"It was your idea," I said.
"I know!" he yelled. "But why the hell did I think of it, Tojo? I don't do things like that!"
I didn't know what to say, so I simply kept quiet and stared at him as he took another drink.
"I'm losing control of things!" he repeated. "And that goddamned blue man knows it. He just sits there, taking everything I can dish out and thanking me for it. Why doesn't he fight back?"
"I don't know, Thaddeus." I reached out for the Scotch. "You'd better take it a little easy with this stuff."
"Get your hands off it!" he said hotly, grabbing the bottle back and taking another long swallow. "You're on their side, aren't you?"
"I'm on my side," I said noncommittally.
"Don't lie to me, you little dwarf! Everyone's on their side—you, Alma, Queenie, Monk, even the Dancer if he's spent two seconds thinking about it. The only one who doesn't give a damn about them is Romany."
"And you," I said.
"Right," he said without conviction. "And me."
He looked at the bottle for a minute, then hurled it against the wall, where it exploded into a thousand tiny fragments.
Then he stood up and walked groggily into the bedroom. I heard the springs squeak as he flopped down on the bed, I heard his shoes hit the floor as he kicked them off, and then I heard him mutter, in an unhappy and bewildered voice: "What is happening to me?"
Chapter 14
I woke up to the sound of Thaddeus' voice.
At first I thought I had fallen asleep in the Dancer's trailer, but as my mind became clearer I remembered trudging back to my own bed.
Wondering if one of the aliens had become sicker, I threw on a robe and walked out to the living room.
Scratch was still there, and Rainbow—now a much richer shade of blue, with ripples of red running up and down his torso—was sitting on a chair, obviously much improved. Thaddeus was leaning back on the couch, his feet propped up on the beat-up coffee table.
The sun, beating in through the windows, made my eyes water, and I realized that it was midmorning.
"Where's Dapper Dan?" I asked.
Thaddeus smiled. "Even potential suicides have to use the facilities every now and then."
"Aren't you afraid he might climb out the window?"
Thaddeus shook his head. "Not with eight inches of snow on the ground. He may be mixed up, but he's not crazy. It takes a long time to freeze to death, and it's been my observation that people who try to overdose usually have an aversion to painful and extended death scenes." He looked up as the Missing Link entered the room. "What did I tell you?"
"May I pass?" said Dapper Dan patiently.
"Be my guest," said Thaddeus, swinging his feet off the table to provide the Missing Link with a path to the one empty chair in the room.
"What are you doing here?" I asked Thaddeus.
"I live here," he said. "Also, I woke up with a hangover you wouldn't believe, and our Billybuck's long and strong suit isn't hangover remedies, so I figured I might as well bite the bullet and sober up the hard way. I thought I'd die before I got halfway here, but by the time I reached the door I was feeling mildly human again. Which, considering our present company, isn't all that bad a thing to be."
"You're looking better, Rainbow," I said.
"I am recovering," he answered. Then he turned to Thaddeus. "If you need me, I can probably be put back on display this afternoon."
"Forget it," said Thaddeus. "You'd turn into an icicle before I got you over to the tent. You'll stay here for another day or two. You, too," he added to Dapper Dan. "That is, if you want to."
"It makes no difference," said the Missing Link.
"Jesus, you'd depress a hyena," said Thaddeus. "Relax. I'm going to be talking deal to Romany again today."
"Nothing will come of it," said Dapper Dan morosely.
"Nothing like a little optimism to start the day," said Thaddeus. "I don't suppose you've ever considered becoming a comedian?"
"We don't have any on my world."
"Somehow I'm not surprised," said Thaddeus dryly. He stood up and walked to the door. "I'm going to check on the others. Come on over after you get dressed, Tojo."
"What about me?" asked Scratch.
"Don't drink all my beer," said Thaddeus, going out the door.
"Thank you!" Scratch shouted after him, but the door was already closed and I don't think he heard it.
I spent the next few minutes shaving and getting dressed. Then I made my bed, and since Rainbow looked as if he was up for the day, I made his as well.
Finally I put my coat and gloves on and walked out into the cold, closing the door as quickly as possible so as not to subject Rainbow to a draft.
The snow had stopped falling sometime during the night, snowplows were clearing the roads, the sun was finally shining, and those few birds that hadn't yet flown south were scouring the grounds in search of food.
Thaddeus had left a trail of deep footprints in the snow, leading directly to the dormitory tent. As I followed them I saw Gloria heading over to the girlie show to start her morning exercises, and we waved to each other. The only other person up and around was the Rigger, who looked for all the world like a poker game in search of a place to happen. He hollered over to me that he was going to the Hothouse in a few minutes and that if any marks showed up early I should send them over, as he would be only too happy to entertain them.
Thaddeus and Mr. Ahasuerus were sitting together at a table when I got to the dormitory tent. The blue man looked up and gave me his somewhat frightening equivalent of a smile of greeting, and Thaddeus gestured me to pull up a chair and join them, which I did after first getting a cup of coffee from Queenie.
"So they really don't have any?" Thaddeus was saying with a look of total disbelief on his face.
Mr. Ahasuerus shook his head. "It seems to be an art form—if that is the proper word for it—that is confined solely to your planet."
"That's hard to believe."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"Mr. Ahasuerus has just informed me that we have the only strippers in the whole damned galaxy," said Thaddeus. "Considering how many races seem to be running around your community of worlds, it just seems kind of farfetched to me that they could all be so uninterested in sex."
"You are confusing sex with titillation," replied the blue man. "Many of the races don't even wear clothing."
"That's funny," remarked Thaddeus. "I would have thought all civilized races wore clothes."
"Most sentient races can control their environments. Those who retain the desire for clothing do so from reasons totally extraneous to protection from the elements: shame, morality, fashion."
"How about lion tamers?" asked Thaddeus.
"Most of our circuses and carnivals have animal trainers," replied Mr. Ahasuerus. "Some of them work with animals that are of a magnitude that would make your friend Monk think twice about entering a cage with them."
"And trick-shot artists?"
"A few," said the blue man. "But, to be honest, none of them with the skill of Billybuck Dancer. I have often wondered how and where he acquired it."