The night before, he’d forced himself to roll out of bed and walk away from her. He’d grabbed a pillow and blanket and slept very little. The way she felt, the little moans she made, the soft submission she’d given to him completely naturally had kept him awake most of the night. She’d been perfect, and for the first time in a very long time, Julian had lost himself in the sex.
It wasn’t what he’d intended at all. He’d intended to warm her up and then take her up to the playroom. He had planned on introducing her to the pleasures of Dominance and submission. It was supposed to be a teaching session. He was the Master, and she the slave. He was in control.
He’d meant to have sex. He’d had no plans to make love.
Julian didn’t lie to himself. It was a self-defeating exercise. He’d made love to Danielle. He’d taken her without a contract, without any thought put into it. He’d simply felt. He’d felt her heat and softness, her willingness to please him. She’d flowered under his dominance, and he hadn’t been able to hold himself back.
It was a relief to see her go. Danielle Bay could be very disruptive.
“I’ll handle Abby. She means well. She just wants everyone to be as happy as she is.” Jackson strode to the love seat where Julian’s shirt from last night lay folded. He picked it up and tossed it back Julian’s way. “Come on. The livestock don’t give a damn that you have woman troubles.”
Julian shrugged into his shirt and slipped into his shoes, hurrying to keep up with Jack. “I do not have woman troubles.”
His woman troubles had very conveniently driven off, leaving him alone, and that was how he liked it. Danielle had the very good sense to know when to leave, and Julian had shown remarkable restraint in letting her go. Julian buttoned his shirt as he wondered exactly where Danielle was going. Home? He was given to understand that she had already moved her things to her fiancé’s home. How would she handle getting her belongings back? Would that little prick who’d come for her this morning take care of her?
Julian had to check himself. Finn Taylor had narrowly avoided being knocked on his ass and shown his place in the world. Julian had had the most ferocious urge to take the little shit by the back of his neck, shove him to the ground, and not allow him to get back up until he’d acknowledged who his Master was. The instant he’d seen Finn, Julian had a sexual reaction to the younger man. It had proven to him beyond a shadow of a doubt that Danielle wasn’t for him. He’d known the second a vision of himself between the two of them flashed across his brain that he would let Danielle go.
He really needed to take new subs. It was starting to affect him in undesirable ways.
Jackson strode across the lawn. The early morning air was warm, and the sky above was seemingly endless. Julian stopped and stared at the perfect blue sky. It was quiet and calm after this morning’s roiling emotion.
“Nice, huh?” Jackson had a tranquil expression on his face as he stood and looked up at the big sky. “You don’t get this in the city. You don’t get to feel like you’re the only person in the whole world. This is what I love. This is why I get up early, you know. I get up before Abby and Sam and the kids, and I get a whole hour when everything is quiet.” He frowned suddenly. “Which is why I nearly took that little shit’s head off this morning. He interrupted my alone time. Do you know how hard it is to get alone time with two babies in the house?”
He turned on his boot heels and made a beeline for a large structure Julian was a bit worried was an actual working barn. When the smell hit him, he was certain. Definitely a barn.
When he followed, he saw several stalls. Each looked to be carefully maintained and contained a prime piece of horseflesh. It was surprisingly quiet and peaceful in the barn. There was only the sound of the horses breathing and Jackson speaking soothingly. Jackson was running his hand over the snout of a large brown horse.
“This must be Ranger.” Julian had heard all about Jackson’s favorite horse. It was a magnificent animal. Jackson tossed him a bright orange carrot.
“Make friends, Julian. Ranger here is like everyone else. He has to be courted. Hold it by the stalk, or he might decide your fingers are tasty, too.”
Yes, the horse was obviously like all creatures, willing to take far more than he wanted to give. Still, if he was careful, Julian knew he could control this as he did everything in his life. He held the carrot out, and the horse nickered gratefully before biting down.
“Let’s take a ride, my friend. You’ve been on horseback before, right?”
Julian shook his head. “Despite the fact that I’m a native Texan, I’ve rarely been in the country. They don’t allow horses in my condo.”
Jackson threw back his head and laughed. He walked over to another stall and started prepping a second horse, this one black and powerful-looking. “Oh, I am going to have so much fun this week. By the end of it, Sam and I will have you riding like a pro. We’ll make a cowboy out of you, yet.”
Julian wasn’t sure he wanted to be a cowboy but figured he would handle it like he’d handled everything. He would figure out the tasks Jackson gave him and master them with intelligence and discipline. Discipline was the key to everything.
He hadn’t been able to properly discipline Danielle. He’d only spanked her the once, but she’d responded beautifully. The flesh of her ass had pinkened and gotten warm to the touch. Her breath had started out in gasps and fits and then become softer and more languid. Truly submissive. By the time he was done, she was relaxed and dreamy. If he’d ordered her to her knees to suck his cock, she would have done so. She wouldn’t have thought about the fact that they weren’t alone. She simply would have followed instructions because pleasing him was part of what gave her pleasure. He could have molded her to be exactly the type of slave he’d always wanted.
Julian leaned against the wooden fence of the stall as Ranger continued to chew. He could have molded Danielle, but why? He’d molded Sally into exactly what he wanted and kept her for years past that first contract, and still, he’d been compelled to give her away. He’d been comfortable with Sally, but the restlessness had taken over. Maybe he did lie to himself. Maybe what he wanted and what he needed were two different things.
“See, I can hear you thinking from here.” Jackson eased a blanket over the black horse’s back.
“Well, I will try to think more quietly then.”
“Don’t. I’m deeply enjoying your confusion.”
Julian turned to face his oldest friend. He thought briefly about dismissing the subject, but decided to try that friendly discussion thing Leo said he lacked. “Well, I am not. And I’m not really confused. I’m simply surprised that I allowed myself to be pulled into Danielle’s problems.”
Deep green eyes assessed him. “Oh, you’re confused. Dani knocked you flat on your ass the same way Abby knocked me on mine.”
He was not going there. “This is nothing like what happened between you and Abigail. I don’t even understand what happened between you and Abigail.”
Jackson cinched the saddle into place and moved to get Ranger ready, too. “If you don’t understand it, how can you say it’s not the same?”
“I have no intentions of marrying Danielle. I’m not serious about her.” But it had felt serious the night before. He could admit that to himself. Making love to Danielle had been a little like sitting in front of a warm fire on a hot night. He’d huddled too close and gotten a bit singed.
Jackson worked with skill and had the horse saddled quickly. He had his hands on the reins as he opened the stall door. “I wasn’t serious about Abby, Julian. It was just a fun little fling. It was never supposed to go beyond a night or two. One day I just woke up and there was a ring on my finger, and I had to deal with it.”