“I’ve had it since I was a kid.” Kimber stifled a yawn. “My mom sent the VHS in a care package along with money-some of which I had to use to buy a VHS player.”
“We need to turn this off. There are too many frog puppets running around. It’s weirding me out.”
Kimber shrugged and curled up on the couch, fetus style, unable to muster the energy to care as Jay stopped the tape. Although he’d been the one to suggest a movie-and-McDonald’s night last week and insisted on not canceling, he’d been antsy all evening, like he couldn’t wait for it to be over, and he couldn’t stop complaining. There’d been too much pepper on his burger. Traffic was too traffic-y. There was nothing good to watch. Now there were too many frogs. Nothing seemed to satisfy him.
Not that she could blame him. The whole night had a strange vibe to it, like something was about to happen. Whatever that something was, it needed to happen before she ground her teeth into powder with frustration. In the meantime, it was excruciating trying to put the polish on the dull silver living.
Jay glanced at her, and in that moment, she realized she hadn’t seen him smile all night. He looked away with a heavy exhale and studied her DVDs, still in the orange milk crates. “What a bunch of no-fun nuns we are.”
“Yeah.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Maybe we should just call it a night. It’s clear we got a lot on our minds.”
Jay didn’t respond, and Kimber idly noted he didn’t ask for details like he normally would. Then again, she probably wouldn’t ask for details if she were him either. She was sick of her own problems, which had been self-inflicted from the start. Everyone had warned her, but she let herself get swept away by someone who finally seemed to care about her after so long of the opposite with Dane.
Dane-now that was a whole other story. Her interest in him now was so slight she felt like she’d imagined their entire relationship. It happened another lifetime ago to someone else. She’d no idea why she’d agreed to see him tomorrow. What was the point?
She hadn’t yet told Jay that Dane had come to see her, let alone that she’d agreed to go out with him. For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She just knew he wouldn’t approve-and had the nagging feeling if she couldn’t admit to her best friend that she was getting together with an ex who bored her, it probably wasn’t a good idea. However, she wasn’t known for her good ideas, as recent events had taught her.
Jay remained quiet, and Kimber was suddenly struck by the realization that maybe his silence had nothing to do with her. Maybe he was going through something as equally miserable as she was, although probably less depraved. The possibility added a side order of guilt to her mood. She’d tried to get him to tell her what was going on with him earlier but he’d refused, and she knew she should’ve tried harder. Now she was not only a fool, but a bad friend.
“Hey.” She sat up and tossed a pillow at him. “A quarter for your sad, crabby thoughts.”
He arched a brow. “Not a penny?”
“Inflation. Times are hard. Now what’s your deal?”
Jay heaved another sigh, staring at his feet. “What, I don’t want to watch frog marionettes jump around so I have to talk about my feelings?”
She threw her hands up in the air, frustrated, inexplicably anxious, and at a loss for what to do regarding his demeanor. “Fine, then I don’t know what to tell you. I’m out of ideas.” She stretched out on the futon and crossed her arms over her chest. “I guess we’ll just sit here in silence and hate life.”
A few minutes of quiet did follow, the only sounds being their breathing and Pepperoni scratching at the rug then jumping on the kitchen counter with a chirp. Finally, Jay spoke. “You first.”
“Are you sure? It’s just more of the same old crap.”
He nodded. “I wanna hear it.”
Kimber told him the abridged version of how she’d met her stranger at the hotel and they’d spent all night making love and everything had seemed possible-until she woke up alone with a note that put an end to all that. “So that’s my closure, my unequivocal sign, I guess. I went there, hoping for that.” She sighed. “Who am I kidding? I went there for every reason but closure.”
“Yeah, but why?” Jay still stared at his feet, nudging the bass drum coffee table with the tip of his sneaker. “I don’t get why you’re so into a guy you never even saw.”
“I know. I try to rationalize it, but I can’t. This is going to sound weird, but he gave me so much hope.”
“Of course he did. He came on the heels of a bad relationship. Anyone would’ve done the trick.”
“That’s not true.”
“How do you know?”
“I could tell by the way he touched me.”
Jay finally looked at her, his jaw twitching like he was trying to formulate a question but didn’t know how to go about it. “How?”
“How what?”
“How did he touch you?”
“Like I was the most important girl in the whole world. Like he couldn’t get enough of me.”
“No.” There was a dark, indescribable look in his eyes that sent a shiver up her spine. “What did he do?”
Her eyebrows rose. “You’re asking for serious details.”
He nodded, his mouth tight.
Kimber blushed. “Why do you want to know?”
“Because.” His expression remained unreadable. “It’s the most fascinating thing in the world.”
Her skin prickled as the atmosphere in the room changed. “Yeah, why?” she asked, keeping her tone light, the mood familiar. “Meet someone special and need tips on your technique?”
“Let’s just say it’s a weird situation.”
A flicker of unexpected jealousy sparked inside her at the thought of Jay doing any form of sexual calisthenics with some random girl. She didn’t like the idea of sharing him, even though her feelings toward him were platonic. Was he torn up over some girl and that’s why he was so upset? If so, Kimber couldn’t stand her already, judging by the agonized expression on his face.
“Bleh.” She rubbed her temples. “We should’ve gone out and gotten wasted tonight. I know I could use a drink. First all this, then I have to deal with Dane tomorrow night.”
“Dane?” Jay’s features contorted with confusion and suspicion.
She hadn’t wanted to tell him yet, but why stop with the confessions now? “Yeah, he wandered up to the bar today and was all, woe is me, life sucks without you. I dunno, I just felt sorry for him, so we’re meeting for drinks tomorrow.”
Jay’s expression hardened. “You two are hanging out? Are you fucking kidding me? After all this?”
Kimber’s mouth dropped open as he pushed to his feet and paced the length of the room like a restless lion in a cage. It was no secret that, despite having introduced him to Kimber, Jay never really cared for Dane and liked them as a couple even less, but she’d never seen him so angry about it. “Chill, it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything.”
“It’s actually quite a big deal, Kimber. I’ve had to deal with hearing about that douchebag making you cry and disappointing you for years now, and just when I think we’ll finally stop talking about what a fucking moron he is, I hear you two are going on a date-probably your first ever with him, if I recall his protocol correctly.”
“Whoa. Will you calm down?” Kimber’s heart hammered against her ribs. She couldn’t believe the stark fury and intensity of his words. “I’m not even into him anymore.”
“Bullshit. Why else would you be going out with him? Obviously you still feel something for him. What isn’t obvious is why. And after all this time apart from him, you’d think you’d know better, but be honest. All it’ll take is a few of his empty promises and you two will be together again. Then the shit will start back up and I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“None of this is in any way true,” Kimber spluttered. “Things are different now.”