Читать онлайн "Schroder" - Gaige Amity - RuLit

So. Much. Time.

I let you down.

I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down. I let you down.

I let you down. I let you down. I let you down.

EN FIN

I’ve been silent a long time now. Twenty-one days by my count. My voice, when I hear it in my sleep, has acquired an odd depth from disuse, a kind of virgin hoarseness. My speech strike has been an interesting experiment, bringing me just about everything except for what I’d hoped. As a tactical method, it’s been a clear failure. I’ve been deemed noncooperative, and despite my polite notes explaining my silence, I’ve been placed under protective custody and left entirely in my cell for all but an hour of solitary roaming in the gym. I haven’t seen my daughter. I haven’t heard a word. All I know is that the letter I tried to send against the advice of my lawyer to the old Pine Hills apartment was returned to me unopened, with no forwarding address. I’m left to think that all I’ve gained from my silence is this document, one I never would have written if I had allowed myself to speak. If I had spoken, I would have jawed all day long in the dayroom with the other guys. I would have sung under my breath at night. I would have made friends with the guards or found my way to the infirmary, or into one of the workshops on child development offered to those who’ve acquired an academic interest in how they got here. Instead, I wrote.