Lauren was instantly intrigued, both by the way her aunt’s blue gray eyes lit up at the mention of this man’s name, and at the wistful note of longing in her voice.
“What were you doing in Paris? Vacationing?” inquired Lauren.
Maddy shook her head. “Working. I was an apprentice at Lanvin, putting in gruesomely long hours for practically no money. The apartment I lived in was so tiny it made your sister’s old place here in town look like a two bedroom flat. But I didn’t mind, because I was doing the work I loved in the city I loved. I was surrounded by beautiful art and clothes and incredible food and wine, and there was romance everywhere I looked. It was fitting, I suppose, that the only time I ever fell in love was in the City of Lovers.”
“Did this James work in the fashion industry, too?”
“Goodness, no.” Maddy gave a little laugh. “He was in finance, darling, came from a very long and distinguished banking family in England. We actually met at an art gallery, during a show for a new artist. And it was like something out of a romantic movie – our eyes met across a crowded room and the rest is history. At least for a time.”
“Now, this is starting to get good,” said Lauren, rubbing her hands together in glee. “What did he look like? I mean, just the fact that he was British – and rich – was probably enough to sweep a twenty-five year old woman off her feet. There’s just something about a man with an accent, isn’t there?”
Maddy laughed. “How true, darling. And, yes, he certainly did sweep me off my feet. He was older – twelve years to be exact – handsome, well dressed, sophisticated, and very, very charming. He was also,” she added soberly, “married, with three children.”
Lauren gaped in surprise. “Aunt Maddy – what - ”
Maddy held up a hand at Lauren’s protest. “It’s not what you think, Lauren. At least, not exactly. When I first met James he’d been legally separated for almost a year, and his children were all in their teens. His wife – well, from what he told me his life with her was extremely unhappy. She was a very high strung, nervous woman, easily upset, and James was constantly having to deal with one little emotional upheaval after another. By the time his youngest turned thirteen, he’d had enough and moved out of the house.”
Lauren nodded. “Okay, I get that. Sounds like the wife made his life a living hell, and he deserved a shot at some happiness.”
“Yes.” Maddy seemed pleased that she understood. “We fell madly in love right from the start. James was based in London, of course, had a flat there, and saw his children on a regular basis. He and I only got to see each other when he could come to Paris for the odd weekend, or if he could steal away for an extra day or two. But I didn’t mind, was willing to put up with anything so long as I could have him with me. We were crazy about each other, so in love that it makes me tingle all over just thinking about it.”
“So what happened, Aunt Maddy?” Lauren asked gently. “What happened to break you up?”
Maddy closed her eyes briefly before pouring another shot of vodka and tossing it down. “We had been seeing each other for almost a year,” she recalled. “My contract with Lanvin was nearly up, and I was considering moving to London so that we could be together all the time. James had introduced me to his children by then, and they were all very sweet to me. I think perhaps living with their mother tried their patience as well, and it was a relief for them to be around someone more calming.” She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “James had made an appointment to see his attorney, was ready to take the next step and initiate formal divorce proceedings. He would be free then, free to marry me, to have children of our own. And then the accident happened.”
Maddy took a third shot of vodka, her still flawless complexion paling beneath the strain of her story. “His oldest child – Christine – had just turned eighteen. She was a beautiful girl – kind, gentle, but full of life. Very much like her father. And – oh, God, it was tragic, Lauren, just heartbreaking. She was driving home from a party with several friends and their car was hit head on by a drunk driver. Four of them in all – all so young, with so much to live for – all of them killed instantly.”
Lauren, who had never met or even heard of this girl until now, nonetheless felt the same pangs of sorrow that her aunt had undoubtedly known for years, and wrapped her arms around Maddy’s waist. “I’m so sorry, Aunt Maddy,” she whispered. “How awful.”
Maddy pressed a kiss to Lauren’s forehead. “It was awful, darling. For everyone. James was devastated, especially since Christine had been his favorite. But he couldn’t afford to mourn, to grieve, because he had to be the strong one. His other children – a boy and another girl – were so upset while his wife – well, she was so distraught that she had to be sedated round the clock for some time. Between comforting his family, taking care of the children, and making funeral arrangements, I didn’t see or speak to James for weeks. But I understood, I knew all the responsibilities he had, and just wished I could have been there to help him get through it all. I didn’t dare, however, given how far gone his wife already was. If I had been in the picture, there’s no telling how much deeper she would have sunk. So I stayed in Paris, working hard, telling myself that James didn’t really want to be away from me, and that he would call or see me as soon as he could. And then, almost a month after Christine died, he came to Paris one final time.”
Lauren hugged her beloved aunt a little tighter. “What happened?”
Maddy blew out a breath. “What I’d expected would happen ever since I’d heard about Christine. He was terribly upset, dreadfully sorry, but with his wife – her name was Miranda – so incapacitated there was no possible way he could proceed with a divorce at that time. His children needed him too badly, needed at least one stable parent in their lives. And he couldn’t in all good conscience divorce Miranda when she was in such bad shape. He told me that maybe one day we could still be together, one day when Miranda was better and the children were a little older. But until then he had to do the right thing for all of us and not see me again. And that was the last time I ever saw or heard from James again.”
Lauren had tears in her eyes again, having cried more in the last few hours than she had in decades. But this time the tears weren’t for herself. “Oh, God, Aunt Maddy – I’m so, so sorry. You must have been devastated.”
Maddy nodded. “It was heartbreaking. I’ve never known pain like that in my life, never lost something so precious before. I begged James not to end things, told him I didn’t care if I could only see or talk to him once in awhile, so long as we could still be together. But he refused, saying that it wouldn’t be fair to me, that I was too young and beautiful and talented to waste my life waiting around for something that would probably never happen. He wouldn’t even kiss me good-by, told me that if he started he wouldn’t be able to stop. So he walked out of my tiny little apartment and out of my life.”
“How awful for both of you,” murmured Lauren. “Because I know without being told how much he must have loved you, too. But what I don’t know is why you kept this secret for so long, why Mom never told Julia and I anything about it. Did she - ”
“Yes. Your mother knew everything. As did your father, eventually. And part of the reason you girls never knew is because I was more than a little ashamed of myself. I mean, James was officially separated from Miranda when I met him, had lived apart from her for months, and fully intended to divorce her. But, well, he was still a married man, and like it or not there is a stigma attached. And – that’s not quite all of it, I’m afraid.”