Lauren stared at the TV for long seconds, wrapping her arms around her bent knees, watching but not really seeing what looked to Maddy like a cross between a boxing match and some sort of bizarre martial arts. Finally, Lauren lifted her head and looked at Maddy.
“Fine,” she stated defiantly. “But on one condition. If I tell you all my deep, dark secrets, then you have to tell me yours. Because I know you have some, Aunt Maddy, have known that for a long time. So, do we have a deal?”
Maddy was flabbergasted, never in a million years having expected her niece to issue such a challenge. But from the stubbornly smug look on Lauren’s face, Maddy realized that sharing her own secrets – and she did indeed have quite a few – would be the only way to learn why her beloved niece had been crying as though the end of the world was near.
Maddy glared. “You, my dear girl, are far too clever for your own good, and have been since you were old enough to talk. You are also nosier than an entire city block of gossipy old ladies. But,” she added reluctantly, “I suppose you have a deal.”
The way Lauren’s face lit up at Maddy’s grudgingly given consent was almost enough to make what she was going to do in a short while all worth it. Maddy’s secrets had been very closely guarded over the years, with only her sister Natalie and brother-in-law Robert knowing them all. And now, it seemed, her nosy niece would as well.
She was granted a short reprieve by the arrival of their dinner, and Lauren’s appetite seemed to be as healthy as ever. Maddy herself ate sparingly, her fifty-two year old metabolism far slower than her niece’s. Having to watch her calorie intake was something she’d grown used to over the years, as one couldn’t expect to have such a high level position in the fashion world and not look her very best at all times.
But when Lauren had eaten the last bite of red velvet cheesecake and set her fork down, Maddy knew her reprieve was nearly over. And despite her earlier admonition to Lauren, she fetched two glasses and a bottle of chardonnay from her wine refrigerator and poured them each a glass.
Lauren took two long sips, savoring the fine vintage, before setting her glass down. Then, without even blinking an eye, she plunged right in.
“I met him six years ago, when I was twenty and home from UCLA for the summer. We were together for ten days, the best ten days of my life, and I fell in love for the first and only time. And then he up and left one morning without a word and broke my heart. I never thought I’d see him again, told myself I didn’t want to see him again, until he wound up being my new boss at the magazine. And broke my heart all over again.”
Maddy sat and listened for the next half hour as Lauren expanded on her story, sharing details about Ben and their torrid summer fling, but stopping just shy of sharing too much. Maddy’s tender heart broke half a dozen times for her niece, at seeing just how vulnerable Lauren really was, and tried not to think about how closely parts of Lauren’s story paralleled her own.
Maddy shook her head at the end of Lauren’s tale. “Darling, I’m so sorry, so terribly sorry for you. But two things in particular trouble me about all of this. First, why in the world didn’t you share any of this with us before now? I understand perhaps why you didn’t tell me or your mother about it, but your own sister? Surely you didn’t think Julia wouldn’t have understood or supported you?”
Lauren sighed, refilling her wine glass. “Of course not. I know Jules would have moved heaven and earth for me, just like I would for her, no matter what the circumstances. I never told her when it all happened because she was so busy with work and school and her own life, and, well, you know how it’s always been with me. I hate being thought of as weak or needy or girly, and I couldn’t stand the thought of crying on anyone’s shoulder. And, well, I was ashamed, too. I’d been made a fool of, after all, and that sure as hell wasn’t something I was anxious to admit.”
“You weren’t a fool,” assured Maddy gently, stroking her niece’s cheek. “You were just in love, darling. Young and happy and so much in love. No one would have faulted you for that or thought less of you. Which brings me to my second question. Why haven’t you allowed Ben to explain things to you after all this time? From what you’ve told me, and from what I could gather that day we met him at Norma’s, he seems like a decent man. Kind, even.”
“He is.” Lauren gave a little shrug of resignation. “And I guess the reason I haven’t wanted to hear him out is because I’m afraid to know the truth. Afraid that he is just being kind, and that leaving that morning without a word was his way of letting me down easy. And, well, as you know, I’m also stubborn as hell. Stubborn and proud and unforgiving. I was still so mad at him, so hurt that he could leave me after everything we’d shared, that I thought to hell with him. That if he didn’t appreciate what he had with me, if he was too stupid to know a good thing when he had it, then I didn’t want anything more to do with him.”
Maddy shook her head. “You owed it to yourself to learn the truth, Lauren, even if it was a hard truth. You still owe it to yourself. It’s never too late, you know, to ask. To go to him and say you’re finally ready to listen, even if you aren’t going to like what he has to say.”
“I can’t, Aunt Maddy.” Tears welled up in her eyes again and she brushed them away angrily. “It’s way, way too late now. Ben and I barely speak to each other these days, and well, if Elle can be believed, he’s about to ask her to marry him. Going to him now – it would only look like sour grapes, or like I’m trying to cause trouble. Or, worse, that I’m desperate.”
“First of all,” declared Maddy, “you have no reason to believe that little witch. As jealous of you as she seems, I’d be willing to bet she just made that bit up about getting engaged. Or maybe she believes it’s going to happen but is really just deluding herself. But even if it is true, you still deserve to hear Ben’s side of things. Just like he deserves the chance to tell you.”
“I don’t know.” Lauren chewed on her bottom lip uncertainly. “Maybe. I’ll think about it while I’m in Canada.”
“Do that, darling. For both your sakes.”
Maddy picked up the bottle of wine and was a bit alarmed to realize they had drunk the entire bottle. She heaved a sigh as she got to her feet again.
“My turn now, I suppose. Though I just realized I’m going to need something a whole lot stronger than wine before I can bare my soul.”
Chapter Twenty
Lauren blinked in surprise as her normally sophisticated, refined aunt walked into her kitchen and returned a few moments later carrying two shot glasses and a chilled bottle of Skyy vodka. Without a word, Maddy poured them each a glass, belted hers down neatly, and then refilled it.
“There,” declared Maddy, shuddering just a bit as the alcohol hit her stomach. “I think that will do it. At least for now.”
Lauren grinned. “And I always wondered why you kept that bottle in the fridge. You know vodka isn’t my favorite, and I’ve never actually seen you take a shot of anything before. Great technique, by the way. The kind that only comes with a lot of practice.”
Maddy gave her a wink. “I’ve been known to let my hair down on occasion, though not so much in recent years. When I was in college, though – well, that’s a tale for another day. The one I’m going to tell you tonight actually began when I was a little younger than you are now – twenty-five, to be precise. It was springtime in Paris – such a cliché, I know – when I met a man by the name of James Butterfield. And it was definitely, absolutely, love at first sight – for both of us.”