No time to process all this, though, because he moves again, changing the angle of the kiss, delving deeper, his hand slipping round to the back of my head, his strong body shifting so that his thigh is now between my legs—pressing, making me see stars.
Feels so good alarms go off inside my head.
What am I doing? I push on his chest—to no effect. It’s like pushing on a brick wall.
Something does happen, though. He draws back, breaking the kiss, breathing hard. “You okay?”
He licks his lips, and God help me, that’s so sexy I can’t help myself. My turn to kiss him, and he makes a small, startled sound before he surrenders to it, keeping still as I explore his mouth with my tongue, licking into it, mimicking what he did to me a moment ago.
The sensation of his lips, his tongue, his stubble scratching my face, all that strength in his body, kept in check as he lets me have my way with him, it’s burning me alive. Can’t remember ever needing… needing release so much. I’m teetering on a brink, my pussy clenching, the pressure rising, sparks shooting up my belly.
Oh God, so this is what it’s really like, I think, before he moans in my mouth, trembling, his thigh presses harder between my legs, and I come undone. I try to break the kiss, but he keeps our mouths fused, swallowing my cries as pleasure tears through my body, shattering me.
He finally breaks the kiss and stares down at me, panting, a flush on his cheeks. He’s diamond hard where he’s pressed to me, the heat of his erection leaking through his jeans and my dress to mark my skin.
Holy crap…
The reality of what I’ve just done hits me square in the chest. Oh God. I kissed Seth. Kissed him, and let him kiss me—and get me off—in his bathroom, while Fred is somewhere else, thinking I’m at the party, talking and having harmless fun.
“I have to go,” I say, my voice barely making it past my lips. He’s still cradling my head, his leg is still between mine. I can still smell his delicious scent, still feel every inch of his body. “Seth.”
He blinks as if waking from a dream. Then his eyes narrow, his mouth flattens, and I can almost hear the shields dropping back into place with a clank, the defenses descending over his face, hiding any emotion he might feel.
“Of course you do,” he mutters and pulls away, turns his back to me. “Hell. Hope I helped with your question.”
I stare at the beautiful ink decorating the flare of his ribs, the line of his spine, the wings of his shoulder blades, and Jesus, what do I do now?
“Yes,” I croak, feeling ashamed and more confused than ever. “Thank you.”
I don’t know if he answers back, because this time I flee as if the devil’s at my heels.
***
“Physical therapy, huh?” Cassie’s reaction is much milder than Fred’s and makes me feel a little bit better about myself. “Why not?”
“Won’t you tell me I should stick to the arts? That I have to fight for dance?”
She shrugs. “It’s your life. Do you want to fight?”
Good question. “I want to keep dancing,” I say truthfully. “Can’t imagine life without dance.”
“Can you dance on the side?”
“Maybe? Depends on how much time I’ll have for it, I guess. I could also give classes to pay for college, at least partly. Pilates, ballet, belly dancing, modern dance.”
She gives me a faint smile. “You were always so full of energy. You make me feel old with everything you’re about to do.”
I sit back and take a good look at her. She looks terrible, thinner, with bags under eyes a bit too bright. Even worse: she’s dressed as if she’s heading for the gym—not something Cassie might do—in a café, for chrissakes.
So out of character.
“You okay, Cass?”
She stares into her mug of tea. “Been better.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing new.” She takes a sip and before I press her for a real answer, she says, “So I heard you left Saturday night's party with Seth?”
Oh crap. Stifling a groan, I lean back in my chair. “Who told you that?”
“Ha, gotcha.” A real smile this time. “You did, just now.”
I cover my face with my hands. “Devious.”
“I’m a bitch, I know.” She sniffs. “Everyone knows.”
“Hey…” I shouldn’t feel bad. She earned that title, and yet I’m pretty sure that’s why she’s like this. Like she’s really depressed. Sinking.
“So did you have wild sex in your car? In the stairwell? On his sofa? In the shower?”
“Cass!”
“Why do you look so shocked? People do that, you know.”
They do? “In the movies only,” I decide.
“I’m sure you believe that.”
My face warms, and I try to hide it behind my cup of coffee. “I do.”
Cassie of course sees right through me. Well, you’d have to be blind not to see my blush. “He kissed you, at least?”
“Fred?”
“Fred?” She makes a face. “You still hung up on him? Guy isn’t interested, girl.”
“What are you talking about? Fred wants me.”
“Because he goes out for coffee with you? Do tell. Has he kissed you?”
“Not yet.”
“Ah-huh. My point exactly. Whereas Seth…?”
I almost choke on my coffee. I want to lie. I try. My mouth won’t cooperate. “Seth did.”
“He kissed you. I knew it.” She grins, eyes twinkling. “The boy wants you.”
“No, he doesn’t.”
But even as I say it the memory of the way he held me and kissed me, the sounds he made, the feel of his hard-on branding my hip, it rushes back and makes me throb inside.
Crap.
“He wants into your pants.”
“He’s just being a good friend.”
She lifts a sandy brow. “By kissing you?”
I open my mouth. Close it. “It’s not like that.”
“Right.”
“I don’t want Seth.”
Okay, by now my excuses sound lame even to me. So I’m attracted to Seth. He’s an attractive guy. Nothing strange about that, right? Doesn’t mean anything.
But Cassie isn’t done with me yet. “Why do you want this guy anyway? This Fred?”
“We fit. We are similar.”
“That’s what I thought about Jesse. And see how wrong I was.”
I wince at the bitterness in her voice. “Yes, you were, Cass.”
“And if you are, too?”
“The difference is, I haven’t forced myself on him.”
“Fred or Seth?”
“Neither!”
Cassie nods, and I start when a tear rolls down her cheek, glittering like a crystal. She pushes back her chair and wipes at her eyes quickly. “Gotta go.”
“Cass…” Now why do I feel like a heel? “Wait.”
“What for? You’ve judged me, and won’t even think about taking another look at my case.”
“This isn’t a trial, Cass.”
“Then why does it feel like one?”
People at the surrounding tables are openly staring at us.
“Please sit down.” I sigh, rub my eyes. “I’m sorry. I believe what you told me, that you thought Jesse wasn’t serious about Amber. That he was only looking for a hook-up. I get it. I’m just stressed right now. Give me some time, Cass.”
She sits back down, a wary look on her face. “Okay. Is it because of Seth? And Fred?”
“I’m attracted to Seth, okay? But it’s Fred I want.”
“I see.” She toys with a strand of her blond hair. “So, this Fred. Must be really handsome, huh?”
“Yeah. He is.”
“You don’t sound too convinced.”
“I am.”
“And you like it when you kiss, right? When you fuck. You want to touch him, taste him, put your hands all over him? You want him to possess you and make you his.”
Oh God, yes. But the one on my mind right now isn’t Fred. Not at all.
It’s Seth.
***
The next days pass in a flurry of activity—running between college and the dance academy, gathering signed documents and stamps. Putting off the inevitable.