“Ari, please…please don’t do this. What else was I supposed to do?”
“Did. She. Have. Your. Baby?”
“Yes, she had the baby, but he isn’t mine.”
I snapped my head back toward him. I wasn’t sure if I should be relieved or angry.
“What?”
“It turns out that she faked the whole contraction story to get me away from you. She had this whole plan, Ari. She was trying to pull us apart. Then her water broke, and she started freaking out that I was there. They put her under for a C section. When I asked the doctor if the baby would be okay since he was born early, he told me…”
Jeff just stopped and stared at me.
I knew it! I knew that bitch was lying the whole time. She was the reason this happened to me. I hated her more than ever.
“He told you what, Jeff?”
“He, um, he told me Rebecca’s due date was in two weeks. I confronted her when she woke up, and she told me the truth about everything. She’s so fucking twisted, Ari. It’s unreal. Baby, I don’t want to talk about her. The baby’s not mine, so we can put this whole thing behind us now. It can just be you and me, baby.”
He reached for my hand, and even though I didn’t want to touch him, I didn’t have the strength to pull it away.
“No, it’s not that easy Jeff. You left us. You picked Rebecca and that baby over us. I’ll never forgive you for this. Ever.”
Jeff looked confused as the tears started to slide down his face.
“Ari, no. Please don’t say that, baby. I didn’t pick her over you. I didn’t know what else to do, Ari! I was worried about the baby and.”
I shook my head. “Please just stop! Stop talking about that baby.” I looked back at him. “You left us, Jeff.”
“Ari, I’m here, baby, I’m here now. I promise you that I’ll never leave you again. I promise baby, never again.”
I just stared at him.
“Do you want to know what I was going to tell you before you left?”
“Of course I do, Ari.”
“I was going to tell you that you and I were having a baby, that our future was growing in my stomach. I wanted to tell you how scared I’ve been for the last week, how scared I was that you were going to be upset because I missed my pills and got pregnant, how scared I was that you would pick Rebecca’s baby over ours, and how scared I was that our baby might have Fragile X. I was going to tell you all this, but you left. You left to go be with Rebecca and a child who you didn’t even know was yours when I knew for a fact that you were the father of my baby.”
Jeff’s face turned white as a ghost. “Ari…we’re gonna have a baby?”
When I saw the smile slowly spread across his face, I died inside all over again.
I turned my head away and started to cry. Why didn’t I tell him sooner? Why am I blaming him when it was entirely my fault? If I had just told him, he might not have walked away from us.
“Ari, baby, I could never, ever be upset with you. When I held that baby in my arms, I felt nothing, and in that moment, I knew he wasn’t mine. I only want to have kids with you…only you.”
He reached over and turned my face back toward him.
This was tearing me up inside. I needed to tell him even though I knew I was about to devastate him.
“I lost the baby when I fell off Rose.”
He stood up straight and started to shake his head. “No…oh God… no.”
He slowly started to lower himself to his knees. When his knees hit the floor he put his head on the side of the bed and started to cry.
“Oh god…Ari. I’m so sorry, baby…oh god…this is all my fault.”
I wanted so badly to comfort him, but at the same time, I wanted him to hurt just as much as I did.
“I need you to leave, Jeff. I need to be alone.”
He looked up at me, eyes filled with tears. “I’m not leaving you again, Ari. I’m never leaving you again.”
“I don’t want you here!” I shouted at him. I winced in pain from my bruised ribs and pounding headache. Motherfucker! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, that fucking hurt.
“I’m not leaving you baby. You can shout and scream all you want, Ari. I’m never going to leave your side again. It doesn’t matter if you want me here or not.”
Ellie walked into the room. “Is everything okay, Ari?”
When Ellie looked at Jeff on the floor, she saw that he was crying. Walking over, she dropped to her knees next to him.
“Jefferson.”
He turned and hugged her, and then he started crying even more.
Of all the times I’ve fallen off a horse, why do I now get ribs that hurt so damn bad I can’t move? I just wanted to be the one to hold and comfort him.
Shit! I’m losing my goddamn mind. I just told him to leave, and now, I’m jealous of Ellie hugging him.
“It’s all my fault, Ellie. It’s all my fault.”
Ellie kept telling Jeff it was okay.
No, it wasn’t okay.
“No, it’s not okay!” I yelled.
Ellie and Jeff both looked at me with concern.
Jeff stood up, took my hand, and kissed it.
“No, baby, it’s not okay. I’m so sorry I did this to you, Ari. Please don’t ask me to leave you. I just need to be with you.”
Ellie stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed. The two most important people in my life were on either side of me, so why did I feel like I was so alone?
“I…you didn’t do this to me, Jeff. It just wasn’t meant to be,” I struggled to keep the tears from falling again.
Jeff shook his head. I knew he was beating himself up inside right now. I was feeling so many things that I couldn’t keep them straight. I was tired. I hurt everywhere. I was angry, sad, and devastated. All of this rolled up into one. My urge to comfort Jeff was pissing me the fuck off also. I just wanted to be angry with him.
“Ari, I love you more than life itself. I’ll do anything for you. I will do anything for you, baby.”
I smiled at him because I knew he meant every word he was saying.
“Can you go push Rebecca down an empty mineshaft?”
Ellie let out a giggle.
Jeff smiled. “Baby, if you really want me to, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
“As much as I really want to say yes…no, I don’t want that.”
I turned to Ellie and she gave me the sweetest smile.
“Ellie, please tell everyone they can leave. My parents need to get back to Matt. If Josh and Heather haven’t killed each other by now, I’m sure they’re ready to go insane with my baby brother. I have Jeff now. I’m gonna be fine.” I smiled at the love of my life.
The most overwhelming feeling of comfort came over me. Just having him smile at me and tell me how much he loved me brought such a peace.
My heart was breaking inside, but somehow, I knew it was all going to be okay.
Ellie kissed me gently good bye and walked out of the room.
Jeff leaned down to softly kiss my lips.
“I love you, Arianna.”
“I love you, too, Jeff.”
“It’s all going to be okay. Please tell me you believe me.”
“I believe you.”
Too bad my heart didn’t agree with what I just said.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
JOSH
I stood there at the kitchen entrance, watching Heather play with Matt. She was amazing with him. It was no wonder she wanted to be a teacher. She had a gift. I couldn’t believe how patient she was with him, it was clear that he loved her.
They were both mopping Jeff and Ari’s kitchen floor…again.
“Heather, do you like mopping with me?” Matt asked.
He had the cutest damn smile I’d ever seen. Little guy is moving in on my girl.
My girl…I wish.
She had barely spoken two words to me since everyone had left. I had finally talked Lynda into heading back up to Emma and Garrett’s house after an hour of her rolling her fucking eyes at Matt and Heather.