A pause fell. Virginia waited. And then, in an effort to get
Alexa back to the point of the story, said, "So, he'd come to dine in Ovington Street on the wrong night."
"Yes. And he was tired out. You could see how tired he was. He'd just flown in from New York and he hadn't had any sleep, and he looked so down in the mouth, I asked him in. And we had a drink, and then something to eat. Chops. And then he went to sleep on the sofa."
"You can't have been very entertaining."
"Oh, Virginia, I told you. He was tired."
"Sorry. Go on."
"And then the next evening was the night he was meant to have dinner with the Penningtons, so he dropped in for a moment first, and brought me a great bunch of roses. A sort of thank-you. And then a couple of nights later, we went out for dinner. And… well, it sort of snowballed from there."
Virginia wondered if 'snowballed' was, under the circumstances, an appropriate word. But she said, "I see."
"And then a weekend came along and we drove out into the country for a day. And it was very warm and blue-skyed, and we took Larry and walked for miles over the downs, and we had dinner on the way back to London, and then we went to his flat for coffee. And then… well… it was dreadfully late… and…"
"You spent the night with him."
"Yes."
Virginia reached for another cigarette and lit it. Snapping out her lighter, she said, "And the following morning, you had no regrets?"
"No. No regrets."
"Was it… the first time? For you?"
"Yes. But you didn't have to ask that, did you?"
"Oh, honey, I know you very well."
"It made everything a bit embarrassing to begin with. Because I couldn't just let him find out. I couldn't pretend. It would have been like pretending you can swim frightfully well, and then jumping into the deep end and drowning. I didn't want to drown. So I told him. I was sure he would think I was dreadfully schoolgirlish or prissy. But do you know what he said? He said it was like being given a really splendid and unexpected present. And the next morning he woke me up by opening a bottle of champagne with a tremendous pop and a flying cork. And we sat in bed and drank it together. And after that…"
She paused, having apparently run out of both breath and words.
"More snowballing…?"
"Well, you know. We were always together, I mean when we weren't working. And after a bit, it seemed ludicrous, at the end of the evening, driving off in different directions or having to borrow the other person's tooth-brush. So we talked about it. He's got a very nice flat in Pembroke Gardens and I would happily have gone there, but I couldn't leave this house empty when it's so full of Granny Cheriton's precious things. And for the same reason I didn't feel very keen to let it. It was a bit of a dilemma but then Noel met up with these friends who'd just got married and wanted a place to rent until they'd found somewhere of their own. So he let them have his flat and moved in with me."
"How long has he been here?"
"About two months."
"And you never let on."
"It wasn't that I was ashamed or secretive. It was just that it was all so incredibly marvellous, I wanted to keep it to ourselves. Somehow that was part of the magic."
"Does he have family?"
"His parents are both dead but he's got two sisters. One's married and lives somewhere in Gloucestershire. The other's in London."
"Have you met her?"
"No, and I don't really want to. She's much older than Noel and she sounds rather frightening. She's Editor-in-Chief of Venus, and terribly high-powered."
"So when I get home, do you want me to say anything?"
"It's up to you."
Virginia thought about it. "It would surely be better to tell Edmund before he hears about it from some other person. He's in London a lot and you know how people talk. Especially men."
"That's what Noel says. Would you mind telling Fa? And Vi? Would it be very difficult to tell them?"
"Not difficult at all. Vi's amazing. She takes everything in her stride. And as for your father, at the moment I don't really care what I have to say to him."
Alexa frowned. "What do you mean?"
Virginia shrugged. She was frowning. When she frowned, all the fine lines on her face sprang into relief and she no longer looked so young. "1 suppose you might as well know. We're not on the best of terms at the moment. We have a running row going on, no harsh words, but a certain frigid politeness."
"But…" Noel was forgotten and Alexa filled with apprehension. She had never heard Virginia speak about Fa in that cold tone of voice, could not remember them ever having quarrelled. Virginia adored him, fell in with all his plans, agreed with everything he suggested. There had never been anything but loving accord, every evidence of physical affection, and always-even from behind closed doors-much laughter and chat when they were together. They never seemed to run out of things to talk about, and the stability of their marriage was one of the reasons Alexa returned home to Balnaid whenever she could grab a holiday. She liked to be with them. The very thought of their falling out, not speaking, not loving, was unendurable. Perhaps they would never love again. Perhaps they would divorce… "I can't bear it. What's happened?"
Virginia, seeing all the joy flow from Alexa's face, felt guilty and knew she had said too much. It was just that, talking about Noel, she had forgotten that Alexa was her stepdaughter and had allowed herself to speak bluntly and coldly about her problems, as though confiding in some old and intimate friend. A contemporary. But Alexa was not a contemporary.
She said quickly, "Don't look so horrified. It's not as bad as that. It's just that Edmund is insisting on sending Henry to boarding-school and I don't want him to go. He's only eight, and I think he's too young. Edmund has always known how I feel, but he settled it all without consulting me and I was very hurt. It's got to a pitch when we can't even talk about it. The subject is never mentioned. We've both dug our toes in and that seems to be it. Which is one of the reasons I took Henry away to Devon. He knows he's got to go away to school, and he knows that we're angry with each other. For his sake,
I try to have fun with him, and do things with him the way I always have. And I would never dream of saying a word to him against Edmund. You know how he adores his father. But it's not easy."
"Oh, poor little Henry."
"I know. I thought maybe a day or two with Vi would make things better for him. You know what buddies they are. So 1 made the excuse of a new dress and seeing you, and came to London for a few days. I don't really need a new dress, but I've seen you, and the way things have turned out, that's made it worthwhile."
"But you've still got to go home to Balnaid."
"Yes. But perhaps things will be better."
"I am sorry. But I do understand. I know how Fa can be once he's made up his mind about something. Like a brick wall. It's the way he works. I suppose it's one of the reasons that he's been so successful. But it's not easy if you're on the other side of the fence and you've got a point of view of your own."
"That's right. I sometimes think he would be a little more human if, just once in his life, he'd made a real cock-up of something. Then he could admit to the possibility of being mistaken. But he never has and he never does."
In total agreement, they gazed at each other glumly. Then Alexa said, without much conviction, "Perhaps Henry will love school, once he gets there."
"Oh, I hope so much that he will. For all our sakes. For Henry's sake in particular, I'd be grateful to be proved wrong. But I'm terribly afraid that he'll hate it."
"And you…? Oh, Virginia. I can't imagine you without Henry."
"That's the trouble. Neither can I."
She reached for another cigarette and Alexa decided that the time had come to take some positive action.
She said, "Let's have a drink. After all this, I think we could both do with one. What for you? A Scotch?"