She sank to the floor, wrapped her arms around her bent legs, and rested her forehead on her knees. No sooner had she done so than a knock sounded on the door, and the knob rattled.
"Julianne…please open the door." Gideon's low, quiet voice drenched her eyes with a fresh supply of tears.
"I… need to be alone. Just for a little while."
"I heard what happened. I know you're upset. Open the door. Please."
She shook her head, then realized he couldn't see her. "Just a few minutes to myself."
He was silent for several seconds. "Will you at least go into the blue bedchamber?"
She lifted her head and realized that out of habit she'd entered her own bedchamber, the one Gideon was using. "The windows are locked. No one can get in through the balcony."
Another silence, then, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Yes. You can leave me alone for a little while."
She heard him sigh. Imagined him raking his hands through his hair. "All right. For a little while. Caesar will be right outside the door while I arrange for some tea to be brought up for you."
"Thank you," she murmured.
"And then you will need to open the door."
She heard his muffled footfalls against the carpet as he walked away, then silence. After several moments her silent sobs tapered off, and her shaking ceased, leaving behind exhaustion and a sense of calm finality. Everything was settled. No more wishes. No more dreams. She knew what she had to do.
She rose to her feet and crossed the room with slow, deliberate steps. From the corner of her eye she noticed Gideon's hairbrush and comb on her dresser, but rather than detouring to run her fingers over them, she continued toward her destination.
She knew what she had to do.
Gideon handed a hastily scribbled sealed note to Winslow. "How quickly can that be delivered? It is of the utmost importance."
Winslow glanced at the direction written on the note. "Within the quarter hour."
"Can the messenger wait for a reply?"
"Yes, Mr. Mayne."
Gideon nodded his thanks then headed toward the kitchen to arrange for tea for Julianne. Julianne… who right this minute he knew was crying, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Bloody hell, it was enough to make a man go mad. If she didn't open the door when he went back upstairs, he might have to consider breaching the lock. To ascertain for himself that she was all right.
He waited while Mrs. Linquist put the tea tray together. When she finished, he insisted on taking it up himself. As he entered the foyer, Winslow handed him a note. "Your reply, Mr. Mayne."
Gideon read the brief message, and a sense of relief washed through him. "Thank you, Winslow."
He continued on to Julianne's bedchamber. Caesar sat like a sentinel outside the door and gave a quiet woof as Gideon approached. He knocked on the door and said, "Your tea has arrived. May I come in?"
When he received no answer, he knocked louder. "Julianne? Can you hear me?"
Silence. A sick feeling tightened his stomach. He quickly set down the tea tray and turned the knob. Still locked. "Julianne. Answer me." He could hear the edge of fear in the sharply spoken words.
He rattled the knob again. "Julianne, can you hear me?"
When he received no reply, he took several steps back then ran forward, putting all his weight into ramming the door with his shoulder. The panel gave way with a splintering crack, and Gideon dashed into the room.
His frantic gaze swept the chamber, jerking to a halt at the sight of Julianne on the floor in front of the fire. He reached her side in three strides and crouched down beside her. She sat with one arm wrapped around her upraised knees. With her free hand she fed a piece of paper into the hungry flames. Silent tears dripped down her face, and she softly hummed a tune he recognized as "Dreams of You."
He was so damn relieved to find her unharmed that for several seconds he couldn't even speak. He reached out an unsteady hand and lightly touched her shoulder. Julianne?"
She slowly turned her head toward him. The emptiness in her eyes made his heart hurt. "I knew you'd come for me," she whispered.
He nodded to give himself a few seconds to collect himself. His gaze shifted, and he stilled at the sight of the open box beside her. Her Box of Wishes and Dreams. At least half the contents was gone. He looked at the dancing flames consuming the paper she'd fed them, and his heart felt as if it were bleeding. "Julianne… sweetheart, what are you doing?"
"They're gone."
"What are gone?"
Her bottom lip trembled, and a tear slid down her pale cheek. "Wishes and dreams. All gone."
Bloody hell. This was killing him. She was killing him. Feeling utterly helpless, he brushed back a loose curl from her cheek. Then he reached out and slowly closed the box. Picked it up and returned it to the wardrobe.
He returned to her, crouching beside her, not certain what to say or do. He slipped his handkerchief from his pocket and pressed the linen square into her cold hand. Footsteps sounded in the corridor. He looked over his shoulder at Lady Langston, who was walking across the room, her eyes troubled. Turning back to Julianne, he said, "Lady Langston is here to see you."
Julianne blinked then frowned. "She is? Sarah is here?"
"Right here," Lady Langston said, coming forward. She lowered herself to the hearth rug on Julianne's other side, managing the feat so gracefully one could easily forget she was expecting. She took Julianne's hand and held it between both of hers.
Julianne's eyes flooded with tears. "How is it that you happen to be here just when I need you the most?"
Lady Langston smiled and took the handkerchief to dab at Julianne's tears. "Mr. Mayne sent me a note relaying that you needed a friend. So here I am."
Gideon could tell she hadn't delayed a moment in getting here. Her hair was disheveled, and her hands bore telltale charcoal stains. She'd obviously been sketching.
Julianne gave a huge sniffle. "That was very nice of him."
Lady Langston smiled at him over Julianne's head. "I believe he is a very nice man. And clearly very worried about you. As am I. Mr. Mayne carried up a lovely tea tray. Why don't you and I have a cup and talk?"
Julianne nodded. "All right." She turned to Gideon. "Thank you. For giving me my time alone. And for bringing Sarah to me."
Bloody hell, it was all he could do not to drag her into his arms. Hold her tight. Kiss away every tear. As it was, he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and brushing at the moisture beneath her eyes. He wanted to scold her for frightening him, but he didn't have the heart. He wanted to tell her he loved her and that the thought of her marrying Eastling was as much an anathema to him as it was to her. But since he couldn't say that, he merely said, "You're welcome." And then he stopped touching her. While he still had the strength to do so.
He rose and made his way to the corridor, where he picked up the tea tray. When he returned, Lady Langston was standing. "Set it right there on the hearth rug, if you please, Mr. Mayne," she said. "We'll enjoy our tea there, like an indoor picnic." After he did so, she clasped his hand between both of hers. "Thank you for sending for me."
"I'm glad you were able to come." He glanced down at Julianne, then raked his free hand through his hair. "I knew she needed someone."
"You're very perceptive. And I can see, very concerned. But please don't be. I'll take good care of her."
He nodded. "Caesar will remain outside the door."
She released his hand and pushed up her glasses. "What's left of the door. You broke it down?"
"When she didn't answer…" His voice trailed off, and he shrugged.
"How is your shoulder?"
"Fine. Much better than the door. While you're enjoying your tea, I'll see about arranging repairs."