Tanner reached over, tapping his fingers along my arm. “I’m thinking some pretty bad things right now.”
I couldn’t look at him.
“I hope it’s just my head jumping to conclusions unjustly,” he added.
The next breath I took hurt for some reason. “It’s jumping to conclusions.”
His hand stilled and he wrapped his fingers around my wrist and squeezed softly. “Hey,” he said gently. “Look at me.”
Drawing in a shallow breath, I lifted my gaze and our eyes met. Held. A heartbeat passed, and I felt stripped bare, more exposed than I had been earlier.
“I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk to someone, I’m here. No matter the time of the day. You got that?”
And then I saw it plain as day in his gaze. There was no mistaking it. Not just sympathy. Part of me could’ve dealt with that, but there was more lurking in those blue eyes.
Pity.
He stared at me, full of pity. Every muscle in my body tightened. Skin prickled with uncomfortable heat. The urge to get away rushed through me. I couldn’t do this.
Tanner
I saw the exact moment Andrea shut down on me. As soon as I told her that she could talk to me about anything, shutters closed over her eyes. The girl who’d sat next to me and laughed was gone. The girl who opened up about her parents had left the room. And the girl who had cried out, surrendered herself, was nowhere to be seen.
Shit.
“Andy—”
“I’m really tired.” She swung her legs off the bed and stood before I could respond. “I think it’s time for me to get some sleep.” She started toward the door, seemed to remember that we were in her room, stopped, and placed her soda on a dresser. Her back was to me.
Heart dropping, I scooted off the bed and held myself back. I had a feeling that going to her would somehow make this worse. “Andrea, I didn’t mean to—”
“You didn’t do anything.” Slowly, she faced me and plastered a smile across her pretty face. Fake. Plastic. “I’m just really tired all of a sudden. You wore me out.” Her laugh was brittle-sounding. “I need my beauty rest.”
I opened my mouth, but clamped my jaw shut as her smile spread—the kind of smile doctors wore when giving patients bad news.
She gathered up a bundle of clothing from the chair, cradling the items close to her chest as she stopped in front of the bed. “I’ll see you in the morning?”
A huge part of me wanted to demand to know what the hell was going on, but there was no mistaking that her walls were up. I watched her hurry into the bathroom and quietly close the door.
I briefly considered plopping my ass down and waiting for her, but I’d accidentally hit a raw nerve, and frankly, I was too pissed to really have this conversation. Not angry at her, but if she really had done things with guys because she felt like she had to instead of wanting to, it was likely I’d punch a wall.
Thank God I did not have a sister.
If I couldn’t deal with the thought of assholes treating Andrea like that, what the hell would I do if I had a sister? Fuck. I’d end up in jail.
Angry and beyond frustrated, I gathered up our drinks and what was left of the cheese and left the room, taking them downstairs. The first level was dark and quiet, and after grabbing a bottle of water, I ended up back upstairs, in my room.
Shit.
Dropping down on the bed, I ran my hands over my face. Things were all over the place with Andrea and me, but I felt like we’d moved forward. It wasn’t just because what she and I had done in that bed, but because of everything before, during and after that. But now? I couldn’t shake the feeling that we’d taken one huge step backward.
Chapter 12
Andrea
My brows rose as I watched Syd place a backpack by the kitchen island. It looked like it weighed more than she did.
“You’re going to carry that while hiking?” I asked.
“Yep.” She tugged her hair up and secured it with a hair tie. “It’s really not that bad and it’s smart to be prepared in case something happens.”
“Like when a rabid bear tries to eat you?”
She grinned. “I don’t think we’re going to run into any rabid bears. And we’re not just going to hike. We’re going to camp out for the night.”
I gaped at her. “Seriously?”
Walking over to the counter, she grabbed the pot of coffee and began pouring the steaming liquid into her Thermos. “Yeah.” She looked over her shoulder at me and laughed. “You should see your expression. It’s like I just told you that we’re going to go camping on Mount Everest or something.”
I hopped up on the barstool. “When did you guys decide this?”
“Last night. After you went to bed.” She screwed the lid on the Thermos and faced me. “You know, after Tanner also went upstairs.”
Schooling my expression blank, I picked up my mug. “Okay.”
“Yep. Kyler and I thought it would be kind of cool to do. We used to camp out all the time when we were kids, so it’ll be fun.” Syd skipped over to me, placing the Thermos on the counter. “We were going to invite you and Tanner.”
“Oh really?” I murmured.
She nodded. “Actually, Kyler went upstairs last night to ask Tanner if he wanted to camp with us.”
My hand tightened around the warm mug.
“Strangely, Tanner wasn’t in his room.” Syd paused, lowering her voice. “And the funny thing was, he heard these noises coming from your—”
“Stop it,” I said, cheeks flaming. “I know where you’re going with this.”
Her eyes narrowed as she climbed onto the stool next to mine. “You need to spill, right now, and make it quick before Kyler gets his butt down here.”
Any other time I would’ve given her all the juicy details, but I shifted uncomfortably. Tanner could walk in on us at any moment. I took a deep breath and said in a quiet voice, “We didn’t have sex.”
She gave me her best serious look. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Andrea.”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t say we didn’t do other things, but we didn’t do that.”
“What other things?” A wide smile broke out across her face as she smacked my arm. “Tell me. Tell me now.”
“Stuff. Things. Use your imagination.”
She folded her arms and waited. “My imagination sucks. I need help.”
I glanced at the stairwell. “It involved his hands and my mouth. How about that?”
“Oh!” she chirped. “You dirty girl. He’s a dirty boy. You all are getting dirty together.”
“Oh my God,” I moaned, tucking a stray curl back. “You shouldn’t be talking. I know the dirty things you and Kyler do.”
“Hells yeah,” she replied, giggling. “The things we did last night were pretty freaky. Loved every second of it.”
I simply stared at her.
She tilted her head back and laughed, and I shook my head. “We spent most of the time just hanging out, to be honest,” I admitted after a moment. “It was really nice.”
“I’m sure it was.” Sincerity filled her words. “Tanner is a really good guy and you’re awesome. So it had to be nice.”
I wanted to deny that last part. Tanner was an awesome guy, and I was…well, I wasn’t sure what I was on most days.
“You two have always been circling one another,” she continued, drawing my focus. “It’s about time that you let go of what happened freshman year and he recognizes what’s been in front of his face a lot longer than he even realized.”
My heart stuttered and then sped up. I thought about the way he’d looked at me last night. “I don’t know, Syd. I’m…” I was afraid to open myself up, to expose myself to all that hope.
She touched my arm. “Just don’t stress out about it, okay? And if you feel up to it, give it a chance. Give it one shot. Use your time alone with him and see what happens. Kyler and I aren’t planning to come back until tomorrow evening. You two will have all day today and tomorrow.”