“Hey, don’t say that.”
“I knew how she was when I first met her. Stupid little—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is your girlfriend you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, well, what do you know?”
“I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.” It hurt me to say it too.
“And I know what it’s like to push someone away just to save yourself from pain.”
“I guess that makes you special,” she said with real bitterness. I knew it wasn’t for me, though.
“No. It makes me human. Just like you.”
“Aren’t you so smart.”
“I dunno. Wait till I tell you what’s going on in my life. Then you might not be so sure.”
“Yeah, let’s change the subject,” she said. “Too much about my problems for one night.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind…”
“I’m sure. Nothing you can do to help me anyway.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t be your friend.”
She laughed and sniffed again. “You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad you are.”
“Me too. And I know what you mean. Surprising as hell, isn’t it?”
“To say the least. So… tell me about your fucked-up life.”
“Well… there’s a girl.”
“I knew it.”
“Hey, you’re one to talk!”
Her dark laugh was agreement enough.
“Anyway, this girl…” I told her a little about my history with Gina, up to the point where we’d broken up. “Then we saw each other again at her sister’s wedding.”
“And sparks flew?”
“Big time. As good as it ever was, only better. We’d both grown up a lot.”
“So… what’s the problem?”
“Well… there’s this other girl.”
“There always is.”
“Says the lesbian.”
“Ha! Okay. You got me there. Anyway, what about this other girl?”
“I like her.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
“No, I mean I really like her.” I woofed like someone had punched me in the gut.
“What?”
“That’s the first time I’ve said that. Not just aloud, but even to myself.”
“Said what?”
“That I like her. And not just in a casual way, like any pretty girl.”
“Sure.”
“Hey, I may seem like a hound, but I’m actually pretty discriminating. I have ridiculously high standards. And my lifestyle… well, I’ll tell you later.
But take my word for it, it’s complicated.”
“So… what’s she like, this other girl?”
“You remember the girls who started all those rumors about you and Daphne?”
“Yes,” she said cautiously. “Hold on… you aren’t talking about that bitch Aisling.”
I laughed. “No.”
“So… the other one? The little blonde? What was her name?” She searched her memory. “Christy, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. Good memory.”
“Thanks. So… you fell for her? Isn’t that why she started all those rumors in the first place? To get back at you? ”
“Yeah.”
“So… what happened?”
“Well, it turns out she had a crush on me.”
“Figures.”
“And I was kind of a jerk to her.”
“Figures.”
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Hey, what’re friends for? Anyway, what happened to change that?”
“I moved in with her.”
She laughed. “You what? ”
“Moved in with her. She’s my best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend.”
She laughed again and worked through the relationships. “Okay. So you live with her. This Christy.”
“That wouldn’t normally be a problem. I mean, I’m not really looking for a girlfriend or anything.”
“Well, you might not be, but your weenie probably is.”
“Yes and no. I don’t really have any shortage of… um… friends.”
“Friends like you and Daphne?”
“Yeah.”
“Ah. I get it.”
“And speaking of which,” I said, “remind me sometime to tell you why I
don’t think your sexual preferences are all that shocking.”
“Oh?” she said, titillated.
“Yeah, but not tonight.”
“So you expect me to call back?”
“No, I’ll call you next time. I mean, I’m not rich or anything, but I can afford a couple of long-distance phone calls.”
“I don’t even wanna think about my phone bill this month.”
“No kidding. So I can call you if you’d like.”
“Um, yeah. That’d be nice.”
I laughed at the surprise in her voice.
She must have heard it too. “You’re a smug prick.”
“Guilty as charged.”
“Let me give you my number.”
I wrote it down.
“So,” she said, “you were explaining your perverted sex life?”
“Be careful with the words you throw around,” I said. “Lots of people would say being a lesbian is perverted. So don’t judge me, okay?”
“Okay,” she said, chastened. “I’ll give you that… you never make me feel immoral or unnatural or anything.”
“You’re completely natural. Trust me. I haven’t met many true lesbians, but I know a lot of women who’re bi. Some are like Daphne, just doing it because men have really screwed ’em over.” I thought of Stacy when I’d first met her. “But others, like a friend of mine… She and my mom have been lovers for a long time. And I don’t mean ‘best friends’ or a girl-crush. I mean genuine love.”
“I knew you weren’t normal! I don’t mean that in a bad way,” she said quickly. “I just knew you had something in your past—”
“In my present.”
“—in your present, then… to where you weren’t a judgmental asshole.”
“Oh, I’m a judgmental asshole all right. Just not about sex and love.
Lemme finish my story about Christy. Then you’ll see.”
“Okay, but hurry it up. Daphne will be home soon.”
“Yeah.” I looked at my watch. “And it’s almost midnight here. So I have to go soon myself. Anyway, here’s my ‘judgmental asshole’ story.” I told her about the Halloween party, and especially after.
“Sounds like she likes you too,” Sara said.
“She does, but there’s a catch. She’s religious.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Exactly. Catholic.”
“No shit? Did I ever tell you I was raised Catholic?”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yeah. Just outside of Pittsburgh. But anyway… Christy’s Catholic too?
She isn’t a bride-of-Christ type, is she?”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“A nun.”
“Oh. No. Definitely not. But the problem is, she thinks she should be.”
“That’s pretty common. Catholic guilt. I lived with it till I couldn’t stand it anymore.”
“What’d you do?”
“Ran away, as far as I could get, started working the clubs. Some darker stuff too, that I’m not proud of. Then I got my shit together, got the hell out, and made something of myself. Isn’t that what all good Catholic girls do?”
“Um… no. Not this one, at least. Well, not the first part. The last part…?
Not sure yet.”
“It can be tough. I mean, they put a lot of pressure on you.”
“That’s part of the problem. She puts a lot of pressure on herself.”
“What’d she do? Wait, lemme guess. She went to confession the day after she fooled around with you.”
“Give the lady a prize!”
She laughed. “I actually believe it when you say that.”
“What?”
“When you call me a lady.”
“You are,” I said simply. “And one I like more and more as I get to know you.”
“Thanks. That means a lot.” She fell silent for a moment. “I have to go soon. Sorry. But I’m dying to hear what happened with you and Christy.”
“Well, I didn’t react very well when she went to church. I have a bit of a history with religious girls and their sexual hang-ups.”