compassion. There was something about him at that moment, a closeness with him, and a kinship that suddenly became more apparent. She didn’t know what it was that caused it. Instinct. Foolishness. Need. Impulse or emotion, but she kissed him. She leaned into him and softly kissed him.
At first he didn’t move his lips, then Jason responded. His response was brief and then he sprang back as if she poisoned him.
His reaction was so hard to read. Was he offended?
“I’m sorry,” Nora said. “I am so sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
“And that… is why I pulled back.”
“I don’t understand?”
“If I kissed you, then I would know the reason I kissed you. It would be because I wanted to and I needed to.”
“You don’t want to kiss me? Is it because I am still married?”
“Nora, that life is over. As hard as it is to say, it’s over. And heck yeah, I want to kiss you. I just want you to know the reason you’re grabbing onto me.”
“It’s hard to verbalize. I mean we’re close,” Nora said.
“We are.”
“You know me. We share the same circumstances. You’re attractive even if you haven’t had your skin professionally peeled in thirty years. And just to set the record straight, I didn’t grab onto you.”
“Oh, I beg to differ. You copped a feel.”
Nora laughed. “That was funny.” She extended her two fingers, grabbing onto his belt hook and pulling him to her. “I like you. We have a closeness, Jason. One I haven’t felt in…”
“Thirty years?”
Nora smiled. “Something like that.”
“Yeah, something like that.” Jason placed his hand on her face and leaned into her.
It was a different type of moment for the two of them. The moment Jason kissed her, Nora pulled him to her and held tightly to him. It wasn’t the physical need to have that closeness it was the emotional yearning.
It seeped from them both in the embrace and kiss. It was a moment that had been building. Nora wasn’t certain if they were wrong in what they were doing, but she knew it felt good, and it felt right. Since she woke from Stasis, she had felt hollow and wounded, and for the first time she was experiencing a sense of healing. At that point, she had no plans or desire to stop, no matter where it led.