Lauren frowned. “That sounds like plenty of heartache for one lifetime to me.”
Maddy smiled sadly. “You’d like to think so, wouldn’t you? But not quite, darling. Because a couple of weeks after James left me, I realized I was pregnant.”
Lauren cursed softly. “Shit, Aunt Maddy. Not that. What – what did you do?”
Tears welled up again in Maddy’s eyes. “At first I was beside myself, had no idea what to do. I was alone and pregnant in a foreign country, my job was going to end soon, and I didn’t have much money of my own at the time. There was no possible way I could tell my parents. You remember how strict and old-fashioned Papa and Maman were. And so very Catholic. The very idea that their daughter was pregnant out of wedlock, and that the father was married to someone else whom he couldn’t divorce – well, there was no way I could bring myself to tell them.”
“So what on earth did you do?”
Maddy sighed. “What twins always do – when one of them is in trouble they call the other one up and cry on their shoulder. Your mother was wonderful to me, even though she was pregnant herself at the time with you and Julia. Told me to come out to California, that I could live with all of you, and that she and your father would take care of me and the baby, that we’d all get through it together.”
Lauren shook her head. “But that’s not what happened, is it? I don’t ever recall a time when you lived with us. We would have heard about something like that.”
“No, I didn’t wind up in California,” confirmed Maddy quietly. “Because less than two weeks later I suffered a miscarriage. I lost James’s child just like I’d lost him.”
Lauren couldn’t think of any words that would come close to expressing the sorrow, the anguish, she felt for her much loved aunt. Instead, the two women simply held each other, consoling the other silently, sharing their mutual heartache.
It was long minutes later before Lauren ventured to ask, “So all this time you’ve never been tempted to look James up, see if he’s still married, that sort of thing?”
“Of course I’ve been tempted,” admitted Maddy. “Each time I was in London on business, I had to force myself not to go by his house or office or to one of the clubs or restaurants I knew he frequented. But I never did, or tried to contact him in other ways. I figured that if things had changed, if he and Miranda weren’t together any longer, that he would have called me, come to see me. But here we are, twenty seven years later, and not a word. However, I came to terms with all that a long time ago, darling, realized that James was in my past and forever destined to remain there.”
Lauren stroked her aunt’s cheek tenderly. “But you’ve never stopped loving him, have you? He’s the one for you – your one and only.”
Maddy nodded. “There have been other men, of course, but no one special, no one that I ever felt the same way about. I do believe – firmly – that each of us has that one special someone in our lives, our soulmate. And James was mine, just like Ben is yours. The only difference is that it might not be too late for you, Lauren. That’s why you need to talk to Ben, to listen to him, and tell him how you feel. You can have the happy ending that I never got.”
Tears still glistened in Lauren’s eyes. “I don’t know. I have to think about it, think about a lot of things. But I won’t accept that you can’t have a happy ending, too, Aunt Maddy. Is James the reason you never married, or had children of your own?”
“Mostly, yes.” Maddy gave a little shrug. “I grieved for such a long time, both for him and for the baby I lost. And by then my career had really taken off, I was traveling all the time, working insane hours. Most men I knew would have never put up with a schedule like that. But it didn’t matter, because if I couldn’t have James I didn’t want anyone else. As for children – well, I always had you and Julia. You’ve been as precious to me as my own daughters would have been.”
“Hmm.” Lauren tapped a finger against her chin thoughtfully. “You know, I always figured you and Julia were so much alike, while I was more like Mom. I mean, you and Jules both love New York, love clothes and shoes and stuff, the theater, yada yada. While I’m more down to earth like Mom, you know?”
Maddy smiled fondly. “Maybe in the way you dress, or where you live. But I’ve always known you’re more like me, darling. You and I are both independent, both career women, and neither of us can stand to be bossed around. But let’s stop the similarities right there, shall we? Because the last thing I want is for you to wind up alone like I am, still pining for a man she loved a lifetime ago.”
Maddy refused to discuss the matter any further, declaring that this round of “True Confessions” was over for the night, and that the pair of them were emotionally wrung out. They both headed off to bed a few minutes later, but Lauren was far too wound up to fall asleep. Checking that it was still early enough in California, she pressed the speed dial button on her phone for her sister.
“Jules, hey. I’m not interrupting anything, am I? Oh, God, really? Jeez, it’s barely nine o’clock back there and you guys are already – never mind. Look, the reason I called is because I need a phone number. Just give it to me, and I’ll let you get back to your – er, shagfest.”
***
“Mr. Gregson, Lauren McKinnon would like to speak with you, sir. She insists it will only take a moment and that it’s quite urgent.”
Ian was rarely surprised, his daily schedule having been planned out to the quarter of an hour, but this announcement from his PA was completely unexpected.
“You’re certain it’s Lauren McKinnon and not Julia?” he clarified.
His PA – Andrew Doherty – was barely able to disguise the irritation in his reply. “Yes, of course I’m certain, Mr. Gregson. I never get a name wrong. Besides, Julia is now known as Julia Atwood. Shall I put Ms. McKinnon through?”
Ian had to stifle a chuckle, knowing that he’d greatly annoyed his PA by questioning him in such a manner. Andrew was always precise, always organized, and – damn the man – always right. He was also the very best assistant Ian could ever imagine, and not someone he cared to rile up.
“Yes, please. Thank you, Andrew. I’m sure this won’t take long, and then we can proceed with our morning meeting.”
Ian was still smiling to himself as Andrew put the call through. Of course, he was always in a good mood these days, smiled more than he could ever recall doing, and all because he finally had his beloved Tessa living with him. They were almost inseparable, for she also traveled on business with him, serving as his PA during such trips. And even though it was barely eight thirty in the morning, his day having just begun, he was already counting the hours until he could be with her again.
“Lauren.” He greeted his unexpected caller warmly. “This is a pleasant surprise. Are you in San Francisco?”
“I wish,” she replied with a rather dramatic sigh. “No, I’m in New York, where it’s supposed to rain most of the day. And it’s already like a sauna outside. I really hate this place in the summer. And the winter, too. And the fall and spring aren’t all that great, either.”
“My sympathies,” he told her. “I suppose it would be insensitive of me to tell you that it’s cool and foggy here this morning, with an expected high of sixty-five degrees.”
“I hate you,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Actually, that’s not true. Especially since I’m calling to ask a favor.”
“Really? Now I’m intrigued. What can I do for you, Lauren?” he asked in an amused voice.
“It’s not exactly for me, but for my aunt. Though she has no idea I’m calling you right now, would probably be horrified at the thought. And I might be shooting for the moon here, but figured that life’s too short not to take a leap of faith every so often. You know what I mean?”
“Yes. And no,” he replied, shaking his head in complete bafflement. “I take it you think I can provide some assistance with helping you make this – ah, leap?”