She tipped her head back and finished another shot.
"I can't believe you don't hate me right now," she said.
"Why would I ever hate you?"
"Because I basically used you for sex and then never spoke to you again," she explained.
"Honey, where I come from, that's like Christmas to a guy," I said with a laugh, trying to lighten her mood. "I should be the one apologizing to you." I reached out with my hand and turned her face towards me.
God she was so beautiful. And I was a complete dick for wanting to take advantage of her being a little tipsy. But fuck, I needed to kiss her. I waited five years to taste her again. She tilted her head so that she could rub her cheek against the palm of my hand, and I almost forgot what I had been trying to say to her.
"Granted, we were both pretty out of it that night, but if I would have ever known that you had never…that you…that I was your first, I would have done things a hell of a lot differently," I admitted.
Like stare at your naked body and memorize every inch of it, swirl my tongue around your nipples and suck them into my mouth until you moaned my name. I'd taste your skin and burry my face between your legs and make you come so hard you'd forget your name.
"Holy fuck," she whispered with a glazed look in her eyes.
I just said all of that out loud didn't I?
She sat there staring at me with her mouth open, and I worried that I royally fucked up. It was too soon for me to talk about her vagina and how much I wanted to become BFF's with it. Sure, I spent the past five years glorifying every single thing I could remember about her, and I worried over the past week that maybe my memories were better than reality, but that was just stupid. She was just as amazing sitting here in front of me as she was in my dreams, and I needed her to know that. I opened my mouth but before I could get the words out, she jumped down off of the stool, mumbling something about stocking beer in the cooler in the back. She brushed past me and I was left sitting on my stool with a bottle of vodka and the smell of chocolate lingering in the air.
***
Oh my God. Oh holy fucking shit.
I was such a fucking coward. I ran away from him as fast as I could and now I was in the storage room pretending to stock beer.
I'd taste your skin and burry my face between your legs and make you come so hard you'd forget your name.
Jesus Christ on a cracker. I had no experience with this shit. I wanted to hump his leg as soon as those words left his mouth. He clearly didn't mean to say them out loud going by the shocked expression on his face.
"Shit!" I muttered loudly, punching an empty case of beer.
Except it wasn't empty and my fist connected with full cans of beer.
"Son of a bitchfuck!" I cursed while I shook my bruised hand, kicking my foot out and connecting with a bottle of tequila that went rolling across the floor.
"I hope this alcohol abuse isn't because of something I said."
I turned around to find Carter lounging against the door frame. Why does he always have to witness my mortifying stupidity?
"I mean really, what has that bottle of tequila ever done to you?" he asked as he started to walk towards me.
"You mean aside from impairing my judgment so that I lost my virginity to some really hot guy I met at a frat party, got knocked-up and never got the guy's name because I am a complete and total bitch and now that he’s here I feel like I am so out of my league whenever he’s around because I have zero experience with this shit?" I rambled.
Carter stopped right in front of me and gave me a crooked grin.
“You think I’m hot?”
I rolled my eyes at his attempt to lighten the mood and completely gloss over my nervous admission.
"You know, you're absolutely right. That tequila is a real asshole. Go ahead and kick the shit out of it. You might as well finish off the beer, too. I saw him looking at you funny."
I laughed at the ridiculousness of this conversation. I wasn’t drunk but I was pleasantly buzzed enough from our earlier game of Truth or Truth to be able to see the humor in this situation. When I stopped laughing, he reached out and brushed a piece of hair off of my cheek that had escaped my pony tail and it reminded me so much of the night we met that I let out a small sigh.
"Let's get something straight here. You are not a bitch. I don't blame you for anything that you did. I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't totally suck ass to wake up the next morning and not have you there with me and then spend five years wondering if I had imagined you. But I would never think you were a bitch for doing what you did," he said as he inched closer. "I wasn't lying before when I said I would have done things very different with you that night," he said softly as he moved so close to me that our chest and thighs were touching. I swallowed roughly as he brought his hand up and rested it on my hip.
"I would have kissed you more," he said, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth.
"I would have held your body up against mine longer so I could feel every inch of you," he whispered against my cheek as he wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me up tighter against him.
His hand that rested on my hip slid up the side of my body. It grazed up my ribs and brushed against the side of my breast until his palm was flat over my heart.
"I would have touched you everywhere and took the time to feel your heart beat against my hand."
I licked my lips and tried to control my breathing. God, I loved the way he smelled, the way he spoke and his hands on me. How had I lived so long without these things?
“Most of all, I would never have taken even one sip of alcohol that night so that every single moment with you would have been etched into my brain and the memory of how your skin felt against my hands would be clear as a bell.”
I was certain he could hear the pounding of my heart echoing through the room. I knew he could feel how fast it was beating with each word he spoke.
"Fuck, Claire," he muttered. "Just being close to you drives me crazy."
He bent his knees slightly and then pushed up against me so I could feel exactly what he was talking about. Both my hands flew to his shoulders in an effort to hold on and pull him closer. My one leg automatically lifted to wrap around his waist and bring him closer to me. His lips ghosted over my neck, and I was pretty sure I moaned. When he was back by my ear he whispered, "If this is too much, too soon, just tell me to stop and I will."
Was it too soon? Was I acting like a complete slut right now rubbing myself all over him? I was a mother for fuck's sake.
A mother that had never been laid properly and was horny as fuck.
"If you stop, I will straight up murder your ass," I whispered as his lips found their way to mine and connected.
No sooner had our mouths collided when I felt his tongue gently push its way past my lips. I slid my tongue against his, and he moaned into my mouth, pushing his hips into me harder. I was tingling all over like in some cheesy romance novel. My breasts were heaving and my loins were quivering.
I HAD QUIVERING LOINS!
I felt like I was going to explode if he didn't touch me. I wanted him to touch me so much it almost hurt. I am so not good at dirty talk. Just the thought of saying "touch my *ack* pussy" made me want to cringe. I could try "let your fingers do the walking". Or maybe "put your digits in my divot."