What if. What if. What if.
Familiar emotion filled me as I remembered Julia holding Calia. I’d gotten to hold Gibson Bryant for just a few minutes, but his body hadn’t been warm. I remembered the way his soft skin was just a little too cold; his lips too blue. His perfect face had been relaxed like he was sleeping, but I knew no amount of rousing would wake him. He was lost in an eternal slumber. It was all my fault. I killed him.
Just like my mother.
I killed everything that got close to me.
It was a good thing that Johnny hadn’t come with me. I didn’t need to taint his life with mine. It was obvious he had enough shit on his own. I was nothing but poison. It was a wonder that this band was still intact with me as its leader.
I flipped the light off and went back to my room. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon. We’d been on the road for a few hours now and I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping anymore. I took my guitar out of the small closet and began strumming softly, humming the words to Broken. I couldn’t believe I’d sung that for Johnny. I was a moron. When was I going to learn?
It was then that I saw a small piece of paper on the floor. I stood and picked it up.
STAY AWAY FROM HIM OR ELSE.
What the hell kind of message was that? I stared at the letters again. Who was it to? I flipped it over, but there was nothing on the other side. Strange. Natalie had rented this bus for our trip. We certainly weren’t successful enough to have our own yet. Anyone could’ve left that in the closet.
I crumpled it up and threw it in the corner of the small room and went back to strumming the guitar, my thoughts on a tall, dark, seriously fuckable man that I wanted more than I should.
I looked hot. I knew I did. Tight leather pants clung to every curve. A short tank top showed off my flat stomach and full breasts. My hair was curled and falling around my shoulders. My makeup had been professionally done and was about ten times heavier than I was used to wearing it. My lips were bright red, as red as the fuck-me heels I was wearing. We’d already had a photo shoot on the stage for promotional materials for the tour. It was completely surreal.
We were ready. Tonight was our first show in Atlanta to a sold out crowd. We were minutes from meeting Halestorm and going out to open up for them. You could cut the nervous tension with a knife in our room, but we were so excited we couldn’t stand it.
“I think I might throw up,” Tanner said, pacing back and forth. The rest of us chuckled, all of us feeling the same way.
“You guys have got this,” Natalie said. Her phone buzzed. “I’ll be right back. I’m taking you in to meet with Halestorm after this, so sit tight.”
The door shut behind her, and I turned to Beau. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“I know,” he said, his voice low. “Who would’ve thought when we met all those years ago that we’d be here tonight?”
I shook my head. “Never. I never would’ve thought I’d even get out of that house, much less fulfill one of my greatest dreams.”
“He’s looking out for you,” Beau said. He didn’t have to say who he was. He never brought him up because my wrath when he did was not worth it. But somehow he knew that I needed to hear that tonight.
I nodded, forcing the lump out of my throat. “Let’s kick some motherfucking ass tonight, Beau.”
He grinned. “You got that fucking right.”
“Got what fucking right?”
I turned immediately, shocked at the voice I heard at the doorway. It was him. Johnny stood in the doorway wearing a pair of jeans, a black shirt, and black boots. He flexed his arms as he stuck his hands in his back pockets, his eyes never leaving mine.
My mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. Everyone was stunned mute in the room. Natalie stepped out from behind Johnny and indicated for the guys to follow her out. They did so wordlessly, each of them eyeing Johnny with suspicion before looking back at me one more time.
“What are you doing here?” I crossed my arms in front of me, smirking when I saw his eyes zero in on my chest.
“You asked me to go on tour with you,” Johnny said. God, he was hot as fuck. All I wanted to do was hold onto his hair while he licked me inside and out, then ride him until I saw stars.
“You never answered me,” I said back, hearing the bitchy edge to my voice but not able to stop it. “I left two days ago.”
He stepped up to me, his scent invading every pore in my body. “And I’ve done nothing but jerk off to the visions of you on all fours, underneath me, sucking my cock or me eating your pussy since then.”
Shit. Why did he have to do that? He knew what that did to me. “So you came all the way here to fuck? You mean you can’t find another pussy as good as mine?”
Something I couldn’t decipher flitted through his eyes. “Is that what you want? For me to fuck someone else? Do you want to fuck someone else?”
Hell to the no I don’t want to fuck someone else, and I sure as shit don’t want you to. The thought hit me so hard my head spun with the realization. “No.”
“No what, Bex? You asked me to come here. I’m here. Do you want me to go? Are we playing games now?”
I didn’t want to play games. I was done playing games. “No, we aren’t playing games. I’m glad you’re here.”
He pulled me to him so fast I barely had time to register the movement before he crushed his lips to mine. I knew my lipstick was going to need to be reapplied, but I didn’t care. He’d probably proudly wear it on his face, too. Johnny came here. For me. For us.
Was there an us?
Did I want there to be an us?
He sucked my tongue into his mouth, taking what he wanted from me. His fingers undid my button and he slid two fingers into me despite the tight pants. I writhed against him, moaning into his mouth as his thumb stroked over my clit. I was soaking wet for him, just as always.
Snapping out of my frozen state, I slid my hand into his pants and stroked his hard shaft, feeling moisture at his tip as I caressed from top to bottom. His tongue continued to fuck my mouth, our tongues dueling with unbridled passion.
“God, I want to fuck you so hard,” Johnny said, “but you need to get out there. Natalie told me I had two minutes. Goddamn, Bex, you are hot as fuck. Tonight after the show, I’m going to give it to you and then some. You got it?” I nodded, unable to speak. His fingers were still working inside of me. I was so close and needed that release so badly.
He smirked as he realized my body was close to the brink. “You want to come, Bex? Fuck yes, I’ll send you out on the stage flushed from the orgasm I gave you.” He pressed against my clit once more and sent me spiraling, my body shuddering at the sensation.
Johnny slid his fingers out of me, buttoned up my pants, and kissed me softly on the lips. “Get out there and fucking rock it, Bex. I can’t wait to watch you.”
Johnny
I stood next to Natalie off to the side of the stage, watching Jaded Regret doing their thing. The audience loved them. Large screens above our heads showed the front view that we couldn’t see from here. It was a packed, sold out arena that would no doubt shove the band into the spotlight in a big way.
Bex was in her fucking element. My dick twitched at the sight of those pants on her body, covering everything yet exposing it all. That, coupled with her hot-as-fuck voice and her playing the guitar while rocking on the stage, and I was horny as hell.
It had taken me two days to come to grips with what I wanted. Two days of questioning everything I’d ever known, done, and felt. Julia had been pushing me to go ever since I got up the morning Bex left. She’d apparently seen Bex and talked to her, which freaked me the hell out. Julia wouldn’t tell me what they’d talked about, only that I needed to really think about my life and what I wanted, Bex included.