Brenna turned off the coastal road and headed back for the hacienda. She had to blink against the burning in her eyes as she recalled Nic leaving to go back to college. She’d done her best to be brave. He’d been so sensible, promising that he would love her but saying he wasn’t going to tie her down. He wanted her to enjoy her senior year of high school.
She’d known what he’d meant. She’d been free to date other guys, none of whom had interested her. How could they? She was in love with Nic.
The year had crawled by. They’d managed to steal a few hours together over Christmas, but nothing after that. He’d been working and unable to get away more. Brenna had been so afraid he wouldn’t still love her come the summer. They’d met out in the vineyards, at a prearranged time. She’d practiced acting casual in case he told her he didn’t love her anymore.
They’d taken one look at each other and they’d known. It was as if the time apart had been seconds instead of months. Looking at Nic was like falling into the sun. Their reunion had been one of her life’s perfect moments.
There had been so many. Nights and mornings. Conversations, quiet times, laughter, and even tears. There had never been anyone like him for her. Jeff had never come close.
Brenna pulled under the arch at the entrance to the Marcelli lands. Her grip tightened on the steering wheel. She could still see the diamond ring he’d slid onto her finger.
Marriage and children. She could have had that with Nic. She could have had it all. Brenna thought about Kelly, Francesca’s soon-to-be stepdaughter. If she’d accepted Nic’s proposal, she would have children of her own now. They would be a family. Instead she’d married Jeff.
She parked her car and slowly climbed out. Her body ached, as if she’d just fallen down a mountain. It was always that way when she allowed herself to revisit the past for too long. Regrets, what-if s, could-have-been s. They flung sharp weapons that cut her heart and burned her soul.
Ten years ago she’d made the safe and easy choice, and she’d been paying for it ever since. She’d walked away from her heart’s desire because she’d been afraid of what it would cost. Never again. That was why she’d wanted to start the winery-to prove to herself that she’d learned her lesson. Nothing was ever going to stand in the way of her dreams again.
A nice sentiment, but it had little to do with the problem at hand. Had Nic been serious about accompanying her to the party? And if so, was she going to invite him?
Maggie tore off the crust from the sandwich she hadn’t finished and tossed it to Max. The puppy caught it in midair and swallowed without chewing.
“You’re going to make him fat,” Nic warned.
“I know, but I can’t resist his big brown eyes. He’s so sweet.”
“He needs to learn table manners.”
Maggie wrinkled her nose at him. “You’re too strict. You need to lighten up.”
“What happens when Max is ninety pounds of begging dog?”
She laughed. “I guess we eat indoors and keep him out.”
Nic sipped his iced tea. “I can see I don’t want you around when he starts his obedience classes. You would never insist he behave.”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t. I guess it’s something of a surprise that my daughter is somewhat civilized, huh?”
“I think we have your husband to thank for that.”
She picked up another bread crust, but this one she tossed at Nic. “You’re insulting me.”
“Only a little.”
Maggie sighed, then picked up her pen. “Okay. Back to business. We’ve been over the expansion, the new equipment on order, and the Far East deal. Oh, Jeremy wanted to talk about the bottling equipment. I told him to make an appointment with you.”
“Not a problem.”
While Maggie made more notes, Nic let his attention wander to the vineyards in the distance and the clusters of grapes ripening in the bright sun.
Today was a good day. Rather than have their meeting inside, Maggie had suggested lunch on the lawn. A table had been set up in the shade, and the lunch-room catering staff had provided the food.
The sun was warm, the sky clear. It was the kind of afternoon that made him want to take off on one of his bikes. Except he’d done that yesterday and he’d ended up somewhere he never should have been.
At the time driving by Brenna’s newly acquired acres had seemed like a good idea, but later…he’d regretted the impulse.
Or maybe he just regretted mentioning the party.
He’d offered to be her date as a joke. At least, that’s how it had started. But as soon as he spoke the words, something had shifted inside of him. He could rationalize the slight tightening in his chest and stiffness in his legs by saying he remembered being that twenty-year-old kid who’d been desperately in love with a girl whose family hated him. But he had a feeling his reaction was about more than that.
“Earth to Nic,” Maggie said, waving a hand in front of his face. “Where did you go?”
“Back about ten years.”
She studied him. “About the time your grandfather sent you away?”
He nodded.
“I always felt bad about that.”
He chuckled. “You weren’t here when it happened and you didn’t have anything to do with it. How could you feel bad?”
“I just did. When you came back from France, I could tell you’d been hurt even though you never talked about what had happened between you two.” She sighed. “You were family. Emilio had no right to send you away.”
“According to him he had every right.”
“He was wrong.”
“Maybe.”
His grandfather had asked him to choose and Nic had. Unfortunately he’d chosen Brenna instead of Wild Sea, and the old man had never forgiven him for that. Nic had been equally furious about being kicked off the property. The fact that his grandfather had come back eighteen months later, begging him to return hadn’t been enough.
He thought about that difficult first year when he’d finally come home. Maggie had been there for him. “You got me through some tough times. You were good to me.”
She shrugged. “I wasn’t doing anything I didn’t want to do.”
“Was I good for you?”
Her smile turned tender. “More than you’ll ever know. You made me feel special. For the first time in my life I wasn’t a tall, gawky carrot-top with freckles. You thought I was beautiful and I could almost see myself that way. You gave me confidence.”
“To go out and marry someone else.”
She laughed. “Come on, Nic, you weren’t really hurt when I broke up with you. Admit it.”
He shrugged, not willing to concede the point, even if she was right. “If I was so great, why did you end things?”
She hesitated, as if not willing to tell him the truth.
He leaned toward her. “I’d like to know.”
“It’s embarrassing.” She smiled wryly. “But if you insist. The reason I ended things was I knew you’d never fall in love with me, and I didn’t want to fall in love with you. I’d already had enough heartache in my life. So I broke it off while I still could.”
Love? Nic had never known, never guessed things were that serious for her. He studied her green eyes and wondered if he’d inadvertently hurt her all those years ago.
“So I got you all primed, and then your husband came along and plucked you like a ripe peach.”
“Absolutely.” She grinned and whatever shadows had drifted into her eyes faded away. “Besides, I wanted to get married and you weren’t interested in anything permanent. You still aren’t.” She pointed a finger at him. “At some point you have to be willing to give your heart and take a chance. Do you really want to die old and alone?”
“Are those my only options? I took your advice and got a dog. That should count for something.”
“Not enough. What about letting people in your life?”
Nic understood the theory, but didn’t get the point. Everyone he’d ever cared about had walked away from him. As far as he could tell, the love thing wasn’t working in his world.