‘We should get some green things for the fish, shouldn’t we, Bates? He seems very lonely.’
Bates dozed, Mrs Lawson continued to stare as if hypnotized while the fish went round and round. ‘Poor little soul,’ she whispered.
Angela let herself in, hating the smell that always hung in the air — babies’ vomit and urine. ‘I’m back, Mum,’ she yelled as she dropped her bag.
Mrs Dunn was making a half-hearted attempt to iron, feed the two kids and cook all at once. She was a tired-looking woman: everything about her was tired — her face, her hair, her clothes and, worst of all, her eyes. They seemed devoid of any expression.
‘Where’ve you been?’ It came out as a single sigh, the iron thudding over the drip-dry shirt that always creased.
‘Working.’
Mrs Dunn thumped the iron back on its stand. She pulled more semi-damp clothes from the wooden rail, tossed them into an already laden basket, switched off a steaming kettle and took an empty Mars Bar paper out of her youngest son’s mouth, all in one slow, tired swing.
‘Here’s a tenner for you.’
‘Put it in the tin on the sideboard. Eric’s going crazy — you don’t pay any rent or anything towards the food, we don’t know where you are, when you’re coming in, you treat this place like it was a hotel, you use the phone. There’s been call after call for you.’
‘Who from?’
‘I don’t know, that girl Sherry? John at the ice rink? I’m not your social secretary. Where’ve you been?’
Angela sat down, kicking her heels against the table leg. ‘Ester Freeman gimme a job for a night — just waitressin’.’
Mrs Dunn moved slowly back to the ironing. ‘I’ve told you not to mix with her, she’s no good, she’ll have you on the game next. Eric said he wouldn’t be surprised if you’re not on it anyway.’
‘Eric would know, wouldn’t he? He’s a pest, a dirty-minded, two-faced shit. This is your house and he has no right to ask me to pay rent in it.’
‘He does if he’s paying the bills, love, and he is. And don’t speak about him like that.’
‘He’s not my dad.’
‘No, he isn’t, thank Christ, or we’d have no roof over our heads. Eric’s taken you on.’
Angela snorted, looking around the dank kitchen. ‘Yeah, I’m sure. This is a dump, it always was, and it’s got worse over the years. You should complain to the council — you got every right, you know. There’s empty flats either side, they’re moving everyone else round here. You’d be up for a new place, five kids, no husband.’
Mrs Dunn banged the iron. ‘Now, don’t start. I know you always start like this. Just because you’ve got nothing in your life you got to have a go at me! Well, just stop it or you’re out on your ear.’
Angela sighed. She hated being home — hated everything about it — even more since Eric had taken over as ‘man of the house’. He was half her mother’s age and constantly made moves on Angela, but her mother refused to believe or take any notice of it, fearful that if Eric was confronted he would walk out on her.
‘So, where have you been?’
‘I just told you. You don’t listen to what I say. I went to Aylesbury.’
‘Oh, yes, Ester Freeman.’ Mrs Dunn suddenly sagged into a chair. ‘Don’t go back to working for her, Angela, she’s no good. I just don’t know what to do about you, I really don’t.’
Angela got up and slipped her arms around her mother. ‘Mum, I’ve got a boyfriend, I was sort of working for him in a way. He’s asked me to go and live with him. He’s got a nice house and—’
‘Oh, just stop it, Angela, you make up stories all the time. What man is this now? That copper? It was all in your head and she’s got you back at it, hasn’t she?’
Angela shrieked, ‘No. Why do you always think I’m on the game? I’m not, and I never was. I just used to clean for her!’
Mrs Dunn put her head in her hands. ‘I don’t know what to do with you. You won’t go back to school, you got no qualifications. How you gonna get a job with no qualifications? You tell me that.’
Angela stuck out her lower lip. Since she’d been picked up after the bust at Ester’s, she’d had a string of part-time jobs. Nothing kept her interested for more than a few weeks and the pay was bad in all of them. She’d been a waitress, a barmaid, a clerk, a trainee at two hair salons, part-time sales girl in numerous boutiques and she’d even helped out a few market-stall owners at Camden Lock. But in reality she was just drifting around and she knew it. She didn’t know how to stop it and in a way she had hoped Mike would guide her — but he just fucked her, like everyone else.
‘I dunno what to do, Mum. Nothin’ seems to work out for me.’
Mrs Dunn kissed her daughter. She was such a pretty girclass="underline" her thick hair hung in a marvellous Afro spiral cascade and she was a pale tawny colour with big, wide, amber brown eyes. ‘I want you to go and talk to your old teachers, see what they say, maybe get on some government training course. You can’t just live your life wanderin’ from one part-time job to another, you got to have a purpose.’
‘You mean like you?’ Angela said sarcastically, and saw the pain flash across her mother’s face.
‘No, what I don’t want is for you to have a life like mine, I wouldn’t want it for my worst enemy.’
Angela started to cry. She just felt so screwed up, with nothing in the future. She knew Mike didn’t want to see her any more — he hadn’t for a while now. ‘I’ll go and see them tomorrow, okay?’
Mrs Dunn smiled and suddenly all the tiredness evaporated. ‘Just stay away from Ester, that woman’s a bad influence.’
Angela nodded and went upstairs. She packed her bag, stuffing anything that came to hand into it. She’d had enough, she was leaving. She heard Eric come in so she never even said goodbye to her mother — she could hear him shouting and yelling at her in the kitchen.
She had no place to go. She called Mike at home but his wife answered so she put the phone down. She had no place to go but back to the Grange. She knew she shouldn’t have told Mike about the women but she hadn’t thought about the repercussions. She just wanted somewhere to stay until she sorted herself out. Maybe when she told Mike he would help her, find a job for her. Then she’d come back to London.
By the time Dolly returned it was after nine and she was still carrying the white rabbit. Ester was waiting in the hall as she had seen Dolly’s arrival from the bedroom window.
‘Did you have a nice day?’
‘Didn’t you ask Julia? Here, she got the fish, you get the rabbit.’ Dolly threw it at her and walked slowly up the stairs as Connie wandered out of the kitchen.
‘I got some stew on.’
Dolly looked at her. She had cotton wool stuffed up her nose, which was swollen and puffy, both eyes were black and she was crying. ‘What the hell happened to you?’
Connie snivelled and went back into the kitchen just as Kathleen was coming down the stairs. ‘Boyfriend, if you can call him that, whacked her one.’
Kathleen passed Dolly, raising an eyebrow at Ester. ‘Well, who gave you the bunny?’
Dolly washed her face and hands. She heard Julia returning and went downstairs, when the doorbell rang. Ester came hurrying out from the kitchen. ‘I’ll get it. You go on in and sit down and have your dinner, Dolly.’ She swung open the front door to see Angela huddled on the doorstep.
‘What do you want?’ Ester snapped.
‘Oh, please, Ester, I’ve had to leave Mum’s house. It was terrible and I had no other place to go.’
‘Well, you can’t stay here, you can sod off.’
Dolly walked further down into the hall. ‘What’s this?’