“No, sir. I don’t want to leave at all.” Paks had had a lingering fear that she might be thrown out.
“You’re sure?” Paks nodded. “Well, if you change your mind before you’re back to full duty, let me know. I’m glad you want to stay in; I think you’ll do well—if you stay out of fights like this. Tell me—do you think Korryn was sufficiently punished?”
“Yes, sir.” Paks could hear the distaste in her own voice.
“Ah. It bothered you, eh? I see it did. Well, it’s supposed to, and if you stay in, you’ll see that again—though we all hope not to. Now—about Corporal Stephi. I’ve agreed, with Sejek, to let him go south for his trial by the Duke. We’ve kept the scribes busy, and have the witnesses’ testimony and the rest written down. We think this will be sufficient, and the Duke won’t need to see any of you. We hope. Anyway, Stephi has been quite concerned about you—did Stammel mention it?” Paks nodded; Stammel had told her a lot about Stephi. “He’s asked how you were, and he wanted to see you and apologize. He’s a good man, really. We’re sure that some outside influence—probably magical—affected him that night. But—it’s up to you—will you see him before he goes south?”
“Sir, I—I don’t know. Should I?”
The captain frowned slightly, lacing his hands together. “It would be kind, I think. He can’t hurt you now, you know, even if he wanted to. It won’t make any difference to his trial, but it would reassure him, to see you up. You don’t have to, of course.”
Paks did not want to see Stephi ever again, but as she thought about it, she realized that she would have to, next year in the south. They might be in the same cohort; he might be her corporal. Best get it over, she decided, and looked up to meet the captain’s gaze. “I’ll see him, sir. But—I don’t know what to say.”
Valichi smiled. “You needn’t say much. It’ll be short. Wait here.” He rose from behind the desk, and went out, shutting the door. Paks felt her stomach churn. She swallowed once, then again. It seemed a long time before the door opened again. Paks rose as the two captains, Valichi and Sejek, and Stephi came in together, crowding the little room. The mouse under Stephi’s eye had faded to a sickly green.
“I’m very sorry, Paksenarrion, for the trouble I caused you,” said Stephi. Paks could not find her voice, and merely nodded. “I want you to know that—that I don’t do things like that—not usually. I never have before.” His voice shook a little. “I—I hope you won’t leave the Company, because of it—”
“I won’t,” said Paks. “I’m staying in.”
“Good. I’m glad. I hope you’re feeling better.”
“Yes.” Suddenly Paks found herself wanting to reassure this man, even though he had hurt her. She liked his honest face. “I’m doing well—in a week I’ll be fine.” He relaxed a bit and seemed to have nothing more to say.
Captain Sejek opened the door and Stephi went out; Paks saw the guard waiting for him in the passage.
“Thank you, Paksenarrion, for seeing him,” said Sejek a moment later. “I, too, regret your injuries and the trouble you’ve had. Stephi will be punished, of course—”
“But, sir, everyone’s told me it wasn’t really his fault,” said Paks, before she remembered that Sejek was a captain. She bit her lip.
Sejek frowned and sighed. “Maybe it wasn’t, but even so, he injured you. That doesn’t change. We punish drunks for their misdeeds, and for being drunk. He’ll be punished.”
Paks thought of Korryn’s punishment and shuddered. “But he’s not as bad as Korryn,” she persisted.
“No. He’s not. But he’s supposed to be better—much better—than any recruit. He’s a corporal of the regular Company, a veteran. This is not an offense to regard lightly. But that’s not your concern—don’t worry about it. I, too, am glad to hear that you’re staying in the Company; I’ll see you in the south next spring.” Sejek went out, leaving Paks with Valichi.
Valichi’s mustache twitched. “Now that’s as close to an apology as I’ve ever heard Sejek come.”
“Apology?”
Well—he’s wishing he’d taken a better look at you before he banned you that night. But Sejek doesn’t like to admit he could be wrong—I’ll warn you of that. Don’t even hint that he made a mistake on this, or he’ll be down on you for years. Right now—well, he’s convinced that you’re acceptable. It helped that you defended Stephi—was that why you did it?”
Paks was confused. “Sir, I—”
“No. You’re not the type. Go find Stammel—he’s out drilling, I think, on the east grounds—and he’ll keep you busy.”
Paks walked out, still confused, but happy to be returning to her friends. She joined in marching drill, but Siger barred her from weapons practice. “You can’t fight with both eyes open, yet,” he said. “It’ll be a long time before you’re ready to fight with just one.” Barracks chores were well within her capacity; when she thought about the cell, or the infirmary, she was glad enough to have them to do.
At first no one said anything about the fight or its aftermath. Saben explained that he had tried to find Stammel, that by the time he had returned, she was already hurt. The others simply avoided the subject. Even Effa forbore to give a lecture on the protection of Gird. This suited Paks very well; she had no desire to talk about the little she could remember. But in the other units, curiosity overcame tact, and as soon as she was back in weapons drill, the questions began. Barranyi, the tall black-haired woman in Vossik’s unit, often matched against Paks in drill, went farther than most. She was well-known for her strength of arm and sharp tongue.
“You should have poked an eye out,” she began one afternoon, as they walked back to the main stronghold with a load of firewood. Paks shook her head.
“I was trying to get away.”
“That’s stupid. Anyone can get mauled trying to get away. Attack on your own. If you’d gotten an eye—”
“I’d have been in worse trouble, Barra.” Paks checked the mule she was leading, and shoved one length of wood back into place. But Barra had not gone on; she halted her own mule and went on with her lecture.
“No, you wouldn’t. He started it; he was wrong. They’d have had to admit that. As it is, they owe you—”
“No, they don’t. Besides, they only found out it was his fault because I was beat up worse.”
“That’s not right.” Barra scowled and strode along silent for some distance. “If it’s not your fault, they should—”
“Barra—” Natzlin, a slender, pleasant girl with warm brown eyes who had been coupled with Barra before they joined, laid a hand on her arm. “Paks came out well—and if she’s satisfied—”
“No. She came out beaten half-dead, and—”
Paks laughed. “By the gods, Barra, I’m not that easy to kill.”
“You looked it that morning. A real mess, I tell you—I was ashamed—”