Julian pulled away abruptly, leaving her awkward and unsatisfied.
“No.” He stood quickly. “You are not in control of this. I did not give you permission to come.”
He stepped away and went back to the couch. Dani felt tears well in her eyes. What had just happened? One minute she was close to her first honest-to-god man-given orgasm, and the next she was sitting alone and naked.
“Should I get dressed?” The quicker she got out of there, the better.
“If you like. Just say your safe word, and we’ll be done.”
He sounded so cold. It was like there hadn’t been a bit of heat between them. The connection she’d felt between them had been severed, and now she wondered if there had really been one in the first place. His cock was still standing straight up, but there was no passion on his face. He was obviously an experienced lover. He could more than likely give her the orgasm of a lifetime, but was that really what she needed?
She forced herself to smile, even as she felt tears roll down her cheeks. She knew it probably summed up her existence quite neatly, smile through it all because she wouldn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. “Hippopotamus. I’m sorry I couldn’t…I just didn’t understand. I still don’t. I appreciate you helping me out, though.”
She pushed herself off the couch. It was leather, so she winced as she peeled herself up. So awkward. That summed up her life, too. It was time to get her clothes and call Finn and figure out what to do. He would be mad, but he would stick by her. Dani reached for her panties.
Julian had gotten up when she did. He stood there unmoving, his face still. His pants were on top of hers. She picked them up and held them out to him.
“Do you want these?”
“No.” He sounded as though he couldn’t believe his answer.
“No? Do you want me to get you something else?”
“Did I frighten you? I didn’t mean to.”
She shook her head, well aware that she still wasn’t wearing much. “No, it wasn’t that. I just changed my mind. I’m not cut out for this.”
“But you are. You are very submissive.”
She pulled the shirt over her head, his every word making her more certain of her decision. “See, you keep calling me that. Maybe I am submissive. Maybe I’m a sub, as you say, but I’m Dani, too. You talk about contracts, and I don’t know what you mean. You talk about training me. I want to know what your childhood was like. I want to know what TV shows you watch and what makes you laugh. I’m completely fascinated by you, and you want to train me. I might be submissive, but I know when I’m wanted, and I’m just convenient for you. I wanted this to be different. I’ve been convenient all my life. I want to be special. I won’t ever be that to you, Mr. Lodge.” She pulled her jeans on and shoved the bra into her pocket with shaky hands. She would probably regret this for the rest of her life. “I’ll go back to the main house and call a friend to come get me. Thanks again.”
She made it to the front door when he pulled her back by the elbow.
“I don’t watch television beyond the news and the occasional financial report and baseball. I like baseball. I don’t talk about that with the guys because I don’t have some group of guys. I have subs, and for the last six months I haven’t even had those. I don’t really laugh a lot. And, I haven’t had sex in more than twenty years that wasn’t fully detailed and covered by a contract between myself and the person or people I was having sex with. Yes, I said people, as in more than one. I’ve had sex with men and women, sometimes at the same time. I don’t know how to not be in control. I have to be in control.”
His voice was as calm and controlled as an anchor reporting the nightly news. There was nothing about his face or manner that told Danielle he was feeling anything at all, but she knew he was. She felt his hand tighten on her wrist as though he was afraid if he let go, she would flee. Her heart softened. He didn’t not care. He was afraid to. She might not be his dream woman, but he did need something from her. She brought her free hand up to cup his cheek. She thought she might be imagining it, but she felt him move into her hand, as though savoring the contact.
“All right, Sir.”
He shook his head. “The session is over. You said your safe word.”
Always in control. She let her hand slide from his face. She couldn’t help herself. She went up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. He was absolutely the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, and he’d been kind to her. She wished the night had ended differently. “All right. Good night, then.”
“Don’t go.” There was a hoarseness in his voice as he hauled her against his chest.
She tipped her head up to look at him. He was still remote, but now, pressed against him, she could feel the heat of his body, the fine shudder that went through him as his hands wrapped around her waist. He pulled the T-shirt back over her head, and his mouth was on hers. This was different than before. He plundered her mouth. His tongue moved against hers, his hands tightened on her waist. She was pulled close to his body, his cock nudging her belly insistently. He tipped her head back, his hold just short of painful. One hand tugged at her hair, and the other found its way to the cheeks of her ass. She was pushed and pulled into the position Julian wanted her in, but she didn’t fight, didn’t even think about it this time. He needed this. He needed to be in control, and he needed her.
When he started to pull at the waist of her jeans, she wiggled her hips, helping him shove them to the ground. There was no thought to folding the clothes. He tossed each and every piece he pulled off her body to the ground. Dani groaned as he left her mouth and kissed his way down her neck.
“Spread your legs.” He growled a little as he issued the order.
She opened herself to him. His hand immediately trailed over her stomach and teased at her pussy.
“Are you getting wet, Danielle?”
She sighed a little. “Yes. I’ve never been so wet in my life.”
And yet she wasn’t embarrassed by it. The hungry look in Julian’s eyes as he knelt down in front of her made her feel hot and wild. Unlike the awkward moments before, she wasn’t the only one desperate for this. She wasn’t alone. She spread her legs and squirmed when Julian’s big fingers slid across her clit. His hand came out and slapped her ass.
“No moving. This body is mine for the night. Mine.”
The possessive way he said “mine” caused a fresh coat of arousal to gush from her body. She heard Julian groan his approval, but held herself still. His fingers played in her pussy while his tongue delved into her navel. He kissed a path down until his mouth was right over her pussy. She could feel the heat of his breath. She moaned as he shoved a single finger up her cunt.
“Tight. You’re going to be so fucking tight.”
Yes, she was going to be tight because that cock of his was a monster, and damn if she wasn’t ready to ride it. Her hands became fists at her sides as Julian’s dark head leaned over, and she felt the first strong glide of his tongue against her clit. He worked her clit over and over, sliding across it with firm pressure, eating her pussy as if she was a delicious treat he couldn’t get enough of. He licked all the way down to her slit where his finger curled up inside her, coaxing and pumping into her cunt.
“All right, come for me, Danielle. Come all over my mouth.”
There was no denying his deep, commanding voice, and she couldn’t resist his mouth. He fucked her with his fingers, and his teeth bit down slightly on her clit, sending shock waves of pleasure shooting across her body. Dani screamed, her hands winding into Julian’s thick hair. The orgasm spread across her body, a wildfire she didn’t want to put out. It was so far beyond anything she’d ever felt. The pleasure coursed through it, hot at first, and then a languid laziness stole through her bones as sweet in its way as the orgasm itself. Her hands came out of her lover’s hair, and she thought about trying to get to the couch. Her heart was racing, her breath pounding out, her mind drugged with the experience. She giggled a little because she couldn’t get her legs to move. Julian stood, and she leaned into his chest, needing his strength to continue standing.