“Did you hear old Bailey once fired an eight-month pregnant desk clerk because she was five minutes late because of false labor pains?”
“Or did you hear about the time the bell hop left one piece of luggage at the front desk and old Dill baby tripped over it and fell flat on his face? That poor guy was fired before the elevator door was fully shut.”
’”How about the time the French chef at the Palisades put too many blueberries in the soufflé, Bailey ranted and raved for two whole hours about how the price of fresh fruit was bankrupting the entire operation.”
Dilford Bailey was definitely not one to tangle with. His strictness and adherence to the rules had pleased many a rich hotel owner and he could pick his choice of prestigious hotels to manage. That was why he now was the chief honcho of this new elaborate state of the arts resort. His six months of meticulous planning and attention to detail, including the exact placement of the tremendous floral displays decorating the enormous lobby was now coming to a head. The grand opening was at noon today with more than one thousand guests and visitors expecting to overflow the ballroom and adjacent well-manicured grounds. Bailey had hand picked his staff from a large turn out of applicants, each one pre-qualified over an extensive six month search of all the great hotels and resorts in the country. Ads were placed in newspapers in all the major cities promising top pay, excellent benefits, free room and board and the promise of being on the staff of the newest, best designed, computer controlled resort in the world. The criteria of the job published in the newspapers was the applicant had to be well-educated, very experienced, good work history and impeccable credentials. What wasn’t stated and was kept away from all but the people in the know was the applicants had to be attractive, intelligent and young. Definite qualifications for a discrimination suit. Dilford Bailey wanted only the best for his resort.
The misty swirls of early morning fog shrouded the pale green saucer-size leaves of the many lily pads that lined the dew soaked shore of the man-made lake. The bright stalks of the aquatic flowers stood at attention in the stillness of the day’s beginning. The cawing of distant crows, flying a predetermined course for their early morning meal, echoed faintly over the quiet of the peaceful terrain. The many forest animals, some returning from their nightly forage for food and others just starting on their daily treks for survival, felt safe in their environment. The opossums and deer, the raccoons and rabbits, the squirrels and armadillos, all found relative peace now that the big earthmovers and draglines, pickup trucks and work crews had left their forest. No longer would the early morning quiet be shattered by the screeching fan belts and the earthy roar of the large diesel engines. Peace had returned to the woods and only the sounds of nature and the subdued voices of nature lovers interrupted the relative quiet of the area.
Jack Backlin, his carrot red hair glinting in the early morning rays of the sun, bent over the well formed bank of the lake and thrust his make shift spear into the azure blue water. Quietly, not wanting to disturb the tranquility of the early morning, he pointed his stubby index finger at the still vibrating palmetto stalk and whispered to his friend.
“Hey Billy, I think I got one. Those bass on the bed make really easy targets but the water is so deep I think the water deflects my spear every time. I felt something hard when I pushed down but I don’t see anything but a big swirl of sandy water. Do you think the fish will swim off and die or do you think we could wade in and try to find it?”
“You really think you hit one Jack?” Billy whispered back. “Our dad’s would be proud of us if we brought home a big largemouth bass our first time out, huh. I don’t know about wading in the water though. These new short and shirt outfits our moms bought would probably stay wet for hours and we’d be murdered when we got back. If we can’t find your fish from the bank, we should probably go after another one. Just look how many we’ve seen in the short time we’ve been here. I just know we will see another easy target and maybe I’ll get lucky this time...
“Okay Billy. I know you’re always right even though you’re only one year older than me. It doesn’t matter though, you know the old saying, there are always more fish in the sea. Yuck, yuck.”
“Gee Jack. You’re a real comedian. Come on let’s get another fish. You never know the lake might dry up. Yea right.”
The two boys had been up since six o’clock and neither was the least bit tired after the long drive to the resort. They hurriedly gotten dressed and impatiently waited for the rest of their family members to get up. They spent the night in one motel room they shared with their older sisters while both sets of parents had adjoining rooms on each side of them. The two girls
had stayed up most of the night giggling and talking about boys and different clothes they bought but the two young boys had fallen asleep shortly after watching a sit-com on the motel room TV.
Jack and Billy finally woke up the protesting girls and while they were getting dressed the boys knocked on both of their parents’ motel rooms announcing they were more than ready to eat breakfast. The two boys were allowed to wait by the large swimming pool until their parents were ready and very excited about being able to spend the day playing around the grounds of the resort and the lake while their parents attended the grand opening. The girls after meeting the parents and the two little brothers had gotten permission to do whatever they wanted after eating as long as they promised not to elope with any of the local boys. The delicious breakfast in the
dining room gave everyone in the group a nice warm feeling in their stomachs and they separated into their own little groups after exiting the dining room.
Darwood Mackenzie was a klutz. He had been a klutz as long as anyone could remember. His feet had grown a lot faster than the rest of his gangling body, he wore size twelve shoes when he was ten years old, and they seemed to be controlled by something entirely alien to the rest of his body. He could trip over an ant if he wasn’t careful and Darwood was hardly ever careful.
In grammar school he had been ridiculed by his classmates.
“Hey Dar, you will always go far but in the wrong direction.”
This harmless joking had no profound effect on Darwood because he took it as a form of adoration from his fellow classmates which, in reality it was. He was well liked but really funny to look at. His scarecrow appearance with ears too large and carrot colored hair with an ample supply of freckles, topped off, or in this case, bottomed off with clown size feet, brought a smile even to the most serious minded teacher at the school. If the children were reprimanded by a scholar to quit teasing Darwood, the children would break out in a series of giggles that would eventually cause even the teacher to start smirking. Yes, Darwood was a real trip but really an enjoyable voyage.
Darwood at age seventeen was still funny looking and just as awkward but, his warm friendly smile put even Dilford Bailey, the manager, at ease. Darwood was the one exception to the manager’s strict employment regulations but, as happens in a lot of businesses, nepotism rules and Dilford Bailey was Darwood’s uncle. No one, except the uncle and nephew knew this and Bailey threatened to fire Darwood on the spot if anyone ever found out. Darwood’s job, in the bright morning sunlight was to clean off the tennis courts at the resort. It wasn’t Dilford Bailey’s responsibility to have this done but with all the guest coming for the grand opening and knowing that the corporation had somehow slipped the ball on this task he had asked Darwood if he would mind doing this job for him and he had immediately volunteered to do it. Darwood knew he was clumsy and cleaning off the tennis courts with an air blower seemed like a perfect task. How could he screw up he thought as he had gotten the gasoline blower out of the maintenance shed where it rested on its own personal hook? He checked the gasoline and oil mix, decided if was full enough and started to walk towards the courts. He got around the edge of the swimming pool and had his first calamity. A water hose, lying in the grass, being used to top off the level of water in the pool would’ve posed no problem to anyone else, but Darwood was Darwood. He stepped carefully over the bright yellow hose, placing his large foot slowly down on the bright green grass. Unbeknown to Darwood, there was a sprinkler head, also bright green, hidden in the grass and it was still slippery from the early morning dew. His size twelve foot landed squarely on the head and slipped just as quickly off. This forward motion of his right foot caused Darwood to fall backwards and his arms went up and backwards as he tried to catch himself. Unfortunately, the air blower was in his hands and the sudden motion caused the air blower to shoot upwards out of his hands and backwards toward the pool.