It isn’t helping with my worry.
“Called both Seth and Shane a dozen times each. Fuckers. Both of them took off and turned off their phones? I told them to stay put. Told them to wait.”
Don’t know what to say to that. He’d sounded pissed rather than trying to help yesterday when he was shouting at Seth, but why then isn’t Seth answering my phone calls, either?
“Maybe he’s upset with all of us? You know, for not believing him?” I tuck a stray curl behind my ear. “Or he’s walking and can’t hear his phone ringing?”
“Upset. He has a criminal record. What was I supposed to think? Shit.” Zane kicks at the wall with his boot, leaving a black mark. “Dammit.”
The climb down the stairs is done in silence. The building seems eerily empty. When we reach the bottom, the boys pull out their packs of cigarettes and head out the back door to smoke, and I follow them, trying to think where Seth might have gone.
Why is the ball of dread in my belly growing instead of diminishing? His friends are trying to help him. So he’s not at home right now. So what?
What am I not seeing?
When I’d first gone up to his apartment, what feels like years ago but was only a couple of weeks, there was something…
Something on his door.
“Hey, guys.” They’ve already lit up and are puffing clouds of pale smoke in the cold air of the back alley. “The sticker is gone.”
“Sticker?” Zane is leaning against a big dumpster, his eyes glinting like gems in the dimness. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“There was a sticker on Seth’s door last time I was here. A Damage Control sticker. With a snake.”
“Hey, I remember that.” Rafe throws down his cigarette and stomps on it. “She’s right. Last time I was here, it was on his door.”
“Fucking terrifying. I’m sure the aliens took it.” Zane shakes his head and draws on his cigarette, the embers glowing red.
“I’m just—” I step around him, pull something from the trash. “Jesus.”
“Beware of the aliens,” Zane mutters from behind me.
Rafe steps closer. “What is it?”
I pull out a plastic bag, filled with clothes. On top sits a Batman mug. “This… I think this belongs to Seth. I remember seeing it in his room.”
“Damn, that’s right. Isn’t that the mug Ocean gave him last Christmas?” Rafe frowns. “He threw out his stuff?”
I pull another bag. It tears. Paperbacks spill to the filthy ground. Romances. Sci-fi novels. Two barbell weights crash down, barely missing my feet.
“This is all his stuff. Why would he throw it away? It makes no sense. He throws his stuff away, turns off his phone and disappears. Why?”
“He got tired of it?” Rafe mutters. But he doesn’t look convinced.
That’s because it doesn’t sound like Seth. He has so little, I can’t believe he’d throw it away on a whim.
The bad feeling is back, choking me.
“What if he didn’t leave?” I ask.
“You mean he’s locked up upstairs?” Rafe glances up, as if he can see into Seth’s window.
“No, I mean, what if he moved out or something?”
“And go where? He can barely afford this apartment.” Zane turns to Rafe, frowning. “Hey, has he had any trouble paying the rent lately? I don’t think he has a job, and he never found a roomie, did he?”
“No. You think—?”
“Yeah, I do fucking think.” Zane takes one last drag from his cigarette and puts it out on the wall, his eyes dark with something like fury. “Let’s go find the landlord.”
***
We knock on the landlord’s door, and I stand in front of it while the guys hide. A decoy.
The door opens and a squirrely man stares up at me. “Yes?”
Before I say a word, Rafe and Zane step up behind me, nudge me aside, and barge into the apartment.
I follow, trembling, certain I’ll witness some sort of medieval torture applied to drag the truth out of the guy—but in fact a few words from Rafe ensure he spills the beans.
Yes, he evicted Seth. Yesterday. No, he doesn’t know where Seth is.
In fact, in the end we have to haul Rafe away from the guy, because he’s about to tear him a new one.
“That fucking son of a bitch,” Rafe hisses as Zane grabs him and pulls him out, and I close the door. “He just kicked him out, threw away his stuff. Motherfucker. He knew he should’ve told me. We had an agreement, goddammit!”
“Calm down, fucker.” Zane shoves him up against the wall. “Let’s be cool. We need to find Seth. Weather is turning cold, and it’s raining.”
“Why didn’t he come to us?” Rafe tears himself free from Zane’s hold and shoves his hands through his hair.
“He thought we gave up on him,” I say, because I see it clearly now. “All of us.”
“Fuck.” Zane wraps his knuckles on the wall as he starts down the stairs once again. “Shane isn’t answering his phone. We need to find him. He’ll tell us where his cousin is.”
***
As it turns out, Shane isn’t so hard to find. Jesse tells us he’s at Halo, the bar the Brotherhood and the Damage Boyz favor of late, playing pool with Micah who has his day off.
Indeed Shane’s there, looking slightly disheveled, his long, dark hair unbound and draped on his back like silk. He turns to look at us when Micah taps him on the shoulder, and for a moment I think I see Seth’s face.
But no, Shane’s face is finer, his eyes more widely set. Seth’s is more roughly hewn, the jaw more square.
Beautiful.
God, I need to see him. See that he’s okay.
“Whatcha want?” Shane slurs, and nice, he’s drunk. He’s a cute drunk. Relaxed, grinning, quite unlike his usual scowling self.
Wish I was relaxed myself to enjoy this.
“We’re looking for Seth,” Zane says.
His grin falls. “Saw him yesterday.” He puts his cue down. “Went by his place. Haven’t seen him since.”
“Well, his landlord threw him out,” I say, “and his phone isn’t answering, so if you have any idea of where he might be…”
“Threw him out?” He blinks, cocks his head to the side. “What the fuck?”
Rafe’s fists tighten. “Tell me about it. We can’t find him, and none of us know where he is. Do you?”
“Jesus. I don’t…” Shane leans back against the pool table, his cheekbones flushed. “I punched him.”
“You what?” My hands curl. I’m ready to punch him back. “Why?”
“For telling you guys about us. About our rap sheet.”
“Seth didn’t tell me about it,” Zane says. “Rafe found out by chance when he went looking for a job for Seth.”
“Oh hell.” Shane hangs his head, dark hair curtaining his face. “He tried telling me that. Shit. I should’ve known, but I was too pissed off.”
“Known what?”
He grunts. “Seth. He’s always looked out for me, since we were kids. I made him promise he wouldn’t tell you. He’d never break his promise. Dammit.”
“Help us find him and you can tell him that,” I say.
He turns to me. “He’s not with you?”
“Jesus, does drinking affect your hearing?” Anger makes me tremble. “We don’t know where he is.”
“Where would he go?” Rafe grabs Shane’s shoulder and shakes him. “Where, Shane?”
He shudders. “There’s this alley where we used to sleep when it got cold. Not far from State Street. I’ll take you there.”
“Good,” Rafe says and hauls him away from the pool table. He nods at Micah who’s watching us wide-eyed. “Come on. Let’s go get Seth.”
***
“Fucker, tell me this,” Zane says as we head down the avenue, looking for the alley where Shane is taking us. “What’s the truth? Did Seth do it, did he deal drugs?”
“Fuck no.” Shane glares at no-one in particular, hands in the pockets of his jacket. “He’s telling the truth, Zane, you got to believe him. Believe us.”
“What happened the night you two got arrested?”
“That night his mom called him, told him to come by. Seth had threatened to call the cops on her, and she said she’d throw out the drugs, change her life around.” Shane glances sideways at Zane. “Seth’s a good guy. Still loves his mom. Thought she was honest. She had it all thought out. Beat Seth down, left enough drugs to put him behind bars for almost a year. He was so badly hurt he’s lucky I went looking for him.” He shrugs. “I never regretted it.”