“Honey, don’t,” Pastor Beasley says. “Let me explain.”
I take a few more steps and then Mr. Trenton stands up. “Did I say somethin’ wrong?” he asks.
Why does he know about my father? What does he know?
“I thought no one knew,” I whisper to no one in particular. Locking eyes with Pastor Beasley, it feels as if my heart is shattering at my feet. “I trusted you.”
“I didn’t tell anyone, Dear. Let’s go talk about this,” he says in a gentle voice that could always calm me.
“How does he know?” I ask. My voice sounds thin and I try to breathe faster as the darkness starts to creep up on me. I can’t have a panic attack here. Not in front of all these people.
“Your father wrote a letter to you,” Mr. Trenton says.
“Not now, William!” Pastor Beasley hushes him.
“He did what?” I shriek. “He knows where I am?”
“He can’t hurt you,” Pastor Beasley takes a step toward me. I take one backwards and then panic and fear hits me full on, unlike anything I’ve felt before.
“He will.” I turn and run as if I’m running from the devil himself. I have to get away as fast as I can. He knows where I am! He’ll come for me! He’ll finish what he started all those years back. He’ll kill me this time!
I yank the front door open and take the porch steps in one jump. The Trenton’s have a big front yard. In front of me is a stretch of green lawn. I cover half the distance when an arm swoops around my waist. The grip is so hard my breath gets ripped right from my lungs. My feet lift from the ground and as the person swings me around I come face to face with Cole as he runs towards us.
“I’ll take her, Travis,” he says. They’re not even out of breath from coming after me! I’m panting like a dog, totally breathless.
“I’m not going back in,” I snap.
“You don’t have to,” Cole says as Travis sets me down. Cole’s fingers wrap around my arm, as if he’s scared I’ll make a run for it again. His eyes dart over my head to Travis. “Will you tell them I’m going for a walk with Bridget?”
“Sure thing, man.” Travis says. He jogs back and I keep my eyes on the front door until he closes it behind him. I glance up at Cole. He loosens his grip on me, but he doesn’t let go. His touch is calming, in a different way as to what Pastor Beasley’s is. Cole has been my happy zone for a very long time.
Over the past year he’s filled out quite nicely with all the sports he’s done.
“Let’s go for that walk,” he says.
His hand slides down my arm until he reaches my hand. When his fingers interlace with mine, a fire cracker explodes somewhere between my left lung and my heart, leaving my insides in a mushy mess.
We walk in silence all the way to the corner of the street before I gather the guts to say something. “I’m sorry for weirding out like that at your house.”
“My dad shouldn’t have said the things he did,” he says.
You see why I love the guy so much? He never does or says anything wrong!
“Still,” I mumble. “I feel awful. Your parents must think I’ve just escaped from crazy town.”
“My parents will understand,” he says. He gives my hand a squeeze.
“I won’t run away,” I say. I bring our hands up to eye level. “You can let go.”
“I know.” His lips curve in the familiar trademark way that all the Holden men have. Mrs. Trenton and Mrs. Holden are sisters, so the smile must come from their side of the family.
“You want to talk about what happened?” he asks. He nudges me with his shoulder, indicating for me to take a left at the intersection.
“I …” The street lights flicker on around us, and only then do I realize how fast the sun is setting. I can’t be outside when it’s dark! This night is turning out to be my worst nightmare. “I need to get back. Pastor Beasley will be worried.”
“He knows you’re with me.”
“Still, he’ll worry.” I can see how the darkness is setting in around us and without thinking I step closer to Cole. “I need to get back, please.”
“Are you okay?” he asks. His fingers folds warm around my chin, lifting my face to his. “You look scared, like you were back at the house.” I can hardly see the light blue of his eyes as the dark settles around us. My heart slams painfully against my chest and right now I don’t care what he thinks of me. I just need light.
“I’m scared of the dark, Cole.”
Instead of laughing at me, or teasing me like some of the other guys would’ve, he reaches into his pocket. His keys rattle as he takes something off, and then a bright beam of light flashes over my chest.
“Will this help until I can get you home?” He holds the little flashlight out to me.
As my fingers wrap around it, I smile for the first time tonight. The little flashlight blasts a serious beam of light wherever I shine it.
“It will. Thank you.”
Cole’s arm falls around my shoulders and as he draws me against his side, we walk home. As we near his house he slows our pace, until we come to a standstill out on the front lawn.
“So I have a question,” he asks as I move out from under his arm. He steps closer to me until he’s inches from touching me with his body. Being so close to him is a sensory overload!
He’s confusing me. I thought he held my hand to keep me from running. With the arm around the shoulder thing I thought he was just sweet about me being scared of the dark. But now he’s right in my personal space and I can’t think of a reason why he would want to be so close to me.
“If you’re scared of the dark, do you ever go outside to watch the stars?” he asks the question I least expected him to ask.
“N-no,” I stutter like an idiot.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” He doesn’t wait for my reply.
I watch him jog to his truck. He leans over the side and then he jogs back with a blanket.
“A blanket?” I’m not cold. It’s actually quite hot out, but then I’m wearing a long sleeve.
“For us to lie on,” he says. He takes hold of my hand and pulls me further into the darkness to the corner of their garden. I cling to the little flashlight as if my life depends on it!
“Lie on?” I squeak. “Like lie on the blanket?” I peep some more.
“Yeah,” he says as if I’m not squeaking like a chipmunk. I watch him spreading the blanket out before he pulls me down next to him. “Lie back and relax. I won’t bite.” He laughs as he says this.
“It’s not you I’m worried about,” I mumble, but I lie down anyway.
My vision is filled with the stars that have just come out, tiny lights far above.
“See there is always light somewhere,” he says. Cole’s body presses against mine as he points to one. “Some shine brighter than others.” When he looks down at me, everything around us fades away. It’s like earlier when he was sitting at the bar. I can’t tear my eyes away from his eyes as they hold mine in a penetrating gaze. “You just need to see the light, Bridget. It’s always there.”
My chest grows heavy with the old familiar pain, always there to weigh me down. My past will always hold me back. No light is bright enough to shine through that kind of darkness.
A breath flutters over my trembling lips and I turn my head away. I can’t believe how horrible this night has turned out. Cole has seen much more of me than I want him to see. I wish I never came. That way I could still be the invisible girl that he bumps into at the lockers.
I press my elbows into the ground and push myself up. Halfway up Cole’s arm darts around my waist, stopping me from getting up.
“Don’t do that, Bridget,” he whispers behind me.
“Do what?” I ask nervously. My heart is squarely stuck in my throat. My emotions are all over the place; free falling from being scared to death of my father, to wanting to be happy that Cole is giving me the time of day.