"I am not an idiot, Dr. Gates. If this is going to work I have to know what's going on. I am not a child and will not be led through the dark by the hand."
He stared at her a while before answering.
"Very well. I plan to use free association at the start. I'll have you lay back in the recliner and begin talking off the top of your head about your childhood. I'll be searching for what we refer to as 'blocked' areas. When I have identified a pattern of blocks, I will put you under hypnosis and try to unblock those areas. If I'm successful, you will then begin the most difficult part of the therapy: you will have to face the painful memories you have repressed since childhood."
"And that will do it?"
"Theoretically, yes. Once the repressed memories are free, once you have dealt with them emotionally and intellectually as Kara, there will be no more need for Janine. She will either go dormant permanently or cease to exist."
It sounded sensible to Kara. She felt the first stirrings of hope.
"Let's get to it."
"There's something else you should know," he said, holding up a hand. "It will not be as easy as it sounds. It will take a long time, perhaps years, during which you will come to hate me, call me an incompetent, a charlatan, and want to quit. But you must have faith. You must stay with the therapy."
A cold lump of fear formed again in Kara's throat.
"Years? You mean I've got to spend years wondering whether I'm going to turn into this other person who writes on walls and God knows what else?"
He shook his head and pulled a pad from the top drawer of his desk.
"We can do something about that. Your second personality appears to be adopting a pattern of activity similar to your sister's: Janine takes over only when you are in periods of lighter sleep."
That was a relief.
"Then I'm safe during the day."
"For now.
"What does that mean?"
" 'Kara' is your primary personality, the dominant one, the personality through which you deal with the workaday world. This is a strongly entrenched, well-integrated, adult personality that has no need for 'Janine.' So 'Kara' remains in the driver seat while 'Janine,' the relatively minor personality, remains in the passenger seat. She has been dormant for a quarter century or so and hasn't the power to push 'Kara' aside and take over—except when 'Kara' is asleep. But the more time she logs in control, the stronger she will become. And some day she may well be able to assert dominance any time she wishes."
Kara fought the horror crawling through her. Not to be in control… to be dominated by a stranger, even if it was of her own creation…
"What can I do?"
"It's what we can do: suppress her. Don't give her time in the driver seat. That's why I'm prescribing something that will keep both you and 'Janine' asleep all night."
He handed her the slip. It was for thirty Halcion tablets.
"You prescribed these for Kelly. They obviously didn't help her too much."
Dr. Gates' smile was small and bitter.
"Your sister wouldn't take them if she had to work the next day. She said they made her groggy in the morning. Which they might."
Groggy in the morning … a small price to pay for controlling Janine. Kara held up the prescription.
"Guaranteed to work?"
"Nothing is guaranteed in psychiatry. But they will give you an edge. Take one every night, Miss Wade."
Kara folded the slip and dropped it in her purse. She nodded toward the recliner.
"Shall we get started?"
▼
6:26 P.M.
"Hey lady!" Rob called from his car window as he saw Kara come out of the medical arts building. "Need a ride?"
She glanced at him with a get-lost look, then her face relaxed into a smile. A worn, tired smile, but a smile nonetheless. She came over to the car. "How long have you been waiting here?" It had been an hour. He hadn't been able to see Doc Winters today, so he'd set it up for tomorrow. He'd got here around five thirty and had begun to fear he'd missed her.
"Too long. Get in. I'll drive you where you're going."
She got in the other side, leaned back against the head rest, and closed her eyes. She looked beat. Rob reached over and squeezed her hand. She didn't pull away.
"Tough day?" he said.
She nodded. "You wouldn't believe."
"Want to tell me about it over a drink?"
She opened her eyes and looked at him.
"A drink would be nice."
He didn't want to take her to Leo's so he found a restaurant on Eighth and parked by the fire hydrant. The place had upscale decor with lots of neon in the window, the kind of place that could charge twenty-five bucks for portions that wouldn't feed a toddler. But it was nearly empty so they got a table near the rear. No menus, just drinks. Rob ordered a scotch, Kara had a chablis.
She was reticent, but slowly he drew the events of the weekend out of her. It was chilling. Those words carved over Jill's bed gave him the creeps.
He said, "I think you did the right thing, getting out of there. I only wish you had someone else as a doctor."
"You keep saying that. Do you know something about Dr. Gates that I don't?"
"Nothing bad. Everyone I talk to says he's tops. I just don't like him."
"Neither do I. He's got all the warmth of an earthworm. Not the sort you look forward to spending an hour a day, three days a week with."
"That often?"
"Monday-Wednesday-Friday. He's going to jump me into heavy therapy at first to see if we can get a quick response. As I said, he's not Dr. Warmth, but if he knows his stuff and can get me through this, then he's the one I should be with."
"I guess so. I just—"
"It's all my fault!" she blurted. Tears glistened in her eyes. "If only I'd listened to him and not tried that hypnotism, none of this would be happening."
"Don't blame yourself, Kara. You had to know if—"
"And now I do! Rob, I'm frightened! To think that I was standing over Jill's bed with my father's old carving knife, cutting words into the wall! It makes me sick!"
"You'll be all right. They don't come any tougher than you, Kara. If anyone's going to lick this thing, it's you."
Rob desperately wanted to raise her spirits and would have said anything to buck her up, but he believed what he'd said. Kara was strong. He had real faith in her mental toughness.
"I hope so," she said, sniffing and wiping her eyes with a napkin. She finished her wine. "Can we get out of here?"
"Sure."
▼
"Staying at your aunt's?" he said as he drove toward the East Side on Twenty-fourth. With all the little businesses closed and no trucks double parked to load and unload, it was an easy trip.
"For now. I don't know what I'm going to do long term. This could be a lengthy siege. I may have to move here."
Rob was ashamed of the tiny surge of delight those words elicited. He knew how she hated the city.
She said, "During the day I'll be at Ellen's with Jill.
She'll sleep there, too. But for the time being I'm going to sleep over at Kelly's."
"Alone? Why on earth would you want to do that?"
"I don't. But Dr. Gates suggested it. He said I should spend my nights there until we see how things go. Otherwise I run the risk of Jill seeing me as Janine. I don't want that. What if she had awakened when I was carving those words over her bed? What if she'd tried to talk to me then, someone who looked like her mother but wasn't? I can't risk frightening her like that. Or worse, run the risk of hurting her when I'm Janine."