“Jesus Christ, Rebecca. You’re in labor. We’re going to the hospital now!” I couldn’t believe it. Fuck! She still had a month and two weeks to go. This was not good.
“Oh god, Jeff. Please…I just need you to leave. Crysti can take me to the hospital. I’m sure it will be fine. They will get the contractions under control. I’ll probably just be put on bed rest or something. Really, I just need you to leave!”
When we got to my truck, I gently set Rebecca down while I opened the passenger door.
“What the fuck are you talking about? Your water broke! You’re gonna have this baby, Rebecca, regardless if it’s time or not. I’m not leaving. I missed the first seven months. Do you really think I’m going to miss the birth of my son?” I held the door open and helped her in. Poor thing seems like she was scared to death.
Rebecca was panicked during the entire ride to the hospital. I thought she was going insane. Motherfucker, is this a normal reaction?
She just kept saying the same things over and over again. How this can’t be happening. This wasn’t part of her plan.
“Rebecca, I’m pretty sure Mother Nature’s plan outweighs yours. It’s going to be okay.”
She called the doctor’s office, saying that her water broke. Then, she began crying hysterically. What the fuck?
***
Twenty minutes later, things were only getting worse. The nurses were telling Rebecca that she needed to calm down. She even tried to tell one of the nurses that I wasn’t allowed in the room.
“What the hell? I’m the father! You better bet your ass I’m gonna be in the room!”
The nurse was yelling at me to stop yelling at Rebecca. My phone started ringing, and I looked down to see it was Ellie calling. I went to answer it, and the nurse just glared at me.
“Really? Turn it off and put it away, Mr. Johnson! Now!”
Shit! I sent it to voice mail and put it back in my pocket.
Rebecca looked at me and tried to smile.
“Jeff, I really need you to just not talk to anyone if you’re gonna stay. Please I just need peace and quiet. What I really need is to be left alone. I’ll call you after I have the baby.”
When I looked at the nurse, she was staring at Rebecca. Then she pulled me outside of the room.
“Mr. Johnson, clearly Ms. Moore is very upset. I’m not really sure why she keeps asking you to leave. Honestly, it’s a bit strange, but over the years, I’ve learned not to question what women in labor do and say. With that said, we really need her to calm down. Her contractions are coming faster, and Dr Wyatt’s is almost here. I need to tell you though that the baby is getting stressed. I cannot stress how important it is that we get her to calm down.”
I nodded my head. “I understand what you’re saying, but I’m not leaving. I missed the whole pregnancy. I can’t miss the birth. I just can’t.”
Just then, my phone rang again. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw it was Gunner. I hit ignore. A minute later, I got a text. I looked at it quickly and noticed I had one message from Ellie and one from Gunner.
Ellie: “Jeff, please call me ASAP. It’s about Ari. Please call.”
Gunner:“Jeff, it’s really important that you call one of us back right away. It’s Ari, dude. Something has happened.”
Shit! Ari was probably so pissed off that I left. Mother fucker. I can’t deal with this shit right now.
I sent Ellie and Gunner a text back.
Rebecca in labor. At hospital. Will call later.
Just then, a doctor walked out of Rebecca’s room. What the hell? I didn’t even see him go in there.
“Are you Mr. Johnson?”
I held out my hand to shake his. “Yes, Jeff Johnson.”
He gave me a once over and shook his head. What the hell?
“I’m afraid we are going to have to put Ms. Moore under. She won’t calm down, and her blood pressure is way too high. I’m having an OR prepped for a cesarean right now. The baby is stressed. It appears the cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck, so we need to move fast. Please go in and try to calm her down. Then, one of the nurses will take you to get ready.”
My head was spinning. I wanted to ask him if the baby would be okay since Rebecca went into labor so early, but then my fucking phone went off again. Ellie. I sent it to voice mail and turned off my phone. I would deal with Ari later. I needed to think about Rebecca and the baby right now.
“Um…okay. I’ll try to get her to calm down, but I think I’m making her more upset for some reason.”
“Just try your best. I’ll see you in a bit.” He walked away with a different nurse following behind him.
When I walked into the room, Rebecca looked up at me with panic in her eyes.
“Hey, honey, please don’t worry. It’s going to be okay. It will all be okay, Rebecca. I need you to calm down, okay?”
Two more nurses came in and asked for me to go with the one nurse to get ready for the C section.
All I could hear as I walked out of the room was Rebecca begging them not to put her to sleep. I looked down the hall, I saw Crysti She was white as a ghost and barely smiled at me as I started to make my way to her.
The nurse took my arm and guided me in the other direction. “Mr. Johnson, this way, please. We need to get moving.”
I turned back and looked at Crysti who was just watching me walk away.
Something is not right. I had the worst feeling in my stomach, like something terrible was about to happen.
***
The moment I heard the baby cry, I almost started to cry. Thank God he was breathing and healthy. Rebecca would only be out for about thirty more minutes, so I took advantage of holding my son.
I just stared at him. I wanted so badly to love this baby, but I didn’t feel a connection. Is it because I missed out on so much of the pregnancy? Why am I not feeling anything?
I felt sick in the pit of my stomach, almost like I had lost something. I was confused though because I hadn’t lost anything. I had just gained something.
Dr. Wyatt came up and patted me on the back as he smiled at me.
“Dr. Wyatt, is he going to be okay? I mean, he looks strong and healthy. He’s so big for being born a month and a half early. Will he be okay?”
Dr. Wyatt just gave me a strange look.
“Rebecca was due in two weeks, Jeff. Her due date was July seventeenth, not August. The baby’s going to be just fine.”
If I hadn’t been holding the baby in my arms, I was pretty sure my legs would have gone out from under me.
“What?”
“You thought she was due in August?”
“She told me she was due in August. She told me she was...”
Then, everything that had happened –her wanting Crysti to pick her up, her panicking when I stayed. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This was her plan all along. She never had any intentions of me being at the birth because I would find out that she was further along than she’d said. Motherfucker. Everyone was right. Ari was right.
***
I sat in the chair next to Rebecca’s bed. When I heard her starting to wake up, I sat up, putting my arms on my legs. She looked over at me and smiled.
“Where’s the baby?” she asked as she started to look around.
“He’s fine. He’s in the nursery. They’re just waiting for you to wake up.”
“Is he beautiful, Jeff?”
I just nodded.
“Why…why isn’t he in here? Why are you not with him?”
“Why would I be, Rebecca?”
She looked confused, and then it hit her. As she looked away, I saw a tear run down her face.
“You weren’t really due in August, were you?” I asked.
“No.” she whispered.
“You thought Ari and I were getting married, so you tried one last-ditch attempt at getting me back? You didn’t think I’d be getting a paternity test done, Rebecca?”
“I thought I could make you love us...love the baby…so you would want to stay. Then you wouldn’t want to be with Ari…you’d want to be with me and your son.”