Jessie took what she wanted and Chris became a nameless, faceless woman, like so many before her. Just someone she could use to drive out her thoughts. She laid her full weight on top of Chris, pressing her hips hard into the soft body beneath hers, hearing Chris's low moan as her kiss turned hungry. She refused to think, letting her body take over as her hands moved between them, unbuttoning Chris's jeans and slipping easily inside. Her fingers found their target, only briefly acknowledging the wetness she knew she would find. She shook off the hands that cupped her face, denying the tender kiss that Chris placed on her lips.
"No."
The eyes that Chris found in the moonlight were hard, dark, emotionless.
"Jessie ..."
"No."
Jessie covered her mouth again then roughly grabbed Chris's hand and shoved it inside her own jeans. She rolled over, pulling Chris on top of her, opening her legs.
"Please, take me," she whispered before guiding Chris's mouth back to her own.
Chris tried to pull away, her mind fighting with her body over her desire for this woman. She could take her, right now. But for pleasure? No, it would just be a quick fuck. Jessie's eyes were blank. There was no pleasure there. But Jessie grabbed her hand again, pushing it inside her jeans. Fingers felt wetness and Chris moaned, wanting to be inside her, and she let her body win.
Jessie raised her hips, shoving fingers deep inside her. Her eyes closed as familiar feelings gripped painfully at her heart. Her hips moved roughly against fingers that tried to give her pleasure. She didn't want pleasure. She wanted to hurt.
"Harder," she whispered.
"No, Jessie, look at me."
"No. Please, just fuck me." She closed her mind and saw nothing, only blackness. Then he was there, so big, so rough, callused hands touching her soft skin. "It's alright, baby, Daddy's here."
Chris saw the tears fall, felt Jessie go limp and she finally pulled her hand away. She stared at her, wondering what had just happened, why she had let it happen. This isn't what she wanted between them.
"Jessie?"
Jessie shook her head as sobs racked her body. She felt Chris pull away from her and sit up. Jessie curled into a fetal position and cried. She cried harder when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Jessie, please. Tell me what the hell is going on."
"I just wanted... I wanted,"
"I know what you wanted. I want to know why. Why did you do that to me?"
"I tried to warn you," Jessie whispered.
"Warn me?"
"I use people, McKenna. It's the only thing I'm good at."
"Goddamn you, Jessie. I'm not some bimbo you picked up in a bar to take home for a quick fuck. I liked you."
Liked. Past tense. Jessie nodded. This, she was used to.
Chris stood and pulled her jeans up and buttoned them. Never in her life had she been this humiliated. She had thought, maybe, that Jessie liked her, that Jessie wanted to be with her as much as Chris wanted to be with Jessie. But no, she just used people.
"Come on," she said.
"No."
"Yes. I'm leaving and so are you. Get up."
Jessie wanted to argue, but she knew Chris would not leave her here alone. Despite the fact that she had hurt her. Yes, Jessie hurt her. Intentionally. This beautiful woman with such kindness in her eyes, Jessie had turned their mutual attraction into a game. She was very sorry, but she couldn't find the words to explain, so she said nothing.
She followed Chris silently down the trail, several steps behind her. At the trailhead, Jessie stopped at the Jeep but Chris opened the door and climbed in. Their eyes met and Jessie saw none of the warmth that she was used to seeing in her blue eyes. She saw hurt and pain and a hint of anger. She didn't blame her. She stepped aside as Chris pulled away and walked numbly to her car.
Chapter Twenty
Dinner with Annie was the hardest thing Chris had ever endured in her life. Annie was full of questions about the accident and Chris filled her in, but the usual banter between them was missing. Annie commented that Chris was unusually quiet, but Chris passed it off to exhaustion. She so badly wanted to confide in Annie about Jessie, but she knew Annie would never forgive her for not telling her that Jessie was here. The painting that Annie had done for her was finished and it turned out to be beautiful, even to her inexperienced eye, and she told Annie as much. She hung it over the mantel as soon as she got home.
She had not even been tempted to drive to Jessie's cabin. She was still very angry at both Jessie and herself. And for the life of her, she couldn't imagine what had happened. Maybe that was what Jessie was used to. A quick fuck and hey, see you around. But that had never been Chris's style. Even her teasing words to Jessie about making trips to Sacramento to the bars was mostly talk. Only once had Chris taken a woman up on her offer and then, only after several drinks. She had regretted it the next morning and hadn't been back since.
But with Jessie, Chris had allowed her attraction to overtake her good sense. But what they had done, however brief, could hardly be called making love. And on the ledge, for God's sake. Had they actually been in the throes of passion, they could have both tumbled off into the canyon.
But it didn't matter. Lesson learned. And it was true. Jessie had tried to warn her. She just hadn't believed it.
It was after the third day and no sign of Jessie when Chris broke down and drove to cabin number seven. She found it empty. The door was locked and she walked around to the back porch. The chairs were standing neatly against the cabin and she pressed her face against the window and peered inside. Empty. All of Jessie's things were gone and Chris told herself that she was glad, that she didn't want anything more to do with Jessie Stone, but she knew she was lying. She really was worried about her. Without realizing what she was doing, she stopped the Jeep at Mary Ruth's and met her on the porch.
"Oh, she left three days ago. Didn't even see her, though. There was just a note and the key left on the porch here."
Chris figured Jessie must have gone straight to the cabin and packed and left that same night. Well, it was probably for the best.
Her days returned to normal. The excitement over the murders had died down like they knew it would, and their weekends were again busy with hikers and campers hitting the trails before winter came. They were well into September and the first snowfall of the season wouldn't be far behind.
Chapter Twenty-one
Jessie waited in the reception area, early for her appointment for once. She wore black jeans and a black vest, with a wrinkled white T-shirt underneath, comfortable in her athletic shoes. Probably the only one in the building who was. High heels and hose, suits and ties were everywhere. Back in the city, she thought. She had been back nearly two weeks, but she had not left her apartment once. She had sat for hours, just thinking. She thought of Chris a lot, especially of how they had left things between them. She wondered if Chris would ever forgive her. She wouldn't blame her if she didn't. She thought of Annie, too. She wondered what she would be like and she acknowledged that she didn't really know her. They had shared a house for seventeen years, but Jessie had no idea of her likes and dislikes or anything else about her. Chris had been right. She probably did know Annie better than Jessie ever would. She tried not to think about Jack, but long buried memories kept creeping in, memories that she wished she could still forget.
"Ms. Stone, she's ready," the receptionist told her pleasantly.
Jessie walked confidently into Dr. Davies' office and offered a smile.
"Well, so glad you're back. I was surprised to find your name on the appointment list."
Jessie shrugged.
"You look well. Did everything go okay?"