“Why do you care?” I snap. She hurt me. She was the one person I opened up to and she threw it back in my face.
In some ways it hurt more than what David did to me. I failed David by not fighting harder for him, for letting Cameron get his hooks into him. But, River told me that she would keep me safe. Everything she’s ever said to me has been contradicted by her actions.
She kneels down next to me and looks at the bonsai on my lap. “I do care,” she whispers. “What I did to you was wrong, but it’s because I was scared.”
I glance at her. “You’re scared of me?”
She shakes her head and picks up the piece of wire I just threw on the ground. She twirls it between her fingers and then whispers, “I’m scared that I’ll become my father. I’m scared I’ll lose myself, this person I’ve fought so hard to be and that I’ll hurt people the way he did.”
I put the bonsai tree in the shade and then take River’s hand. I take the wire from her fingers and throw it back on the ground. “Cameron was the only father I’ve ever known. I was nine when he placed me with the other slaves. I could easily have given in and let them break me, but I didn’t. I knew I was nothing like Cameron and the other slaves. I held onto the hope that I’d be free one day. Your father might be a monster but that’s not who you are. We have our own souls and we choose who we want to be.”
She looks at me with wide eyes, “Do you really believe that?”
I get up and then hold my hand out to her. She places her hand in mine and my fingers wrap around hers, and then I pull her up. “Yes, I do. We can’t let the past define us otherwise I’ll be nothing but a fuck and you’ll be nothing more than the daughter of a monster. We aren’t those things. I’m just a man who loves to see things grow and you’re just a woman who loves to help people.”
The corner of her mouth lifts in half a smile and she shoves her hands in the back pockets of her shorts.
I decide to say what’s been eating away at me and to just get it off my chest. “River, for some reason you think I’m a child, and I know this because you treat me like one. Just because I can’t write or read it doesn’t mean I’m stupid. Just because I like to keep to myself and don’t interact with the others, it doesn’t mean I’m damaged – and just because I’ve fallen in love with you, it doesn’t mean you can hurt me. If I’ve learned anything it’s that you don’t hurt those you love, so don’t tell me you love me and then turn around and hurt me. That’s wrong.”
She looks down at her feet and whispers, “I’m really sorry, Jack. It all just happened so fast. I was confused and scared.”
I take a step closer to her and lower my head until my lips brush against her ear. “I’m confused and scared too. I know it’s all happening too fast, but I can’t pretend anymore. All my life I’ve been pretending and I refuse to live a lie now that I’m finally free.”
“I don’t want you to pretend.” She looks up and our faces are so close that I can feel her warm breath on my chin.
“What do you want, River?” I close my eyes, hoping she says that she wants me.
I feel her lips brush softly against mine, and then she whispers, “I want you, but I want to take it slow. This is all very new to me.”
I open my eyes and smile at her. “Does that mean I can sleep with you again?”
She lets out a soft chuckle. “Yes, I’d like that very much.”
River wants me! It hits me suddenly and I sweep her up in my arms and spin her around in the air. Laughter bubbles over my lips and soon she’s laughing with me. Her hands frame my face and then she places a kiss to my lips. I quickly put her down and let one hand go behind her head, so she won’t pull away again. I open my mouth against hers and let my tongue taste her. I’ve wanted to do that since I saw Christopher and Maddie do it.
River opens her mouth and I let my tongue slip in, tentatively tasting her and exploring her mouth. My stomach dips with pleasure and I feel my cock growing hard for her. I press closer to her, but she breaks the kiss.
For a moment I fear that she’ll walk away again, but instead she presses her forehead to mine. “Slowly, Jack. Let’s just get to know each other first. Let’s enjoy every moment.”
I nod, just happy she let me kiss her and that she’s still standing here.
She takes my hand and pulls me to the bonsai trees I have lined up against the wall. “Come … show me what you do.”
A smile almost splits my face in half. It’s a nice feeling that she wants to know about my bonsai. It’s a nice feeling knowing she wants to just be with me. She doesn’t want to use me like every other person in my life has done.
~*~
Chapter Sixteen
River~
We’ve had a busy week on the plantation. It’s as if all the fruit and vegetables got ripe at the same time. Miss Ella had to pickle a lot of the vegetables and fruits, and made quite a few apple pies.
I’ve been helping Miss Ella and Sophia in the kitchen. Jack says he’s been working on a surprise for me.
I saw Colby bring something down to the river for Jack, but I’ve promised not to peek until it’s ready.
I’ve just finished placing the last jar filled with pickled onions in the pantry, when the door slams open. A filthy Jack comes in, and his eyes sweep excitedly through the room. When he sees me he stalks over, grabs my hand and drags me out of the room.
“Jack, what’s going on?” I have to jog to keep up with his long legs.
“It’s ready,” is all he says.
I look at Miss Ella as we rush through the kitchen and see her smiling at us. She looks like a proud momma bear.
Halfway to the river, I pull at Jack’s hand. “Slow down, you’re going too fast for me!”
Jack stops dead in his tracks. One arm slips under my back and the other under my knees, and then I’m airborne. Jack starts to walk fast again and I throw my arms around his neck, laughing at how excited he is.
As we near the clearing where the chapel is, I get a glimpse of purple through the trees. Jack suddenly puts me down and then his hands go over my eyes. “Don’t peek. Just walk straight ahead.”
I hold onto his wrists and take careful steps. I don’t want to go falling.
“That’s perfect, stop right here,” he says, his voice hoarse with excitement.
His hands fall away from my eyes and my mouth drops open. Everywhere I look is flowers, all different shades of purple. It looks like a wonderland with the chapel standing to the side.
I slowly walk through the flowers, touching one here and there. There are Shooting Stars, some New York Asters, Mistflowers and Dwarf Crested Iris, and the most stunning of all are the roses.
“It’s all so beautiful, Jack,” I breathe. Standing in the middle of the clearing I turn in a slow circle, taking all the beauty in around me. “I can’t believe you did all of this in one week. I’m so proud of you!”
He comes closer, a soft look on his face. It’s the first time since he got here that he has this particular look.
He tilts his head and lets his eyes caress my face. “You’re proud of me?” his voice is hoarse with emotion and it makes me melt right there.
“So very proud,” I whisper. I walk to him, place my hands on his strong jaw, and standing on my toes, I kiss him.
The kiss grows more urgent, our tongues dancing and tasting. I lose myself in Jack’s embrace and for the first time he’s the one to break the kiss. He trails soft kisses over my jaw and then whispers, “Thank you, River.”
I pull back and smile up at him. “For what?”
Tears glisten in his eyes. “For saving me.”
“Oh, Jack.” I hug him tightly and it’s in this moment that I know I love this man with all my heart and I’ll kill for him.
~*~
“After the ‘R’ comes an ‘I’.” I’m teaching Jack how to write my name. His writing is getting much better by the day and I’m so proud of him.