* * *
AND IN THE YEARS that followed he had done his best to show her that she could trust that the passion between them was only the foundation for something deeper, stronger. It had not been his fault that her wariness was too intense for him to overcome.
As it was right now, she thought as she looked at him.
“Come to me, Jane,” Trevor said again.
She didn’t move.
“I’m not going to make love to you,” he said softly. “It’s not the time. I just want to hold you and share whatever you’re feeling. Does that sound so bad?”
It sounded wonderful. Too wonderful. She stiffened. “I’m not that weak. I don’t need anyone to—Oh, dammit.” She ran across the room and the next moment he’d pulled her into his arms and on his lap.
She burrowed her face in his shoulder. “Just for a minute. Okay?”
“Whatever you say.” His arms tightened around her. “Personally, I prefer forever, but I realize you have limits. I’ll work on the rest.”
“I don’t want to talk.”
“You never did. Not about anything important.” His lips brushed her temple. “I didn’t care at the time. I knew you weren’t ready for commitment. I thought we had all the time in the world. But lately I’ve realized that even a day is too precious to waste.” He leaned back in the chair. “Shh, okay, no more talk.”
Minutes passed in silence. She could feel the beating of his heart beneath her ear. How often had he held her like this when they were together? She had missed this closeness, missed him. “You’re being very good to me,” she said haltingly. “Why?”
“Caleb gave me orders.” He chuckled. “I have to keep an eye on you.”
“Stop joking. I mean why did you come to help me when you heard about Eve? We weren’t together any longer. There were never any promises between us. You didn’t owe me anything.”
“I made a promise to myself. I told you what it was.” His hand gently brushed the hair at his temple. “Part of the way I feel about you is all mixed up with making sure all goes well with you in the little things as well as the big ones. That’s why you’ll never have to worry that I’ll ever try to dominate or crush your spirit. I want you to be happy. I need that for you. You can’t be happy without Eve, so I have to give you Eve.”
“She has to live, Trevor,” she whispered. “We have to find her.”
“We will.” He got to his feet and carried her toward the bed. “And now you’re going to take a nap, then have something to eat.” He lay down beside her, holding her close. “Damn, you look fragile.” His lips tightened. “Why not? You are fragile, or you’d never have let me cuddle you like this.”
“I wanted you to hold me. It was … good.”
His arms tightened. “Present tense. It is good. Future tense. It will always be good.” He raised his head to look down at her. “You said I didn’t owe you anything, but that wasn’t true. I’m a cynical bastard, but you came into my life and taught me something that I never thought I’d learn.” He kissed her gently. “I never loved anyone until you came along, Jane. You opened the gates.”
Opened the gates …
Yes, she could see the gates swinging open, and beyond them, a treasure was glowing, beckoning.
Or was that Trevor?
“I want to…” She reached up and touched his lips with her finger. “I feel … I want you to be happy. I’ve always wanted that for you. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for a commitment. You’re probably better off without me.”
“Hush.” He took her palm and pressed it on his lips. “I’ll never give up. I’m in this for the long haul.” He smiled down at her. “And I have an idea that we’re closer than you think. Someday soon, you’re going to say that you can’t live without me.” He tucked her head into the hollow of his shoulder. “Hell, I’m halfway there, and that’s—” He broke off and pushed her away. “You’re warm.” His hand touched her forehead. “How do you feel?”
“Okay.” She moistened her lips. “I overdid it today. It’s natural that I should run a little temperature.” She closed her eyes. “Now let me take that nap.” She could feel his gaze on her face. “One hour, then I’ll eat something. Then I’ll be fine.”
Silence. She was afraid that he was going to argue with her. Please, don’t do it. She didn’t know how much of her strength remained.
“One hour,” he finally repeated after a moment as he drew her back into his arms. “Then we’ll assess the situation.”
Driftwood Cottage
“OPEN YOUR EYES, BITCH. There’s nothing wrong with you. Wake up.”
Doane’s hand stung Eve’s cheek, and her head jerked back.
Bonnie was gone, Eve realized hazily. She’d been here only seconds ago, but now she was gone.
Her eyes slowly opened to see Doane’s face in front of her. His cheeks were flushed, and he was glaring at her with anger … and fear.
Fear? What was he afraid—
Doane struck her again. “Stop pretending. Talk to me.”
“Why are you hitting me?” Her voice was a little slurred. She shook her head to clear it. “Unless it’s just for sheer pleasure.” Then she understood as she saw his relief. “You thought you’d killed me. You were scared that all your great plans were going to be destroyed by a little carelessness on your part.” She grimaced. “Actually, a big carelessness. Evidently, you should monitor the quantity of drugs you give me if you want me alive for the grand finale. Kevin would never have been that clumsy.”
“You seem to be recovering very quickly. You were probably just pretending as I said. I knew it.” He was untying the ropes binding her. “And you appear to be cheerful enough.”
“Not cheerful.” But Eve realized she was more steady and serene than she had been for days. The hours with Bonnie had given her the joy and hope that she usually brought to Eve. “But judging from your expression, I probably had a more enjoyable experience tied up and unconscious than you did. No luck finding Kevin’s nuke? What a pity he didn’t trust you. How could he expect you to do his bidding if you were—”
“He did trust me,” he said through set teeth. “I won’t tolerate your sarcasm, Eve. I told you that he died before he could tell me what I needed to know. And I wasn’t out looking for those nuclear devices. I had to see Cartland, one of Kevin’s cell members, to make sure he’d be ready to send someone to activate them when I was ready.”
“When you found out where they were,” she corrected softly. “Aren’t you afraid this Cartland will laugh at you when he finds out that you’re just a puppet trying to be a big, bad terrorist?”
“All I have to do is make one phone call, and I’ll know where they are.”
“Then why didn’t you make the call?”
“There are difficulties.” He cuffed her left wrist to the arm of the chair. “But I’m going to make it right away. Kevin always meant me to have the information. I just have to convince—” He stopped. “But difficulties are meant to be overcome.”
“And is Cartland ready to go when you give the nod?”
He nodded curtly. “I never doubted his eagerness. Just that he had a team still able to function quickly.”
She was tempted to give him another verbal jab, but that would have only given her satisfaction. She had found Doane liked to talk about his plans and machinations to her because he regarded her as no threat. In his eyes, she was already a dead woman, but she was never sure when that information might possibly be a lifesaver. So keep him talking and store up facts and impressions. “Who do you have to call? Who did Kevin trust more than he did you?”
He didn’t answer.
She tilted her head. “Someone he knew in the service? Maybe one of his al-Qaeda buddies?”
“Of course not,” he said shortly. He turned and headed for the door. “I’m tired of listening to you. Damn you to hell. You’re always clawing, biting at me. You’re just like her. I’m going outside to make my call.”