“Hey leave the socks on, the sunglasses too Mr. Schultz it kind of gives me a kick.”
“No problem.”
Sylvia reaching out with undulating inviting fingers to welcome Schultz’s record breaking pudenda advancing across the light green carpet. Jesus christ, suddenly this expensive suite is beginning to pay dividends. One second I’m being embarrassed out of my mind prostrate at the feet of dignitaries and next in that good old American let’s make friends tradition, my pulse is pounding with the prospect of doing what comes naturally.
“Wow. O Wow. Look what’s sprouting out of those black curly locks you got.”
“Honey you’re not so bad either.”
“Mr. Schultz O my god. You have no idea. I swear you don’t. Of what this is doing to me. No kidding. Hey just stand a fraction back. So I can really view.”
“No problem.”
“Mr. Schultz it is beautiful, beautiful. O hey wow, stand in profile.
“Fantastic, fantastic, Mr. Schultz. Herbie, the camera, get the camera.”
“Honey, the flattery is appreciated but please no god damn pictures, Jesus christ.”
“O. Not even one.”
“Not even one, honey. And is it all you want me to do is just make me just stand here.”
“O gee, gosh, I’m sorry. Step right over.”
Schultz approaching in his best bedside manner. Down in the street fire apparatus bells clanging. A snore erupting from Herbie. Sylvia running her fingertips up and down the underside of Schultz’s erection.
“Mr. Schultz, no kidding it should be cast in bronze for posterity.”
“Never mind casting, keep touching honey. You got magic fingers.”
“A perfect prick deserves perfect petting.”
“And how, honey. And how.”
“Gee we should waste not a second Mr. Schultz, let’s get going. Fuck me.”
“No problem.”
Two bodies clapping together. Schultz’s sunglasses hanging off caught on an ear. Sylvia heading backwards towards the pillow, two legs shooting out into the air locking in a scissor grip around Schultz. Who broad jumped upwards from the woolly carpet. To plunge into these soft entwining arms and squeezing strong legs. Another snore from Herbie. Sylvia’s mouth biting, her hips squirming and turning and tossing Schultz over crashing into Herbie who went arse thumping out of bed on the floor.
“Hey christ Sylvia, watch what you’re doing.”
Schultz and Sylvia, limbs still clutching in each other’s paroxysms. Herbie standing surveying the wild flailing bodies as he brushed off his arse. Schultz’s sunglasses landing at his feet. Herbie picking them up, and with his eyebrows raised, putting them on to survey the bodies on the bed. To turn away scratching his head, flat footing it over to the dressing table mirror. Where he made several contorted faces before lifting his lip and prising loose with a fingernail a particle of food lodged between his incisors. Shouts from Sylvia. Herbie turning to look. The bodies reflected in the mirror pounding up and down.
“Fuck me, fuck me inside out.”
“No problem.”
Herbie emitting a long belch. Clearing his throat as he took a hair brush to the upstanding strands on his balding scalp. Now standing to dab Vaseline on his private part and pat eau de cologne on his neck, armpits and in his pubic hair. Herbie turning. And facing the bed with a brand new erection. Schultz’s arse ramming away again on top of an open mouthed crying out loud Sylvia.
“Mr. Schultz, shoot. Shoot.”
“I nearly am honey.”
“Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.”
“Holy shit I’m coming, coming.”
“O my god Mr. Schultz, O my god. You’ve shot. You’ve shot. You’ve shot.”
“Honey when you said shoot I just had to go bang, bang, bang.”
Schultz’s perspiring head hung in the nape of Sylvia’s neck. Her gold chain caught across his mouth. The feel of her hair softly on the ear. Musky aroma of her skin. Like a so faint, so faint taste of truffles, so sweet, so sweet.
“Jesus Mr. Schultz someone somewhere must be a lucky woman. Still waters flow deep. O God it feels so good. Still way up in me. Still so hard in there. You’re a surprise I’m never going to get over.”
“Should I give your husband his turn maybe.”
“Don’t move, don’t get off. Herbie can wait. Can’t you Herbie.”
“I can wait. Like what am I. Just the husband.”
On the wide white expanse of sheet, Schultz slowly grinding away once more. Sylvia’s eyes closing. Purring out little long groans. Her lips curled back from her teeth. Jesus I look up and the Dorchester clock has gone backwards. Somewhere in the back of my mind hidden by all my troubles, I remember the first second I saw her, what a glint she had in her eye. Juicy girl. A genius. Has my cock in there working like it was part of her. Plus she’s backed up by one of the best little arses I’ve ever known. Which alone is worth the price of admission. All women I fuck from now on will be measured against her. Imagine such bliss as this. Without spending a penny of my own personal money. Without jam flung all over the walls. Or busted antiques and floods. Without a geriatric old hen like Al trying to corral me up the fucking aisle. Holy Jesus. Even that. Wow. Her finger. Pressing down on my ass. And Jesus, going right in. Right at the right time. Shows you looks don’t matter a damn. Sylvia and Herbie’s faces could win contests for designs for the back of a bus. And even I wasn’t always as handsome as I am now. My buck teeth growing up were knocking over all the girls on the block. Till Uncle Werb paid to have them fixed. My own father saying leave them. So what if they stick out, they make him noticed, it could help his personality. Thanks a bunch dad. Holy Jesus is it two fingers she’s sticking in. Or three knuckles. Jesus that star on a chain flipping all over her chest. Like she could be she’s stamped approved kosher by my whole family. Aunt Essie, Uncle Werb. Sigmund why don’t you find a nice girl and settle down in the diamond business. Because Uncle Werb, this is only my first arse thrilling fuck I’ve got out of this production. But holy jeeze at first with one finger or two it was wonderful but now it’s all her fingers or her whole fist going up my ass. What’s this kneeling. Now right over me. With hairy arms. And a chronometer watch on the wrist.
“Hey for Christ’s sake what’s going on.”
“Let him, Mr. Schultz, let him.”
“Let him. Like hell I will.”
Schultz grabbed from in front by Sylvia. Herbie crashing down from behind. Schultz struggling between the compressed bodies.
“Stop stop.”
“Let him Mr. Schultz, it only hurts in the beginning. No problem.”
“No problem like hell, you pair of fucking rapists. Get your prick out of my ass.”
It’s
Some problem
Hurting me
In
The end
19
Twelve minutes to four by the clock above the hotel revolving doors. As Schultz with his grey battered top hat in hand came out of the elevator looking twice behind over his shoulder. Walking between the deep green sofas and settees full of people. And spotting Pricilla sitting by a black marble pillar in a mauve taffeta dress, mauve high heeled shoes and a blue spotted green scarf tied around her waist. Just like she’s come fresh from selecting a dozen creations at a mannequin parade at Fortnum’s who are going to send me the bill.
“Hi ya baby. Sorry I’m a little late.”
“Late. You’re more than late. How dare you come to meet me dressed like that. Where have you been.”
“Look honey I’ve really had a long day. And I’m glad you’re here already. Let me go see my car’s alright. I’ll be a second.”
“Look at you, is that supposed to be a morning suit. Your coat is torn in two.”
“I know it’s torn in two for christ’s sake.”