“You can be whoever you want to be.”
Caspar stared at Melchior with a stricken expression. “Alik Hidell bought the guns,” he whispered. “Not me.”
“Alik Hidell can do it then.”
“I don’t want to do it,” Caspar said.
“Caspar can do it too. Or Alik. Or O. H. Lee.”
Caspar got up and began pacing Melchior’s motel room. He’d placed his .38 on the bureau when they first came in, and he walked to it, stood facing it with his back to Melchior. Melchior’s gun was a warm lump under his arm, Ivelitsch’s telegram a slip of paper in his pocket.
“What’s with the skulls, Caspar?”
Caspar’s left hand slipped under his collar. “I’m Lee,” he whispered. He worried a bead between thumb and forefinger, and Melchior imagined bones breaking beneath the boy’s fingers, cranial plates cracking, teeth snapping out like kernels of corn.
“What’s with the skulls?”
Caspar whirled around to face Melchior. If he’d had his gun in his hand, he could have shot Melchior before the latter had time to react. But he didn’t have his gun in his hand.
“I went to Mexico.”
Melchior sat calmly, not reaching for his gun, not setting his drink down—although an agent with more wits about him than Caspar would have noticed that Melchior’s jacket was unbuttoned now, that he’d moved his drink to his left hand.
“Who went to Mexico? Caspar? Alik? O. H. Lee?”
“I did.” Caspar’s fingers moved from one bead to the next like the housemaids at the orphanage saying their rosaries. “I was trying to get away. But I couldn’t.”
“You were trying to go to Cuba, weren’t you?”
“I wanted to get away.”
“You were trying to kill Castro.”
“It was the Day of the Dead,” Caspar said.
“You wanted to go to Russia, too. To kill Khrushchev.”
“People were walking around with skulls hanging around their necks and painted on their faces. It was like they’d already died but their bodies hadn’t figured it out yet.”
Melchior shook his head. “Lee went to Mexico in October, Caspar. The Day of the Dead is in November. Did you think Lee was already dead?”
“I’m Lee,” Caspar said. “I am.”
“But you know they don’t really want Alik to kill Castro, don’t you? Or Khrushchev?”
“They do,” Caspar said angrily, plaintively. “They want him to shoot everyone.”
“Who?” Melchior didn’t bother to distinguish between target and master.
“Anyone. Everyone.” He was pulling so hard on the string of beads that Melchior thought he was going to break it.
“Who do they want Alik to shoot, Caspar?”
“Lee.” Caspar’s eyes dropped to the floor. “I’m Lee.” And then, in a quiet voice: “You.”
“Who do they want Alik to shoot, Caspar? You know who.”
Caspar lurched across the room again, walked straight into the wall, knocked his head against it over and over.
“They want me to shoot you.”
He was by his gun again. He picked it up this time, then turned and walked over to Melchior as steadily as he could, the gun resting flat on his palms like a dead kitten.
Melchior had something in his hand too. Ivelitsch’s telegram.
“Who do they want Alik to shoot, Caspar?”
Caspar stared at the slip of paper in Melchior’s hands. At the name written there. He looked up at Melchior, his shaking hands outstretched, the gun vibrating on his palms, until finally Melchior took it from him and set it on the table and Caspar threw his face in Melchior’s lap like a humbled dog. Melchior put his hand on Caspar’s head and stroked the wiry hair, resisting the urge to bring his glass down on the back of the boy’s head and put him out of his misery.
“You said you’d take care of Lee, Tommy. You said you’d always take care of Lee.”
Very gently, Melchior lifted the string of skulls from Caspar’s neck and slipped it in his pocket.
“He will,” Melchior said. He stroked the hair and tried not to think of the orphanage. “Tommy will take care of Lee. Right up until the very end.”
Millbrook, NY
November 19, 1963
It was nearly one in the morning when BC arrived, but the Big House was ablaze with light. When he burst into the house he found a half dozen Castalians sprawled around the common rooms on the first floor. He counted twenty-two infractions of the law, along with eleven nipples (two were marble, on a statue of Dionysus, and five more were painted on canvas or the bare plaster of the walls), plus one completely naked baby.
No one noticed him at all.
He managed to track down Leary on the second floor in a round garret with a lighted chandelier and rugs draped from the ceiling. Leary sat on a pillow in the middle of the room, his legs folded into a painful-looking knot. BC had to call his name three times before the doctor opened his eyes.
“Is he here?” he demanded, although he knew it was a pointless question. Leary would not be contemplating his navel if Orpheus was on the premises.
“Agent Querrey?” BC was still wearing his hipster getup—was still stained with blood and ash for that matter—and Leary stared at him in confusion. “I would never have recognized you.”
After the circulation had come back to his knees, Leary led BC to his bedroom. A twelve-inch carpet of clothing and books and used dishes covered every square foot of floor space. In the center of this chaos rose a bed whose yellowing sheets reeked of a smell BC remembered from certain of his bunkmates’ cots in the academy: not just sweat, but something else. Something funky. Something …
Sex, BC told himself. Just say it.
“Sex,” he said out loud, and he still didn’t blush, though Leary glanced at him sharply.
“In the past two weeks, Dr. Leary,” BC began, “I’ve seen things that would surprise even you. Things that, for better or worse, have changed my life irrevocably. But this isn’t about me. It’s about a man named Chandler Forrestal and a girl named Nazanin Haverman and a third person—though I hesitate to give him that much humanity—whose real name might never be known, but who needs to be brought to justice.”
Fear added itself to the confusion on Leary’s face. “But I thought Chandler and the girl were—”
“Dead? That’s what Melchior wanted you to believe.”
“Melchior? He was the dark-complected man?” Leary shuddered. “There’s something off about him.”
BC paused to kick a pair of boxer shorts off the tip of his shoe.
“If you’d asked me two months ago, I would have told you the Bureau was my life. Was all I had, all I wanted even. Now I realize that’s not true. What I had was a desire to sort truth from lies—the kind of lies men like the ones who run the Central Intelligence Agency tell, but also, as it turns out, men like the ones who run the Federal Bureau of Investigation tell. Men who believe that truth is relative, or subjective, or the provenance of victor over vanquished. I do not believe that, Dr. Leary. I will never believe that. There are facts and there are falsehoods, and never the twain shall meet. Before, the Bureau served as the most natural outlet for me to express that belief. Now I just have myself. My faith, my desire. My will. What I’m saying, Doctor, is that I need you to tell me everything you know about Project Orpheus, not just for your sake, but for mine.”
Leary fiddled with a statuette that BC thought was a chess queen until he saw the bare breasts—all eight of them, which the doctor was running his finger over absently, like a little boy playing with the teeth on a comb.
“I told you the last time you were here, Agent Querrey. Agent Logan kept me out of the loop.”
BC stood up and stepped very close to Leary. Close enough for the doctor to see that the flesh beneath his strange new getup was every bit as real as the doctor’s. The bones. The muscles. The fists.