‘Oh. I see…,’ Patsy answered, but didn’t.
‘Don’t tell Andrew I told you.’
They stared in silence at the distant horizon. The aggressive outline of a frigate had come into view round the headland, making a sweeping turn towards the dockyard.
A foreign government? Patsy chewed at the words. God almighty! Sara meant a spy!
‘Philip brought me here on our first afternoon in Plymouth, about ten years ago,’ Sara digressed, half to herself. ‘Wanted me to know where I could come to watch, when he set off in his submarine. We’d never been apart for more than a few days up to then. I had no idea what it was going to be like.’
Sara turned to Patsy, who found the digression aggravating.
‘You’re tougher than me, but it must upset you too, the separations?’ Sara asked.
‘Appalling. Particularly in the early days,’ she answered briskly. ‘But I learned to accept it, most of the time. There wasn’t any alternative.’
She’d meant to sound matter-of-fact, but Sara took it as a reproach.
‘The alternative’s bloody obvious!’ she snapped. ‘Patsy, you’re so organized, so bloody virtuous, I’m surprised you allow yourself to be seen in public with me! But surely, even in your well-ordered existence there must’ve been times, when Andrew was away, when you were desperate for… for something? I don’t just mean sex; I mean emotionally?’
Patsy felt her neck and face begin to burn.
‘You make me sound like a nun,’ she laughed uncomfortably.
‘Of course I get lonely, too. Of course…’
Patsy hesitated.
‘I’ve never told anyone this. But I did have an affair, once. You must never, never repeat this. Andrew doesn’t know, and he never will. It was a man I work with, a nice man. I shall always be fond of him. But one day I weighed what I was doing against my marriage and my children. And I ended it.’
‘Blimey,’ Sara whispered. ‘So you are human!’
Patsy stiffened. A pair of gulls swooped screeching over their heads, one chasing the other.
‘Is it our own fault, the way we end up? The sort of people we become?’ Sara demanded. ‘It can’t be, can it? Our parents must take some of the blame.’
‘I don’t know. I suppose it’s a bit of both…’
‘My mother used to have one lover after another. Destroyed my father. I hated her, but now I’m just like her.’
Sara’s eyes began to fill with tears.
Reminding herself why she’d engineered this meeting, Patsy decided she had to pull their conversation back on track.
‘What did you mean just now? About your lover being from a foreign government?’
‘I shouldn’t have said that! You mustn’t ask!’
But Patsy persevered, ‘When politicians use that phrase, they mean a spy!’
Sara’s face crumpled.
‘A Russian?’
Sara nodded.
‘Oh, God!’
Patsy felt chilled. This wasn’t just a matter of infidelity; it was a betrayal of everything.
‘Did you talk to him about Phil’s work?’
‘Of course not. At least, not in any way that mattered,’ she insisted. ‘Anyhow, I don’t know anything about it, except what it does to me.’
‘I see. But…’ Patsy searched for something to say.
‘Philip found out. And he flipped, literally. Something seemed to snap in his mind. Andrew was scared he might do something daft. I think they’re trying to bring him back, but nobody’s telling me anything. If you know what’s happening.…’
‘Not a thing. It’s all news to me. But what did you mean about him doing something daft?’
‘Blowing up the Russians? I don’t know — some sort of revenge.’
‘You can’t be serious!’
‘I don’t know…!’ Sara wailed, and burst into tears.
‘It’s not just because of what I did, though! I’m sure there’s something else.’
‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know. There’s been something churning round in Phil’s mind for months. Something to do with his work. He never said. Always denied there was anything wrong.’
Patsy felt deeply alarmed. She decided she’d better sound reassuring if she could.
‘Well, let’s hope they get Philip back soon. You’ll have to talk the whole thing out with him, I suppose. But what about your marriage? Do you want to save it? You might still be able to.’
Sara shut her eyes and groaned. Patsy hadn’t understood.
‘It’s too late for that! Don’t you see?’
‘Oh, I’m sure it’s not. Andrew’ll talk to him. Philip can get a job ashore, so he won’t be away so much.’
‘Patsy! Listen! He’s not… coming… back! Ever!’
A shiver ran down Patsy’s spine.
‘It was in his eyes as he left. Philip is going to die!’
Patsy felt cold all over. The wind had got up.
‘Are you there, Anthony?’ the Commander-in-Chief shouted, pushing open the door to the room occupied by the Flag Officer Submarines.
Admiral Bourlet rose to his feet.
‘We need to talk. About Hitchens. Can you come along to my office, and bring his file with you?’
‘Of course.’
Bourlet had spent much of the morning studying the file. It had not made comfortable reading.
He closed the C-in-C’s door and sat in the leather armchair to which Waverley directed him.
‘Never seen the PM more alarmed. She’s horrified at the very idea that world stability could be threatened by an officer in Her Majesty’s Navy.’
‘She’s ahead of herself, in that case. It hasn’t come to that yet. We’ve still a good chance of stopping him, sir,’ Bourlet announced, with contrived confidence.
‘What I want to know is how such a lunatic managed to end up as the captain of an SSN. They’re supposed to be our top talent, for God’s sake!’
Sir Stewart perched a pair of half-moon spectacles on the bridge of his long, thin nose. He reached across for the file.
‘To be frank, sir, he’s been bloody lucky. Twice,’ Bourlet explained as Waverley read. ‘He scraped through his “Perisher” with the recommendation that his ability to command had yet to be proven. They said he should be given the chance to show his worth as an Executive Officer. Then one of the Gulf sultanates bought a fleet of small diesel submarines, remember? Offered enormous sums tax-free to our submariners to work five-year contracts training Arabs to drive them. We lost four COs in a month. Three from Oberon diesel boats, and one from an SSN.’
‘And suddenly Lieutenant Commander Hitchens found himself in demand.’
‘Exactly. Got an “O” boat to drive. Did all right for a couple of years. Not much flair, but no mishaps either. Then came his second lucky break. Look at his S206 dated a couple of years back — his Officer’s Confidential Report, at the time he came up for promotion to Commander — Section 3, the General Report, says “A competent commanding officer of an ‘O’ boat, but a man obsessed by petty rules and regulations. Holds the respect of his men through firm discipline rather than any degree of affection. Not a team player. Could create unnecessary tension on board”.
‘Yet Section 5 recommends him for immediate promotion. The explanation comes in Section 6 — written by my predecessor. As you’ll see, sir, he says that although Hitchens hadn’t displayed the usual flair and leadership required for the command of a nuclear boat, the sudden shortage of SSN COs which occurred at that time made it essential Hitchens be considered for promotion.’
‘Ah! It’s coming back to me. There was some frightful accident.…’