Matt jumps off the bike first, removing his helmet, then takes my hand to help me down. He unhooks the strap, his blue eyes never leaving mine, and I find it hard to look away. “So, what did you think?” He pushes my now matted hair away from my face, his hand lingering between my cheek and my ear, sending a shiver through me that doesn’t go unnoticed. “Cold?” he asks.
“No.” I don’t know what I feel but it’s definitely not cold. If anything, his touch shoots a warmth through me that’s unsettling, mostly because I don’t know what to do with it. There’s a part of me that wants to lean into his hand but I hold back.
“I really enjoyed the ride,” I say quickly, trying to ward off this strange sensation. “It was actually pretty freeing. I didn’t get the fascination before but I think I do now.”
“I liked it, too. More so because you were wrapped around me,” he teases with a sparkle in the steel blue depths of his eyes, earning a shove from me.
“Ass.”
“I like it when you’re forceful,” he says, stumbling, before placing his hand on my lower back and leading me to the sand. “Sit.”
“So, why here?” I look around, barely noticing any sound except for the water rippling along the shore.
“I used to come here a lot after my sister died. It’s a good place to think. Plus, it reminds me of a small reservoir in Connecticut my family spent time at when we were growing up.”
Thoughts of New York wander through my head and make me smile. “I have a spot I go to in Central Park when I want to think or just reflect on things, too. There’s a bench that pretty much has my name on it now and a musician who’s always at that same spot playing his guitar and singing. I like to sit and listen to him, get lost in the music. It helps me sort through things sometimes.” I shrug. “I think everyone needs a place they can escape to….” I pick up a rock and toss it, watching it skim across the water. “Where I grew up in Northern California there was a playground across the street from my house and I’d always go sit on the merry-go-round when I was upset, especially if someone had teased me.”
“Oh no,” he says sympathetically, surrounding his head with both hands and shaking it, “the dreaded teasing which no child can escape. What were you teased about?”
I let out a sharp laugh, my head falling back. “What wasn’t I teased about? I’ll never forget the things they said to me.”
“What kinds of things?” he prods, huddling closer to me, but continuing to stare out at the water.
“It’s so embarrassing. They used to call me ‘big fanny Fran’ in third grade.” I bite the inside of my cheek. “I kind of always had a big butt.” My face heats at the memory of Gerald Windmeier chasing me around the playground screaming it and challenging the other kids to say it ten times fast.
Matt bumps my shoulder, a teasing grin lifting his lips. “I can’t confirm or deny unless you want to do a couple of twirls.”
I scrunch my nose and feel the wrinkle on my forehead popping out. “Fat chance.”
“That nickname really doesn’t suit you though,” he says thoughtfully, “I would’ve called you….” He cocks his head to the side, taking a second to peruse my face. “Sunshine.”
“Sunshine?” I cast him a quizzical look. “Why sunshine?”
He tucks a wind-blown strand of hair behind my ear, the blue in his eyes connecting with the green in mine. “Why sunshine? Because the light in your eyes causes your whole face to beam…so yeah”—he smiles—“sunshine.”
I wrap my arms around my knees as my gaze dips down, a shyness enveloping me. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.”
Chapter Eighteen – Matt - Sunshine
Jesus. Her bright eyes widen a fraction as the word ‘sunshine’ leaves my mouth. The way she’s looking at me, that brilliant twinkle alight in the green of her eyes, it’s like I just gave her the world. The fucked up part? I suddenly want to give it to her. And that scares the shit out of me.
She curls into herself, her eyes dropping to the sand and I gently touch her shoulder, wanting to bring her back to me.
“Fran,” I say quietly, “look at me.”
When she lifts her face, all traces of that little spark are gone, replaced by someone I don’t recognize…someone sad and maybe even a little lost. Tears swim in her eyes and it makes me want to wipe them all away, to hold her and chase away the demons that are threatening to surface.
“I didn’t realize there was any light left,” she murmurs hoarsely, and I can’t bear the devastation I see in the dimmed green flame of her eyes. The rawness in her tone brings a burning ache to my chest.
Without hesitating, I bundle her in my arms and surprisingly she responds by circling hers around my waist, allowing me to comfort her. “It’s gonna be okay, Fran,” I whisper, rubbing calming circles around her back. “It’s gonna be okay.” The small whimpering sounds she’s making are breaking my fucking heart. I want to be able to fix this for her but I know from experience that’s not possible. All I can do is be here if she needs me.
After a few minutes she lifts her head away from my shoulder, sniffling, rubbing her eyes and her nose with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry for losing it.” She straightens her shoulders and heaves out a sigh.
I tip her chin, grasping it between my thumb and forefinger. “You don’t ever have to apologize for who you are, Fran, not with me. Besides,” I tease, grinning, “I got a hug out of the deal.”
The edges of her lips curl and she rolls her eyes as she pushes to her feet.
“I got you to smile. Mission accomplished. Hey, where do you think you’re going?”
She cups a hand to her ear, her eyes set in concentration. “Don’t you hear that?”
I still, listening for whatever noise I’m supposed to be hearing, but am on the receiving end of silence. “I don’t hear anything.”
She smiles and rubs her belly. “My stomach is growling. I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat.”
We climb back on the bike after putting our helmets on and I wait for Fran to settle herself, wrapping her arms around me, our bodies molding together perfectly. She holds on tight, her breasts crushed against my back, the heat from her body settling into mine, working its way through every part of me. I’m definitely taking the long way home.
Chapter Nineteen – Fran – Decent company
I’m waiting for Matt to stop at any one of the restaurants we pass by as we weave in and out of various side streets, but he never does. I can’t figure out where we’re going and it seems like we’ve been on this bike for a while, not that I’m complaining. It’s actually a lot more enjoyable than I thought it would be.
He veers into his condo complex and my stomach disapproves because I’m starving. He presses the remote for the garage and once it opens, pulls the bike inside, and cuts the engine.
“What are we doing back here? I thought we were going to get something to eat,” I ask, chucking my helmet at him, frustration and hunger drawing my grumpy side out to rear its ugly head.
He situates the helmets back on the shelf and turns around to face me. “We are getting something to eat. I’m gonna cook.”
“You cook, too?” My hand flies to my chest. “Say it isn’t so,” I tease, and he smirks. Matt seems to have a number of surprises up his sleeve and I can’t wait to see what’s next.
“Yes, I cook, and I’m pretty good, if I do say so myself,” he replies, confident. He leads us through a door at the back of the garage that takes us into his condo. The room we enter is a finished basement complete with pool table, an oversized flat screen TV, an air hockey table, and even a pinball machine. There’s a bar on the far wall and two black leather couches in an L-shape facing the television. A metal shelf sits behind them containing hundreds of movies.