I was puzzled.
I went into the drawing-room and there was Amelia with a man whom I immediately recognized. She ran to me and embraced me. She looked younger than I remembered her.
She said: “Oh, Susanna, it is lovely to see you. I have some news for you.”
She held out her hand and Jack St. Clare took it.
“You’re … married?”
Amelia nodded.
“Oh, I am so pleased for you.”
“We have been friends for so long. It seemed foolish to wait.”
“I saw it all coming,” I told her.
“And your letters betrayed it.”
I congratulated them both and I was genuinely pleased. I was so fond of Amelia and she was the sort of woman who needed a husband. I hoped she would have children, successfully this time. But I could not bear to think of children. When I saw them in the Park my misery would overwhelm me . either that or my anger.
I asked if they would care for some refreshment. What about coffee, tea or some wine?
“Not now, thank you,” said Amelia.
“I just called to tell you we were in London.”
“For how long?”
“Only a week. We are staying with my parents.”
“Are they pleased about your marriage?”
“Delighted. I want to come and see you and talk. There’s so much to tell you. Could I come tomorrow? Jack has some business to do.”
“But of course.”
And so it was arranged; and the next day Amelia called and took tea with me.
When we had settled down and v ere alone she said: “I hope you didn’t mind my coming without warning. I know you wanted to get right away entirely but I hoped you didn’t include me in the things you wanted to get away from.”
“I certainly did not.”
“I know you have reverted to your maiden name. I have told Jack about that and he understands perfectly. I shall make sure I call you Miss Pleydell.”
“And Anna … the second part of my name. I want to be quite different.”
“I’ll remember. Sometimes I blame myself for not warning you before you married him. Stephen had an idea that you would save him. He was really very fond of his brother. Stephen wanted the marriage very much after he had met you. He said he knew you’d be strong and stable. But I knew you would have to find out before long.”
“Do you think I could have done anything, as Stephen seems to have thought I could?”
She shook her head.
“Perhaps there was a remote possibility. But I see that after the child’s death you couldn’t stay there.”
I hesitated for a moment too emotional to speak because she had brought back memories of my beautiful child.
“You see,” I stammered, “I left a healthy child and came back and found him … gone.”
“I know. I know.” And she did because she had lost children of her own.
“You see, he started this drug-taking when he was quite a young man. He read those books … and he was fascinated by that man.”
“Dr. Damien?”
“I told Stephen that was what started it, but Stephen wouldn’t have it. The man was a friend of his and Stephen thought the world of him.
He believed in all that working for mankind and so on. I never did.
The nature of the man came out in his books. All that erotica . hinted at. You could realize that he revelled in it. Aubrey met him at the Minster. He was completely bowled over. There is a hypnotic quality about him. It was soon after that meeting that Aubrey was experimenting with drugs. “
“I am sure that man has played a diabolical role in our lives,” I said.
“But one day he will be brought to justice. Believe me.”
There was a pause and then she said: “Susanna … oh no, Anna … I must remember that … what are you going to dor ” Live here until some plan comes to me. “
“It must be difficult, living as an unmarried woman when you have a husband from whom you are living apart.”
“There is no reason why that should affect me. I have taken on this house. My father rented it and now I do. Almost everything he had I have inherited. I am quite comfortable here.”
“You have a pleasant staff… sisters, isn’t it?”
“Yes. They were with my father and they are staying with me. Then there is the coachman and we have another girl now, a seamstress.”
“A seamstress! Do you mean you employ a seamstress permanently?”
“She does other things besides. She came to me in a rather special way.” I told her the story and she was most interested.
“I went into a hospital when I brought her here,” I concluded.
“It was a horrible experience and one I cannot forget. I am just haunted by the memory of all those beds close together and those poor creatures on the point of death … dirty … uncared for. I can’t bear to think of it.” She nodded, and I went on vehemently: “Something has to be done.”
“Well, at least you took the girl away and she has a good home now. By the way, my parents are having a family dinner-party … there will only be us. They want you to come.”
I hesitated.
“They know all about this and they sympathize. There’ll be no need to say anything. You’ll just be Miss Pleydell. You ought to get out now and then. I don’t suppose you do often, do you?”
I shook my head.
“It is the last thing I have wanted to do. I want to be here alone. I am well looked after. Jane and Polly would do anything for me and so would Lily Craddock and Joe the coachman.”
“It will be different coming to us. Do come.”
I still hesitated, but as she was persistent I said I would.
There was great pleasure in the household when they heard I was going to a dinner-party. I was sure that in the kitchen they had decided it would be good for me.
Lily said it would be an occasion for me to wear the green velvet dress she had made. She had added the post of lady’s maid to her duties and I had to admit that she filled it well. She had natural good taste and her attitude to me was one of almost adoration which I found a little embarrassing and not really deserved.
Joe, too, was delighted as he drove me in the carriage to the residence of Sir Harry and Lady Carberry close to the Park.
“That’s what carriages is for,” he commented complacently.
I was far less eager than the rest of them, even though my host and hostess would know my story and there was no fear of an embarrassing exposure; but all the same it did bring back to my memory times which I was trying to forget.
I was greeted warmly by Amelia and her husband and parents.
“We are not quite alone,” said Lady Carberry.
“Henrietta and her fiance called this morning and Mama asked them to dinner,” said Amelia apologetically.
“I believe you have met Henrietta.”
She was coming towards me. I remembered her well. She was the vividly attractive girl I had met at the Minster before my marriage.
“The Honourable Henrietta Marlington and her fiance. Lord Cariton,” said Lady Carberry.
I was surprised by the fiance. He was not quite as tall as Henrietta, who was almost as tall as I was, and he must have been about twenty years older than she was. There were pouches under his eyes. I was disappointed in the vibrant Henrietta’s choice.
“Miss Anna Pleydell,” said Amelia, introducing me.
“Oh … we’ve met before.” Henrietta was opening her sparkling eyes very wide.
“I thought…”
“Miss Pleydell lives in London now,” said Amelia firmly.
“She is in the house her father took when he came back from India. It is very convenient.”
The Honourable Henrietta looked as though she were about to pursue the subject of our meeting before and I guessed she was remembering me as Aubrey’s fiancee and was wondering what had happened. It struck me that she was an impulsive person who did not pause to consider before she spoke. But somehow Amelia had managed to convey that questions were not to be asked. I knew she was thinking how unfortunate it was that Henrietta was a fellow guest.