“Pongo is getting to be a pretty good watchdog,” she told him as she reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of tea.
“Yeah. I can see that. What would he do if someone broke in, lick the man’s toe?”
Georgeanne laughed and shut the door. “Probably, but he’d bark like mad first. Having Pongo around is better than installing a house alarm. It’s kind of weird, but I feel safer when he’s in the house.” She placed the envelope on the counter and filled a glass.
“Next time I’ll buy you a real dog.” John took a few steps toward her and reached for the tea. “No ice. Thanks.”
“There better not be a next time.”
“There’s always a next time, Georgie,” he said, and raised the glass to his lips, his eyes watching her as he took a long drink.
“Are you sure you don’t want some ice?”
He shook his head and lowered the tea. He sucked moisture from his lips as his gaze slid over her breasts to her thighs, then traveled back up to her face. “That dress has been driving me crazy all day long. It reminds me of that little pink wedding dress you had on the first time I saw you.”
She looked down. “This is nothing like that dress.”
“It’s short and it’s pink.”
“That dress was a lot shorter, strapless, and so tight I couldn’t breathe.”
“I remember.” He smiled and leaned one hip against the counter. “All the way to Copalis, you kept pulling at the top and yanking at the bottom. It was seductive as hell, like an erotic tug-of-war. I kept watching to see which half would win.”
Georgeanne rested one shoulder against the refrigerator, and folded her arms. “I’m surprised you remember all of that. As I recall, you didn’t like me very much.”
“And as I recall, I liked you more than was wise.”
“Only when I was naked. The rest of the time, you were fairly rude.”
He frowned at the tea in his hand, then looked back at her. “I don’t remember it quite that way, but if I was rude to you, it wasn’t personal. My life was a pile of shit back then. I was drinking way too much and doing all I could to ruin my career and myself.” He paused and took a deep breath. “Do you remember when I told you that I was married before?”
“Of course.” How could she possibly forget about DeeDee and Linda?
“Well, what I didn’t tell you was that Linda killed herself. I found her dead in our bathtub. She’d sliced her wrists with a razor blade, and for a lot of years, I blamed myself.”
Shocked speechless, Georgeanne stared at him. She didn’t know what to say or do. Her first impulse was to wrap her arms around his waist and tell him she was sorry, but she held back.
He took another drink, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “The truth of it is, I didn’t love her. I was a lousy husband, and I only married her because she was pregnant. When the baby died, there wasn’t anything holding us together anymore. I wanted out of the marriage. She didn’t.”
An ache tightened her chest. She knew John, and she knew he must have been devastated. She wondered why he was telling her about it now. Why would he trust her with something so painful? “You had a baby?”
“Yeah. He was born premature and died a month later. Toby would be eight now.”
“I’m sorry,” was the only thing she could think to say. She couldn’t even imagine losing Lexie.
He set the glass on the counter beside Georgeanne, then he took her hand in his. “Sometimes I wonder what he’d be like if he’d lived.”
She looked into his face and once again felt that warm little glow about her heart. He cared for her. Maybe trust and caring could turn to something more.
“I wanted to tell you about Linda and Toby for two reasons. I wanted you to know about them, and I want you to know that even though I’ve been married twice, I’m not going to make the same mistakes. I won’t marry again because a child is involved, or because of lust. It will be because I’m crazy in love.”
His words doused Georgeanne’s warm little glow like a bucket of ice water, and she pulled her hand from his. They had a child together, and it was no secret John was attracted to her physically. He’d never promised her anything but a good time, but she’d done it again. She’d let herself hope for things she couldn’t have, and knowing it hurt so much the backs of her eyes stung. “Thank you for sharing, John, but I just can’t appreciate your honesty right now,” she said as she moved toward the front door. “I think you better leave.”
“What?” He sounded incredulous as he followed close behind her. “I thought I was getting somewhere.”
“I know you did. But you can’t come over here whenever you feel like sex and just expect me to tear off my clothes and oblige you.” She failed to control her trembling chin as she pulled the front door open. She wanted him gone before she fell apart completely.
“Is that what you think? That you’re just a lay?”
Georgeanne tried not to flinch. “Yes.”
“What the hell is happening here?” He yanked the door out of her grasp and slammed it shut. “I spill my guts and you jump up and down on my insides! I’m honest with you, and you think I’m trying to get in your pants.”
“Honest? You’re only honest when you want something. You lie to me all the time.”
“When have I lied to you?”
“Your lawyer, for one,” she reminded him.
“That wasn’t really a lie, it was an omission.”
“It was a lie, and you lied to me again today.”
“When?”
“At the church. You told me Virgil had moved on, that he was over what happened seven years ago. But you know he isn’t.”
He leaned back on his heels and frowned at her. “What did he say?”
“That you wouldn’t choose me over your team. What did he mean?” she asked, and waited for him to enlighten her.
“The truth?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, he threatened to trade me to another hockey team if I get involved with you, but it doesn’t matter. Forget about Virgil. He’s just mad because I got a piece of what he wanted.”
Georgeanne leaned against the wall. “Me?”
“You.”
“That’s all I am to you?” She looked at him.
He blew out his breath and ran his fingers though the sides of his hair. “If you think I only came over here to get my rocks off, you’re wrong.”
She let her gaze travel to the bulge in his wool trousers, then back up to his face. “Am I?”
Anger stained his cheeks and he clenched his jaw. “Don’t take what I feel for you and turn it into something dirty. I want you, Georgeanne. All you have to do is walk in a room, and I want you. I want to kiss you, and touch you, and make love to you. My physical response is natural, and I won’t apologize for it.”
“And in the morning you’ll be gone, and I’ll be alone again.”
“That’s horseshit.”
“It’s happened twice.”
“Last time, you ran out on me.”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter who ran out which time. It will end the same. You won’t mean to hurt me, but you will.”
“I don’t want to hurt you. I want to make you feel good, and if you were honest with me, like you wish me to be with you, you’d admit that you want me, too.”
“No.”
His eyes narrowed. “I hate that word.”
“Sorry, but there’s too much between us to have it any other way.”
“Are you still trying to punish me for what happened seven years ago, or is it just an excuse?” He planted his hands on the wall next to her head. “What are you afraid of?”
“Not you.”
He cupped her chin in his palm. “Liar. You’re afraid Daddy isn’t going to love you.”
Her breath caught in her lungs. “That was cruel.”
“Maybe, but it’s the truth.” His thumb slipped across her closed lips. He wrapped his free hand around her wrist. “You’re afraid to reach out and take what you want, but I’m not. I know what I want.” He slid her palm across his hard chest and down the buttons of his shirt. “Are you still trying to be a good girl so Daddy will notice you? Well, guess what, baby doll,” he whispered as he moved her hand to the front of his pants and pressed his thick erection into her palm. “I noticed.”