Our friendship had strengthened since her marriage. Both she and Daniel regarded me as their greatest friend, I knew. Rachel said to me once: “Do you realize what a big part you have played in our lives?
Suppose you hadn’t found me? Suppose I had . ? “
“Life is like that all the way through, isn’t it? Certain things happen because people are in a certain spot at a certain time.”
“But what you did was wonderful.”
“I was over-bold. I hesitated for a while but something told me that Daniel loved you enough, was strong enough. You are lucky to be his wife, Rachel. He is the one who has done so much for you, not I.”
“Daniel feels the same as I do about you.”
“I am glad. It is gratifying to take a bold step and be right.”
“We have been so lucky, and, but for you …” She shivered.
“You are doubly lucky because you realize how lucky you are. So many people don’t.”
“It will soon be over now. There is one thing, Freddie.”
“What is it?”
“Daniel has been marvelous, but…”
“But what?”
“It’s the baby. If it were his, it would be the most wonderful thing.
But it isn’t. Nothing can alter that, however good he is . however much he pretends. “
“Pretends?”
“To love the child. He is going to remember. I am afraid that he might hate it No, not hate it; he wouldn’t hate anyone, let alone an innocent child but he will look at it and be reminded. Then I shan’t be able to bear it. Already I love this child. It doesn’t make any difference that it has no right to be there. It is my baby and I know I shan’t be able to bear it if Daniel doesn’t love it, too.”
“Daniel is a good man, one of the best.”
“I know. He’ll try, but it will be there. It’s going to remind him every time he looks at it. It must, mustn’t it?”
“He has always known.”
“It will be different when it is actually there. I want everything to be right for this baby. I think I love it more because it is going to need special love and care from me. I’m longing for it and yet dreading seeing Daniel’s face. He can’t hide his feelings very well. I wonder how he’ll be when the child is born. Freddie, you’re our closest friend. Nobody knows about Gaston and me … only you.
Everyone thinks the baby is Daniel’s and that is why we had to marry so quickly. They whisper about that and some pretend to be shocked, but they think we redeemed ourselves by marrying in time. You are the only one who knows the truth, Freddie. You see what I mean. We can talk freely. “
“You’ve got to forget about Gaston. That is all over. You have to count your blessings. Because of it you married Daniel and that was the best thing you have ever done … for both of you. You have to think of the good things, Rachel.”
“I know. But what I wanted to say was this. Will you be here when the baby is born? I want you to be with Daniel. I want you to tell him that I love him very much. Make him see that I was young and foolish and easily flattered. I know all that now. He is such a modest man. He thinks that Gaston is so much more attractive than he is. He would not be so to me now. I should see right through him. I want Daniel to know that and I am afraid he doesn’t. I want you to be with him when the baby is born. I want you to tell him what I have told you. You could make him understand, perhaps.”
“I will be there, Rachel,” I said.
“I shall do my best.” She leaned towards me and kissed my cheek.
A few days later when we were at breakfast one of the men from Grindle’s Farm came to tell me that Mrs. Godber, the midwife, was at the farm and Mrs. Daniel’s baby was expected that day.
I went to the office and told James what was happening and that I should be at Grindle’s Farm if he wanted to get in touch with me about some urgent matter.
I went to Rachel immediately.
She was lying in bed looking pale and a little frightened.
“Oh, Freddie,” she said.
“I’m glad you’re here. I knew you’d come.”
“How are you feeling?”
“All right. It’s starting. Is Daniel here?”
“Yes. We shall be together.”
Her face twisted suddenly and Mrs. Godber was immediately at the bedside.
“You’d better go now, miss,” she said to me.
“I’ve sent for the doctor. That sounds like him now.”
I smiled at Rachel and went off. I met Daniel on the stairs.
I said: “She asked me to be here.”
“I know,” he said.
“Is it going to be all right?”
“Of course. You’ve got the good Mrs. Godber. She has a great reputation and the doctor has just come. Where shall we go?”
“We could go into my office. We could wait there. How long will it be?”
“I don’t think there are any fixed times for this sort of thing. We shall have to be patient.”
“It’s hard to be.”
He took me to a small room on the first floor. Ledgers and books on farms, farming and animals lined the walls.
There was a desk with writing materials covering it; there were also several chairs.
“I didn’t want to be with any of the others,” he said.
“Rachel’s aunt will be here soon. She is very good, but she fusses. It upsets me.”
“You don’t mind my being here?”
“No … no.”
“Rachel asked me to be with you. She’s worried about you.”
“About me?”
“Well, they say some husbands suffer as intensely as wives on such occasions.”
“I think she is going to be all right.”
“I’m sure of it. She is young and strong and there haven’t been any complications. People are having babies every day, you know.”
“Yes … but this is Rachel.”
“She’ll be all right.”
“I pray she will be.”
“She is very happy now, Daniel, you have made her very happy.”
“Sometimes I wonder. I see a sadness in her eyes. I think sometimes she looks back … with regret.”
“You know the reason for that, Daniel. She looks back and regrets what happened before. She wishes beyond everything that this child was yours.”
“So do I.”
“And she worries. This is her child, Daniel, part of her.”
“Before anything else, I want her to be happy,” he said earnestly.
“She will be and so will you be … if you let yourselves be.”
“But she will always look back, and I…”
“You must look forward, Daniel. You have done so much for her. You have shown her clearly how much you love her. No one knows that more than she does. You’ve got to go on doing that. You’ve got to forget what went before. You’ve got to make this child your child, too. That is what she is afraid of. She thinks you will remember and it will make a barrier between you and the child which will spoil the happiness you have built up together. “
“I shan’t be able to forget who the child’s father is.”
“The child will be yours from the moment it is born. That is how you have to see it.”
“I can’t do that. Could you if you were in my place?”
“I should try. I should try with all my strength, otherwise the happiness will not be there.”
“I know you are right,” he said.
“And what of Rachel?”
“It will depend on you, Daniel. It is not difficult to love a small child. And this is Rachel’s. Remember that. It is here because you love her so much.”
“You have done a great deal for us. I shall never forget how much.”
“I think you and Rachel have been very lucky, Daniel,” I said.
We sat silently, each aware of the clock ticking away the seconds. He was wondering, as I was, how long we should have to wait.
It was not until early evening that the baby was born. The doctor came down to us. One look at his face told us that all was well. He was beaming.