IRRESISTIBLE INCARNATION
Sometimes when I see someone whom I have never seen before, and I observe that person at length, I begin to identify with her and take steps to get to know that person. And this intrusion into another person’s life, no matter who she may be, never ends in self-accusation. Once I have identified with the other woman, I understand her motives and forgive her. Needless to say, I have to be careful not to be drawn into some dangerous or glamorous existence which might dissuade me from reverting to being myself.
One day on a plane… Oh, dear God, I implored, I beg of You, anything but that; I have no desire to be a missionary!
But it was hopeless. I knew that after having to spend three hours in her presence, I would become a missionary myself for several days. The missionary’s austerity and polite gestures had already taken possession of me. And it is always with a certain curiosity, a sense of wonder and weariness that I finally succumb to the life I am about to experience for several days. There is also some apprehension from a practical point of view: I am much too preoccupied with my work and leisure to be able to cope with the additional burden of some strange new existence whose evangelical zeal is already weighing upon me. In the plane itself I noticed that I had already started imitating the solemn movements of the lay missionary: then I began to understand her patience, that self-effacing gait, her feet scarcely touching the ground, as if to tread more firmly would disturb the other passengers. I, too, had turned pale, my lips unpainted, my expression meek, and wearing the unmistakable head-dress of a lay missionary.