SONYA. If she only knew what, Uncle?
VOYNITSKY. My heart is bursting. It's awful. No matter, though. I must go. [He goes out.]
SONYA. [Knocks at the door] Dr. Astrov! Are you awake? Please come here for a minute.
ASTROV. [Behind the door] In a moment.
He appears after a short delay. He has put on his tie and waistcoat.
ASTROV. What do you want?
SONYA. Drink as much as you want to, if you don't find it revolting, but I implore you not to let my uncle do it. It's bad for him.
ASTROV. Very well; we won't drink any more. [A pause] I'm going home at once. It's all settled. It'll be dawn by the time the horses are harnessed.
SONYA. It's still raining; wait till morning.
ASTROV. The storm's blowing over. This is only the edge of it. I must go. And please don't ask me to come and see your father any more. I tell him he has gout, and he says it is rheumatism. I tell him to lie down, and he sits up. Today he refused to see me at all.
SONYA. He has been spoilt. [She looks in the sideboard] Won't you have a bite to eat?
ASTROV. Yes, please. I believe I will.
SONYA. I love to eat at night. I'm sure we shall find something in here. They say that he has made a great many conquests in his life, and that the women have spoiled him. Here's some cheese for you.
[They stand eating by the sideboard.]
ASTROV. I haven't eaten anything today. I've just been drinking. Your father has a very difficult nature. [He takes a bottle out of the sideboard] May I? [He pours himself a glass of vodka and drinks] We're alone here, and I can speak frankly. Do you know, I couldn't stand living in this house for even a month? This atmosphere would stifle me. There's your father, entirely absorbed in his books, and his gout; there's your Uncle Vanya with his depression, your grandmother, and finally, your step-mother --
SONYA. What about her?
ASTROV. A human being should be beautiful in every way: the face, the clothes, the mind, the thoughts. Your step-mother is, of course, beautiful to look at, but don't you see? She does nothing but sleep and eat and walk and bewitch us, and that's all. She has no responsibilities, everything is done for her -- am I not right? There's no integrity in an idle life. [A pause] However, I may be judging her too severely. Like your Uncle Vanya, I'm discontented, and so we're both grumblers.
SONYA. Aren't you satisfied with life, then?
ASTROV. I like life in general, but I hate and despise it in a little Russian country village, and as far as my own personal life goes, by heaven! there's absolutely no redeeming feature about it. Haven't you noticed if you are riding through a dark wood at night and see a little light shining ahead, how you forget your fatigue and the darkness and the sharp twigs that whip your face? I work, you well know, as no one else in the district works. Fate beats me on without rest; at times I suffer unendurably and I see no light ahead. I have no hope; I don't like people. It's a long time since I've loved any one.
SONYA. You love no one?
ASTROV. Not a soul. I only feel a sort of tenderness for your old nanny for old-times' sake. The peasants are all alike; they're stupid and live in dirt, and the educated people are hard to get along with. One gets tired of them. All our good friends are petty and shallow and see no farther than their own noses; in one word, they're stupid. Those that have brains and more to offer are hysterical, devoured with a mania for self-analysis. They whine, they hate, they pick faults everywhere with unhealthy sharpness. They sneak up to me sideways, look at me out of a corner of the eye, and say: "That man is a lunatic," "That man is a wind-bag." Or, if they don't know what else to label me with, they say I am strange, odd. I like forests, so that's strange. I don't eat meat; that's strange, too. Simple, natural relations between man and man, or man and nature, don't exist. [He tries to take a drink; SONYA prevents him.]
SONYA. I beg you, I implore you, don't drink any more!
ASTROV. Why not?
SONYA. It's so unworthy of you. You're well-bred, your voice is sweet, you're so different from everyone else I know -- you're a fine, good man. Why do you want to be like the common people that drink and play cards? Oh, don't, I beg you! You always say that people don't create anything, but only destroy what heaven has given them. Why, oh, why, do you destroy yourself? Oh, don't, I implore you not to! I entreat you!
ASTROV. [Gives her his hand] I won't drink any more.
SONYA. Promise me.
ASTROV. I give you my word of honour.
SONYA. [Squeezing his hand] Thank you.
ASTROV. I've done with it. You see, I'm perfectly sober again, and so I shall stay till the end of my life. [He looks his watch] But, as I was saying, life holds nothing for me; my race is run. I'm old, I'm tired, I'm mediocre; my sensibilities are dead. I could never attach myself to any one again. I love no one, and never shall! Beauty alone has the power to touch me still. I am deeply moved by it. Helena could turn my head in a day if she wanted to, but that's not love, that's not affection --
[He shudders and covers his face with his hands.]
SONYA. What is it?
ASTROV. Nothing. During Lent one of my patients died under chloroform.
SONYA. It's time to forget that. [A pause] Tell me, doctor, if I had a friend or a younger sister, and if you knew that she, well -- loved you, what would you do?
ASTROV. [Shrugging his shoulders] I don't know. I don't think I should do anything. I should make her understand that I couldn't return her love -- after all, I've got other things on my mind. I must start at once -- it's time for me to go. Good-bye, my dear girl. At this rate we'll stand here talking till morning. [He shakes hands with her] I'll go out through the sitting-room, because I'm afraid your uncle might detain me. [He goes out.]
SONYA. [Alone] Not a word from him! His heart and soul are still hidden from me, and yet for some reason I'm strangely happy. I wonder why? [She laughs with pleasure] I told him that he was a good man and that his voice was sweet. Was that the proper thing to do? I can still feel his voice vibrating in the air; it caresses me. [Wringing her hands] Oh! how terrible it is that I'm not pretty! I'm plain, I know it. As I came out of church last Sunday I heard people talking about me and I overheard a woman say, "She's a nice, kind girl, but what a pity she's so ugly!" So ugly!
HELENA comes in and throws open the window.
HELENA. The storm is over. What delicious air! [A pause] Where's the doctor?
SONYA. He's gone. [A pause.]
HELENA. Sonya!
SONYA. Yes?
HELENA. How much longer are you going to sulk at me? We haven't hurt each other. Why not be friends? It's time we ended this.
SONYA. I've wanted to -- [She embraces HELENA] Let's make peace.
HELENA. Oh, that's splendid. [They are both moved.]
SONYA. Has papa gone to bed?
HELENA. No, he is sitting up in the drawing-room. Heaven knows what reason you and I had for not speaking to each other for weeks. [Sees the open sideboard] What's this?
SONYA. Dr. Astrov has just had supper.
HELENA. There's some wine. Let's seal our friendship.
SONYA. Yes, let's.
HELENA. Out of one glass. [She fills a wine-glass] It's better like this. So, we're friends, are we?