“It’s almost a full moon,” noted Julia wistfully. “Just a couple of more days. Too bad it hadn’t coincided with the wedding.”
Lauren shrugged. “Better that it doesn’t happen on your wedding day. Enough shit can go wrong tomorrow, you don’t need the extra complication of a full moon to make things crazier.”
Julia frowned. “What makes you think something is going to go wrong tomorrow? Oh, God, please tell me you re-confirmed with everyone like you promised.”
“Relax, would you?” asked Lauren impatiently. “I already told you – three times now – that I confirmed with all the vendors. They all got the message loud and clear – be there on time and don’t screw up or they’ll get a hundred scathing reviews on Yelp.”
Julia blew out a very tense breath. “Sorry if I’m acting a little paranoid. And you’re right – nobody would dare risk pissing you off, so I’m sure everything is going to be fine.”
Lauren winked. “That’s the attitude, baby sis. And you’re even going to have great weather for your big day. It’s supposed to be even warmer than it was today. Considering that it could just as easily have been foggy and cool this time of year, you lucked out big time.”
Julia grinned at her sister. “I’ll bet you arranged for that too, didn’t you?”
“Absolutely,” agreed Lauren. “No way would I allow the weather to be anything less than perfect for your wedding. You deserve it, Jules.”
Julia laid her head back against the Adirondack chair and closed her eyes. “I still can’t believe that by this time tomorrow I’ll be married. You know, as many times as I organized my Barbie doll weddings and designed my own wedding gowns, somehow I never envisioned myself getting married at this point in my life.”
Lauren arched a brow. “That’s not what you said when you were sixteen, and the only thing you could talk about was how much you loved Sam and how the two of you were going to get married as soon as you both graduated from college. You were going to be a football wife while still running your own design firm.”
Julia gave her twin a sheepish look. “God, I forgot about all that. It seems like such a long time ago, you know? Why do we always think our first love is going to be the one that lasts forever?”
Lauren fell unnaturally silent at her sister’s hypothetical question, and merely stared out at the ocean, listening to the steady, soothing rush of the surf as it broke over the rocks. She was quiet for so long that Julia wasn’t sure what startled her more – the fact that Lauren could actually be silent for more than five minutes, or what she said when she finally spoke.
“Sometimes it does,” was all Lauren replied, but those three words spoke volumes as far as Julia was concerned. Her sister was unsmiling, a haunted look in the green eyes that were exactly like Julia’s, and it seemed as though Lauren was a million miles away.
“Are you speaking from personal experience?” asked Julia lightly, trying to cajole her twin out of whatever uncharacteristic funk she’d slipped into.
Lauren remained silent for several more seconds before staring directly at Julia. A wistful look had come over her face.
“Would that be so hard for you to believe, Jules?” she asked with a sad little smile. “That I’d ever really been in love?”
Now it was Julia’s turn to fall silent as she stared at her sister, stunned. “Have you?” she murmured in wonder. Lauren never talked about the men in her life, had never, to the best of Julia’s knowledge, ever brought one home to meet their parents. And as close as they were, despite the natural bond they’d always shared as twins, Julia knew this was the first time that Lauren had ever willingly brought up a subject as taboo as her love life.
Lauren hugged her knees against her chest, her gaze returning to the water as she replied in a slow, almost unnaturally calm manner. “Once. The summer I was twenty. Mom and Dad were on that trip to Scotland and the British Isles, and you were still in New York – must have been the year you interned at Donna Karan. I was staying in Big Sur, as usual, and had the dogs with me.”
“Is that where you met him?”
Lauren nodded, the long fall of her hair partially concealing her face. “Yes. He was visiting the coast, kind of a working vacation. We spent ten days together – the ten best days of my life. I was crazy about him, Jules. Out of my mind crazy in love. I had never believed I could feel that much, especially so quickly.”
“So what happened?” probed Julia gently, sensing instantly there was a great deal more to this story.
Lauren shrugged. “He left. Just took off and left one morning. No note, no good-bye, no attempt to contact me ever again.”
“And he broke your heart.”
Lauren’s head snapped up, her eyes blazing emerald fire. She opened her mouth to protest vehemently before closing it again. Instead, she scrubbed a hand over her nose and mouth, and Julia could have sworn she saw the faint shimmer of tears in her eyes.
“Yeah,” admitted Lauren roughly. “The lousy, lying bastard broke my heart into a million fucking pieces. I was furious when I woke up to find him gone, was all set to chase after him, hunt him down like the dog he was, and kick his ass.”
“You mean you didn’t?” asked Julia teasingly, trying to coax her fearless sister out of her shocking state of pathos.
“No. I had a pretty good idea of where to start looking, too. But instead of chasing after him, I just sort of -” Lauren paused, as if choosing her words carefully, “gave up.”
“Gave up? You?” Julia shook her head. “Uh, uh, I don’t believe that. You’re not the sort to give up – ever. So what really stopped you from going after him?”
Lauren threw up her hands. “Pride, I suppose. It was pretty obvious at that point that he wasn’t anywhere near as crazy about me as I’d thought he was. I’ll give the bastard total props for being a very, very good actor. The whole time we were together I was convinced he was as much in love with me as I was with him – even though neither of us actually came out and said the words.”
“Is that all it was – pride?” asked Julia quietly. “Or was it maybe that broken heart he left you with?”
Lauren closed her eyes, pinching her nose as she rather visibly fought off tears. “It was the only time in my life I ever cried over a man,” she whispered. “And the last time I’ve cried about anything. I swore I’d never let anyone get that close to me again. Instead, if there are hearts to be broken, I’m the one who’s going to do the breaking.”
Julia reached over and tenderly tucked a long strand of hair behind her sister’s ear. “How come I’ve never heard any of this before?” she asked in disbelief. “Six years and you’ve never said a word until now.”
“Who knows?” replied Lauren carelessly. “I mean, you were way on the other side of the country, busy with school and your internship. Plus, you’d gotten involved with that asshole Lucas – the one I knew there was something fishy about – and you were always busy every time we talked. Since then – well, I’ve just tried to forget about it, I guess.”
“But evidently you really haven’t.”
“No.” Lauren took Julia’s hand and squeezed it, a forced smile returning to her features. “But, hey, this isn’t about me right now. Not sure why in hell I felt a need to play True Confessions tonight – guess I’m just feeling a little sentimental since you’re getting married tomorrow. And this should all be about you, Jules. It’s your special day, not mine, so let’s stop rehashing shit that happened a lifetime ago.”
Julia frowned. “It should be about you sometimes, too, Lauren. You spend all of your time looking out for everyone else – me, Angela, Aunt Maddy, all of your crew at work. It’s okay to talk about your own problems sometimes, too.”
Lauren grinned. “Hey, I don’t have problems. I make damned sure of that, you know. I’ve got a great job, an awesome cabin on the coast, the best family anyone could ever ask for. I’m footloose and fancy free, don’t have to answer for my time to anybody else, and can do whatever the hell I please. I’m living a dream, Jules. No worries, no problems.”