Sejanus

'Oh, how very astute! Isn't he, Lamprus?' Felix looked positively delighted, and the man-mountain grunted again. 'I did wonder if you'd picked that up. Yes, it was intentional. It didn't achieve its purpose, of course, but since you approached the problem from a different direction and solved it in your own inimitable fashion that doesn't much matter.'

'You care to explain just exactly what that purpose was, then? Just for the record.'

'Oh, I don't think I could take that on myself, sir, could I, Lamprus?' Grunt. 'But then I'm sure the master will tell you in a moment if you ask him.'

Jupiter! 'Uh…the master? He's here?'

'Yes, sir.' He stood up and looked towards the living-room door which opened on to the empty lobby. What I'd assumed was the empty lobby. Then he said, in a louder voice: 'We're ready for you now, sire.'

30

I was standing myself as he came in. If I'd known I'd be entertaining royalty I would've put on a mantle and got Meton to lay on cakes. Bathyllus would kick himself when he found he'd slept through this; a visit from a genuine Caesar would've satisfied the little snob's society cravings for the next five years.

'Valerius Corvinus!' The emperor's grandson strode across the room with his hand outstretched. 'How very lovely to meet you! I'm sorry about the unorthodox circumstances, but I thought I'd come and thank you personally.'

'Uh…sure,' I said. 'Don't mention it.' Not the most original of lines, but what can you expect under the circumstances?

Not a good-looking young man, Gaius Caesar. In fact he reminded me of a tall balding goat: hairy in all the wrong places with a face like he'd been sat on hard as a baby. He was beaming as he shook my hand.

'What a beautiful lobby you have,' he said. 'Most…ah…lobby-like.'

'Yeah. Yeah, it's okay.' I remembered, right at the last moment, to close my mouth when I'd finished using it. 'Would you care to sit down?'

'Thank you.' He threw himself into the other chair. 'Is that wine over there by any chance?'

'Sure.' I reached for the jug, but Felix beat me to it.

'Allow me, sir,' he said, and poured. The perfect butler. Eat your heart out, Bathyllus! I thought.

Gaius lifted the cup. 'Thanks, ah…'

'Felix, sire.'

'Of course. Felix.' He turned to me. 'What do you think of my two spies, by the way, Corvinus?'

'I'm impressed.' I looked at Felix. He smirked.

Gaius was nodding. 'They do a good job,' he said. 'Mind you we had a terrible time dragging…Lamprus, isn't it?' He gave Felix an enquiring glance and got a nod in return. 'Dragging Lamprus away from his damned library and persuading him to help. These academics are such stick-in-the-muds, aren't they? And once they decide to write a treatise they simply will not take a holiday!'

'Ah…treatise?' I looked at the man-mountain in sudden horror.

'You mean you didn't know? He didn't tell you?' Gaius was grinning. 'Oh, how simply marvellous! What was its title again, Lamprus?'

'"On the Concept of Being and Non-Being as expressed by the Milesian Philosophers", sire,' Lamprus said. 'And I don't happen to like holidays all that much.'

I goggled at him. 'Being and Non-Being?' I said.

'To on kai to mé on, if you want the Greek, sir.' The mound of hair and muscle chuckled into its beard. 'I'm afraid I was playing a joke on you, even if it did serve as a little practical experiment as well. Very childish, of course, but I couldn't resist it. You have my apologies.'

'That’s okay.' I sat down and poured myself a cup of wine. 'Forget it.' Jupiter! They certainly made a pair, these two. Whoever the hell they really were.

Gaius was swinging his leg over the chair-arm, perfectly at ease. 'Now we've got that cleared up,' he said, 'perhaps we'd best get down to business. I really am grateful to you. Terribly grateful.'

'From the sound of it you were doing okay on your own, sir.' I took a deep swallow. Maybe things would seem more normal if I was drunk.

He smiled. 'Oh, we weren't doing too badly. We knew Sejanus was hatching a plot, of course, but we didn't know the precise details because we started at the other end and found ourselves up against a blank wall.' He took a swallow of his own wine. 'Mmm! This Setinian is rather good. Much better than Grandma Antonia's.'

'Help yourself.' I indicated the jug. 'A blank wall?'

'Our sources told us that Sejanus had co-opted a slimy little ex-city judge called Paconianus and his friend Latiaris to destroy me with Grampa Tiberius, but that was as far as we could get. The pair have been so careful over the arrangements you wouldn't believe! Very frustrating!'

Latiaris. Now that name rang a bell. Felix was looking at me, an expectant smile on his face. Who the hell was…?

Of course! 'Latiaris was one of the four who set up Titius Sabinus!' I said.

'Quite right, sir!' Felix beamed at me like I was a performing monkey who'd finally managed to perform. 'Oh, well done! I knew you'd get there eventually. You see my reasons for mentioning the name now?'

'Sure.' Gods, what an idiot! I'd taken it from the wrong end myself. Felix hadn't been pointing me at Sabinus per se after all, he'd wanted me to think about the prosecutors. And I hadn't, because like the accusers in all the trials they'd simply been 'friends of Sejanus'. 'Next time just draw me a picture, pal. That way something might get through.'

'Actually, it was quite lucky you didn't solve Felix's little clue,' Gaius said. 'As I say, Paconianus and Latiaris were being terribly careful. You might have traced a link between them and Servaeus, but I doubt it. Instead working from the other end you've given us all the information we didn't have. Not only about the precise nature of the plot but also the name of the assassin and the date. Personally I think that's first-rate, my dear, and so much better than just finding mouldy old Paconianus.'

'There's more good news,' I said. 'You needn't worry about Silanus any longer. The guy's bowing out.'

Gaius's interest sharpened. 'You're sure about that?' he said.

'Yeah.' I told him about our interview.

'So Silanus thought he was doing it for me?' The prince frowned. 'A dreadfully stupid man, isn't he? And a positive danger.' He and Felix exchanged glances. Lamprus had glazed over; probably he'd decided the conversation wasn't stretching enough and had gone back to solving the problem of human existence.

Something touched the hairs on the back of my neck. 'Appius Silanus is no intellectual giant, sure,' I said carefully. 'But his heart is in the right place. And he knows better now.'

'Yes, that's true.' The smile was back. 'Perhaps you're right, Corvinus. I'll think about it. The date, by the way, is interesting.'

'Yeah?' I took a swallow of wine. 'How's that?'

'You know that I've been living in poor but honest obscurity with my grandmother since the old empress died?' I nodded. 'Well, Sejanus has been dropping hints that I might be invited to Capri shortly, and on a permanent basis.'

'Uh huh.' He was right, that was interesting. 'Did he give a reason?'

'Oh, yes.' Gaius threw an arm over the back of his chair. 'He said that Grampa Tiberius felt he should have his beloved family around him in his declining years. Such of them as he'd left alive and at liberty, at least. And that I'd be much more…comfortable was the word he used, on Capri than at Rome. For which, of course, read isolated from my treasonous friends and wellwishers.'

'So the plan was that you arrive on Capri, closely followed by Silanus with his poison-pen letter. He tries to stab the Wart and then says he did it all for you.' I nodded. 'Yeah. That fits in nicely.'

'It does. Sejanus would have me bang to rights, as I believe they say. Caught' — Gaius gave a shudder — 'in fragrante delicto, and ripe for the plucking. Nasty but neat. Oh, dear, the man really is such a clever bastard, isn't he?'