As Julia’s boots were mud-spattered, Norma reckoned it would be a good opener to ask if she liked to ride — horses, not herself, but that was what she was after. She wasn’t often so blatant about it — in her job she couldn’t be. If the Metropolitan Police knew that one of their mounted officers was gay... she could only imagine the snide cracks. She’d had enough of them already, without them knowing she was a lesbian as well.
Norma decided to go for it and walked towards the bar. Suddenly her confidence slipped a fraction as Julia turned towards her. She had not expected such dark, angry eyes. ‘Hi, I’m Norma Hastings.’ She put out her hand to shake and got a steely put-down.
‘Are you?’ said Julia sarcastically, not caring if Norma had said she was the Duchess of York.
‘Can I buy you a drink?’
‘Why not? Double Scotch.’
An hour later, Julia’s cheeks were as flushed as Norma’s, not from fresh air but from alcohol. She was very tipsy as the two climbed over a gate to head across a field to a couple of grazing horses.
‘She’s called Helen of Troy and if you can stable her, I’ll provide the feed. It’s just I’ve got Caper and he’s a bit of a handful.’ Norma pointed to a three-year-old stallion and then smiled at the quietly grazing Helen of Troy.
Julia pressed her face against Helen’s nose. ‘She’s beautiful,’ she whispered.
‘Well, I even put an advert in the local papers but I’ve had no offers yet. I was going to let the local riding school have her — she’s still got a lot of life in her. But she’s a big horse, over seventeen hands.’
Julia nuzzled the soft brown nose and was already in love with her. ‘Okay, I’ll take her.’ She beamed drunkenly at Norma. She was still plastered as she led the big horse along the manor’s drive. Dolly looked out from the drawing-room window, watching as Julia wove along the path.
‘What on earth is she doing with that?’
‘What?’ asked Kathleen, who was trying to remove a packed bag from the hoover.
‘Julia’s got a horse.’
Gloria peered up into Helen’s face. ‘Cor blimey, it’s enormous this, isn’t it?’
Connie reached out to stroke the horse and then stepped back. They all turned as Norma drove up in a clapped-out Land Rover. She hopped down. ‘I’ve brought her tack and feed. Is that the stable?’
The women looked at one another, not sure what was going on, as now Dolly and Kathleen came to the kitchen door.
‘Hi, Dolly. This is Norma and this is Helen of Troy.’ Julia grinned like a schoolgirl. ‘She’s been given to us, for free.’
‘Oh, yeah...’ Dolly looked on as Angela squeezed out, running to the horse.
Norma smiled at Dolly, and walked towards her, hand outstretched. She gave a hard handshake that almost floored Dolly. ‘She’ll be marvellous with kids. She’s thirteen years old, retired, but if you’re opening this as a children’s home she’ll be ideal. You can drop a bomb in front of her and she won’t even flinch. She can walk through a band or a riot and she’s as cool as a cucumber.’ Dolly felt a bit confused as to what was going on. Norma continued, ‘I’ve got a new hunter and I needed a home for Helen.’
Julia looked almost pleadingly at Dolly. ‘She’s a police horse, Dolly.’
Kathleen flinched as if the horse was about to arrest her. Dolly looked at Connie. Her voice was hardly audible, when she said, ‘Did she say what I think she just said?’
‘Yeah, it’s a police horse.’
‘Not the horse, Connie, the woman.’
Norma handed out bags of feed to Angela as Julia opened up the stables.
‘A minute, love,’ Dolly said, and went back into the kitchen, followed by a flushed Julia.
‘She’s beautiful, isn’t she? And free! We don’t have to even pay for her feed.’
Dolly folded her arms. ‘Really? And Norma’s a policewoman, is she?’
Julia nodded. She was still plastered and reeked of booze.
Dolly sighed. ‘You should have asked me. I don’t like the filth, mounted or otherwise, poking their nose around and that one looks like she’s ready to move in.’
‘Oh, well, I can take it back. I just thought...’
‘You thought what? I don’t ride, I’ve not got any kids here yet and you’re leaving so what the hell am I gonna do with a horse?’
Julia gripped the back of the chair. ‘I want to stay on, Dolly. I’ll groom her, feed her... You wouldn’t have to do a single thing, and I’ll make sure Norma keeps her distance.’
‘You better. We got an arsenal of guns on the property and none of us are what you might call environmentally friendly.’
Julia was about to return to the yard when Dolly told her that Ester had gone. She was stunned. ‘Gone?’
‘About fifteen minutes ago. And if you don’t mind me saying it’s good riddance.’
Julia hadn’t believed that Ester could walk out without even saying goodbye. She checked that her belongings had gone from their bedroom before finally accepting it. She slipped downstairs for a bottle of vodka, which she took back to her room. She drank it neat from her tooth-mug, slugging it back, then decided not to bother with the tooth-mug and drank it straight from the bottle. Ester had gone, left her without so much as a note. Julia rested back against the pillow that still smelt of her perfume and started to cry, awful, silent tears, the way she had learnt to cry in prison. Ester had taken such care of her, she was afraid of nothing, and she had chosen Julia, walked straight up to her. The other girls sitting with their dinner trays had moved away from the table, but Julia had said nothing, just continued to eat, her eyes down, afraid of what Ester wanted.
‘You shooting up?’ Ester had said.
Julia had swallowed, still unable to look at her.
‘Bad stuff in here. You’d better go cold turkey. I’ll take care of you.’
Julia reached for the bottle, wanting to pass out. She didn’t want to hear that deep, wonderful gravel voice in her head, smell that thick sweet-scented perfume. Ester had walked out on her without saying goodbye. Ester was the love of Julia’s life and without her the fear returned, her confidence dwindled and her deep-seated guilt and shame resurfaced.
Hours later, so drunk she was hardly able to lift her head, she heard the phone ringing, cutting through her dulled senses, but she was incapable of standing upright.
‘I’m at the station,’ Audrey said.
‘I’ll be there, just wait in the car park.’ Dolly replaced the phone and went out to find Gloria. She was with Kathleen, hanging over the stable door. Dolly held up the keys to Gloria’s Mini. ‘I won’t be long, just get some groceries.’
Gloria rushed to her. ‘We got to talk, Dolly. Eddie’s guns — I really need them. I got to get some cash.’