GRACE. No. Thanks.
Silence. She starts laughing.
Oh my God you were such an amazing dancer!
ADAM. Was I?
GRACE. Oh my God!
ADAM. In a good way I hope!
GRACE. Yeah as if! (Laughs.) You wish! You wish it was in a good way!
They laugh.
ADAM. That is so offensive…
GRACE. No it’s not!
ADAM. Amazing! So funny!
They laugh. He drinks and finishes the Lucozade. He scratches his hand.
I must’ve been bitten.
She feels her pockets.
GRACE (worried). My Oyster.
Blackout.
She searches in her bag. She’s wild with worry. He’s scratching his hand.
ADAM. It’ll turn up.
GRACE. I just put a fucking tenner on it.
ADAM. Shall I have a look?
She searches. Silence.
Could you maybe have left it somewhere?
GRACE. For fuck’s sakes!
She searches. Silence.
ADAM. I can pay.
She searches. Silence.
I really don’t mind paying.
She finds it in her pocket.
GRACE. There it is.
ADAM. Oh good. Thank God for that.
GRACE (genuinely exasperated). It’s always in the last place you look.
ADAM. So annoying…
GRACE. I’m glad I found that.
It’s awkward. She looks into the distance.
(Ratty.) Is that ours? I haven’t got my glasses.
He looks with her.
ADAM. Yeah. Maybe. What one do we want?
GRACE. N73.
ADAM. No.
GRACE. Okay.
Silence.
(Back to normal.) Really glad I found my Oyster card. I put ten pounds on it this evening.
ADAM. Did you?
Blackout.
Really loud, cold, inhuman dance music. They’re in a club. They’re stood apart from each other, not dancing, stood alone watching other people dancing, unaware of each other.
Blackout.
They’re sat on a bus.
ADAM. That’s better.
GRACE. Yeah. I don’t like standing up.
ADAM. Yeah. I’m like that.
Silence. Hold on this.
I think I’ve been on this bus before.
GRACE. Have you?
ADAM. Yeah.
GRACE. Cool.
ADAM. Yeah I’m sure I have.
GRACE. I’ve been on it loads.
Silence. They just sit there, pretending it’s not awkward.
ADAM. I do like buses actually.
A beat.
So you’re in recruitment, is that right?
GRACE. Yes.
ADAM. God.
GRACE. I’m cool with it.
ADAM. That’s good.
GRACE. It can be difficult I guess. But that’s kind of a good thing in a way.
ADAM. Meeting lots of new people.
GRACE. Well not that but yeah.
A beat.
What do you do again?
ADAM. I’m in sales.
GRACE. Oh yeah.
ADAM. But I’m gonna move into social media.
GRACE. Yeah. I remember now.
ADAM. I’ve got this idea for a website—
GRACE. Yes I remember you saying.
Hold on them just sat there on the bus, looking separately.
ADAM. Busy tonight…
GRACE. Yeah.
Silence. He looks at her.
ADAM. I like your hair.
GRACE. Do you?
ADAM. Yeah.
GRACE. It’s my GHDs.
ADAM. Cool.
A beat.
And d’you get it cut like that? Or do you do it all with the GHDs?
GRACE. Erm. Bit of both really. I get it cut. But I get it for half price because my sister used to work there. Abi. She used to be an assistant. And I sort of saw the owner for a bit.
ADAM. Cool.
Silence. Hold on them just sat there on the bus, looking separately.
It was a good club actually wasn’t it?
GRACE. It was a good club, yes.
Blackout.
The street. She’s bent over, fiddling with her foot. He’s just stood there, watching her. Hold on this for a beat, then—
ADAM. You could take them off.
GRACE. I’m fine.
ADAM. The stuff you women have to go through. It’s madness.
No response. He watches her fiddling, not knowing what to do. Eventually she straightens up. She’s now fiddling with her top, covering herself up, wrapping the jumper round her more. As she does so—
Where’s your place?
GRACE. It’s about a twenty-minute walk that way.
ADAM. Oh. Cool.
A beat.
I really need a wee.
GRACE. There’s a park you can do it in.
ADAM. Oh good.
GRACE. It’s nice actually. It’s got a pond.
ADAM. Oh cool.
She finishes fidgeting.
Come here…
GRACE. One second.
A second of fidgeting. Then she does. They hold each other.
ADAM. What a night!
GRACE. Yes! What a night…!
They laugh.
ADAM. And this seems like a cool area.
GRACE. Yeah. It is nice actually.
ADAM. Very nice.
GRACE. Yeah. There’s lots of amenities. Lots to do. Quite a young crowd but there’s also your oldies as well.
ADAM. You cold?
GRACE. No.
ADAM. Good.
He starts touching her face.
GRACE. Yeah. It’s not bad actually. You’ve got your supermarkets, your local shops, there’s a Homebase, there’s a club, the park. There’s a Kebabish down the road. Are you hungry?
He kisses her. Hold on this. He gets more into it than she does. He pulls back.
ADAM (quiet, so the audience can only just about hear it). Maybe we should go to the park together. What d’you think?
A beat as they look at each other. She kisses him. He pulls back.
Grace. What d’you think?
She kisses him. It’s cold, lustless and this time it goes on for ages. He holds the back of her head. It goes on and on till it becomes uncomfortable for the audience. It doesn’t crescendo – just the same kissing, still and stationary, apart from at one point he puts his hand tentatively on her bottom, where it remains, groping her in a way that looks perhaps painful for her. Finally they part and wipe their mouths.
Blackout.
The kebab shop. They sit, eating.
ADAM. Is that nice?
GRACE. It’s amazing.
ADAM. This is delicious.
They eat in silence.
I’m starving. I had a shit lunch.
GRACE. What did I have for lunch? Cheese sandwich.
ADAM. Lovely. What cheese d’you put in it?
GRACE. Cheddar.
ADAM. I love Cheddar. I like Brie as well.
GRACE. Yeah.
They eat in silence. Hold on this. Then—
ADAM. D’you want a drink?
GRACE. I’m fine.
ADAM. Coke? Diet Coke?
GRACE. No. It’s got caffeine in it. It keeps me awake.
ADAM. Yeah.
GRACE. I won’t sleep tonight.
ADAM. Okay.
They eat in silence.