“Find another job, I guess.”
“Playing?”
He looked at her, surprised. “Why, of course, playing. What else would I do?”
“Then why didn’t you stay with Black?”
“I told you. I was bored.”
“What makes you think you won’t be bored on another band?”
“Well, I won’t know until I try it, will I?”
“You shouldn’t have come home, Andy.”
“That’s a hell of a thing to say,” he said, annoyed.
“I’m glad you’re back, darling. You know that. But... I don’t think it’s good to jump from one band to another.”
“Hell, musicians change their bands as often as they change their underwear.”
“But you should have stuck with it, Andy. Until you were ready for a move.”
“I’m ready now.”
“I hope so.”
“What the hell do you mean by that?”
“I just hope you’re ready, Andy. You did leave a good job, didn’t you? There was no reason—”
“There was a damn good reason,” he snapped.
“If there was, I haven’t heard it yet.”
“I’ve told you six times already. I was bored with the band.”
“Will it be any different on another band?”
“You’ve already asked me that. What is this, anyway, Carol? You certainly don’t act very damn glad to see me.”
“I am, you know that. It’s just—”
“Well, you don’t act it. The way you talk, I could have stayed in Chicago for the rest of my life, and you wouldn’t have given a good goddamn.”
“I’m sorry I gave you that impression.”
“I’m sorry, too. Believe me.”
They fell into a heavy silence.
“There was a good reason for leaving,” he said.
“Yes, I’m sure,” she answered, still not believing him.
“Come on, let’s go home. We’ll make a fresh start tomorrow.”
“All right. If you say so.”
“Well, we’re certainly not getting anyplace tonight, are we?”
“It doesn’t seem so.”
“I don’t know what the hell’s wrong with you, Carol.”
“Nothing.”
“Then why’ve you been giving me the business?”
“Because it was your idea to leave school, and I said no, and now you’ve left what turned out to be a good job, that’s why. Now please take me home because I don’t feel like arguing any more.”
“Sure.”
“Sure,” she repeated.
“You’ll feel better in the morning,” he said.
“I certainly hope so. And maybe you’ll see what a fool you’ve been in the morning.”
“I doubt it.”
They went home in a sullen, uncommunicative mood. On her doorstep he said, “I’ll call you tomorrow, Carol.”
“Yes,” she answered.
“Good night.”
“Good night.”
She went into the house without kissing him, and he stood on the front step for a long time, annoyed with her lack of understanding, and annoyed with his own temper.
He looked at his watch. It was only eleven-fifteen. What the hell kind of time was that to be coming home? Jesus, why couldn’t she understand? Couldn’t anyone ever understand him?
He walked down to Eastern Parkway and stopped in a candy store. He went to the phone booth on impulse, looked up a number, and then dialed it rapidly.
“Hello?” the voice said.
“Helen?”
“Yes.”
“This is Andy.”
“Who?”
“Andy Silvera. You know, Andy...”
“Oh. Oh, yes.” There was a long pause. “What is it, Andy?”
“How are you?”
“Fine. Is... is anything the matter? It’s... it’s not Bud, is it? Nothing’s happened to—”
“No, no, he’s fine.” He heard her catch her breath on the other end of the line.
“Well, how have you been, Andy? I understand you were on the road?”
“Yes. Helen...”
“Yes?”
“You sound like you were sleeping.”
“I was. My parents are away for a few weeks. In Rockaway. I’ve been getting to bed early.”
“Have you?” he asked, his voice thickening.
“Yes. I have.” There was another long silence. “Well,” she said, “it was nice of you to call, Andy.”
“Helen, listen, Helen, I was wondering... can I come over?”
“What?”
“I want to come over.”
“Why?”
“I... I need somebody to talk to. Helen, I... look, about that time...”
“Let’s not bring it up, Andy.”
“Can I come over?”
Helen hesitated. “Now?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not even dressed.”
“Helen, I... I need someone. To... to talk to. I need you.”
He waited anxiously, hating himself for what he was doing, but hating Carol at the same time, and hating the homecoming she’d given him, and the petty questions, and her lack of understanding, hating all of it, and waiting breathlessly for Helen’s reply. He heard her sigh heavily.
“All right,” she said. “I’ll look for you.”
21
change of key, iii
AUGUST, 1945
They dropped the first atomic bomb on August sixth.
Sixty per cent of Hiroshima was obliterated by the blast. Five major industrial plants disappeared completely, and only 2.8 square miles of the city’s total 6.9 square miles remained intact to leer at a puzzled, battered, awe-stricken Oriental population. On August eighth Russia declared war on Japan, and the United States dropped a second atomic bomb on an important shipping and industrial city called Nagasaki, a city which had only been part of an American song before the fiery blast. President Truman warned the Japanese people that the atomic bomb would lead to their utter obliteration unless they surrendered unconditionally — and the world read the headlines and leaned forward expectantly for news from the men in the East.
The Japanese government offered to surrender under an interpretation of the Potsdam surrender ultimatum on August tenth, and then the surrender offer worked its way through the official channels, and on August eleventh President Truman spoke for the Allies, explaining the terms under which the emperor would be allowed to remain on the throne.