Her poor daughter's body had simply been too small to exert the physical control and her mind alone was helpless to contain the power it held. That was what the Al-Drechar had been trying to explain since the beginning but her grief at Lyanna's death had stopped her listening.
Erienne's body was strong enough, though barely. She had wondered why the Al-Drechar hadn't asked her to accept the entity as part of her entire being rather than just her mind but even that made sense now. The mind had to be trained first. The mind had to be the cork in the bottle as well as the casting focus. The body could only be trained once the stopper could be put in place.
What her body did was channel the One in an endless circuit. It had no outlet and could drag no more power in unless she chose to open the bottle to cast a spell. Every urge in her body told her to yank out that mental cork because doing so would relieve the surging she felt inside her. Every thought in her mind drove her to keep the stopper in tight. What a paradox. The very time when in theory she should be in maximum control of the One magic was the time it was at its most dangerous to her and everything around her.
Now she understood, truly understood, the challenge that faced her. She would never fully control or cap the energy the One contained. All she could do was suppress it. And whenever she cast she had to use just exactly the right amount of power to achieve her end. That right amount being dependent on the strength of her body and the freshness of her mind combined. Too much at the wrong moment and she was lost. Not enough and the casting would fail.
Erienne's mind began to relax just slightly as her path became clearer. She was aware that she would hate what she had been forced to become. The spider would always be there, looking for a way to break her. And yet she could never fight it, never beat it. Just cage it and let it run to her design.
A more peaceful sleep overcame her now. Her last thought before the shouting woke her at dawn the next morning was that she was going to have to get to know herself all over again. She hoped her husband would understand.
Chapter 37
Hirad had been left with the last watch of the night and The Unknown cursed himself for his stupidity and complete misreading of Hirad's emotional state. The big man himself was the first awake that morning, Hirad shaking his shoulder. He'd looked and known what Hirad had done. Now he and the barbarian stood over the scene, his eyes adjusting to the early light of dawn.
At least he had been clinical. Both necks were broken. There was not a mark on either of them but the stillness of the dead had a quality about it that forewent any thought that they might still be sleeping.
'Oh, Hirad, what have you done?'
‘Ithought about slitting their throats or cutting out their hearts but in the end that would have been messy.'
The Unknown looked across at Hirad. He was assessing them like he might assess a selection of cuts of meat for his table. There was no remorse or regret in his stance or expression. In his mind they had deserved death and so they had died. It made the moral conversation he was about to have completely redundant.
'This isn't what we agreed,' said The Unknown, changing tack.
'We agreed we'd guard them,' said Hirad. 'If it makes you feel better, imagine they both broke their spells and tried to run or something. Do you think we should move them before Erienne wakes?'
'Or Denser.'
'Denser is already awake,' said Denser.
'Oh dear,' said The Unknown to himself, hearing the dark mage get up and walk towards them.
'What's the-'
'Denser, I think you'll need to consider the larger picture,' said The Unknown.
Denser was standing to Hirad's right, his face darkening with fury.
'What the fuck has happened here?' He gestured at the bodies, plainly unable quite to convince himself about what he was looking at. Hirad filled it in for him.
'I killed them, Denser. What does it look like?'
Denser took a pace back, bis mouth falling open in almost comical reaction. He stared at Hirad, naked disbelief in his face slowly dissolving into incredulity. Hirad wasn't looking in his direction. The Unknown knew what was coming. All he could do was be ready to step in if it got out of hand.
'They were my friends,' began Denser.
'Not for a long time,' said Hirad. 'They didn't come here to ask after your health.'
Denser gestured down. 'But how could you? They were no threat.'
Finally, Hirad turned to meet his gaze. 'No threat? Are you taking the piss? These two came here to kill us. They walked in invisible and if they could have stuck a knife in all of lis, they would. And then taken Erienne. Well, now they can't.'
'It wasn't your decision to make,' said Denser. 'We're a team, as you're so very fond of telling me.' He was about to say more but bit his tongue.
'And one that I will not see torn up by assassins. I can't believe you would consider any other option for these bastards.'
'But it wasn't what we had agreed. There was a decision to be made and it might not have been this one.' Denser knelt by Takyn, reached out a hand but didn't touch him.
'And what was your idea, Xetesk-man?' Hirad's voice was getting louder. 'Ask them not to do it again and send them on their way?'
Denser surged back upright and went nose to nose with Hirad. 'We could have disarmed them, turned them loose with no chance of finding us again. Made them safe as far as we were concerned.'
'Well they're safe now, aren't they?' Hirad didn't flinch. 'Don't see them giving us too many problems now, do you?'
'You've murdered them, you bastard!' shouted Denser, shoving
Hirad hard in the chest, sending him stumbling back. 'In cold blood. Where's your precious Code now? You're just a murderer.'
Hirad tensed and advanced on Denser menacingly.
'Hirad,' warned The Unknown.
The barbarian ignored him. 'You think they'd go and not come after us? Do you? You can't be that stupid. They are assassins. They have a target and that target is us. Xetesk is only a few hours behind us and Julatsa does not have walls. Why should we risk it, Denser? We cannot afford to be picked off and I will not risk any of us dying because you knew someone a few years back. Ilkar's memory is what matters, and you'd better start seeing it.' He let his voice drop to a harsh whisper before continuing. 'And don't you ever quote the Code at me again, Denser. This war is ongoing. It is only murder outside the rules of war.'
'They were our prisoners,' said Denser.
'They were trying to kill us. I have just removed that threat. What does it matter how it was done? If we'd killed them on sight last night would that have made it better for you, Denser?'
'It mattered to me,' said Denser. 'This is a step down a path we should not be treading. Back off it.'
'Don't come over all moral on me, Denser. I did what had to be done.' He gestured around at the camp. Darrick, Thraun and Erienne were all awake now. 'And though they might not admit it to you openly, they all know this had to happen. You should be thanking me for keeping your conscience clear.'
Denser gagged on his reply and The Unknown saw his self-control snap. He bunched a fist, ready to strike but found his arm caught by Thraun. The shapechanger looked at him for a moment.
'His knife was above you, Denser,' he said.
Hirad smiled. 'Right. You'd have been and would still be the first. Some friend, eh, Denser?' He turned away. 'I'm going to saddle the horses. And if you don't like the path I'm going down, feel free to ride in a different direction.'
The calm over Julatsa was unsettiing everyone in the college. Pheone had been restless on the college walls most of the day, and much of the night before. The latest failure in the mana focus had been prolonged and deeply disturbing. And when mana did return, they had stood around the Heart pit, tuned in to the mana focus and felt chill at what they had seen. The shadow across the Heart had deepened. Fingers of dark grey spread from it and the vibrant yellow they sought was dull and tired, suffocating beneath the cloying blanket.