And that was precisely why Julian wouldn’t do anything like this again. “Thank you for making my point. As it happens, I’ve changed my mind about contracts. I don’t think I’ll sign another. I think I’ll keep everything casual from now on. Better for everyone.”
“It sure isn’t better for you. You’re not going to understand a word I say, but I’m going to say it anyway. Nothing is certain, but you got to try, man. You think I’m going to let the fact that my ex couldn’t handle my military service deter me from finding someone else, someone to spend my life with? I’m looking. When I find her, I’m sure not going to let past heartaches keep me from future happiness.”
Julian felt his fists clench. Sanctimonious prick. Leo had no idea what he was talking about. Julian hadn’t had his wife walk out. He’d had his world destroyed. First by an accident, and then by his uncle’s neglect. Jeremy had just pointed out to him that it could all happen again. He’d almost taken Danielle from him. The hole in his life would have been huge, and he’d only spent a few days with her. What if he brought Danielle and Finn to live with him? How much would he ache when they left? The only way to protect himself was to not give a shit. It protected him. It protected Danielle and Finn, too. He’d been the one to put them in danger. With the enemies he had, it could happen again. “Stay out of this, Leo.”
“I’ve stayed out of it for years. What are you so fucking afraid of?”
A low anger churned in his gut. Leo thought he could psychoanalyze him? Well, he knew a thing or two about his Dom in residence. Leo wasn’t as brave as he made himself out to be. “That is none of your business. And you’re quite the hypocrite to call me out. You have a doctorate, and yet you spend your time in a BDSM club spanking submissives. What a crock. Why don’t we talk about what happened in Afghanistan, Leo? You talk about that, and maybe I’ll think about listening to you. You’ve used my club to hide for years, you little prick.”
Leo’s jaw firmed and a low snarl came from the back of his throat. “I might be hiding, but I’m not hurting anyone. I’m not letting people fall in love with me and then dumping them the minute the going gets a little tough. You know what? You’re a pussy.”
Julian practically teared up in joy. This was what he needed. He reared back and let his fist fly, connecting firmly with Leo’s jaw. The younger man’s head snapped back, but Julian wasn’t through with him. Not by a long shot. He struck again, sending him stumbling back out of the doorway and into the play room.
“Stop it, Julian!” Leo growled, holding his bleeding nose. “You hit me one more time, and I’ll hit back.”
There was nothing Julian wanted more. He punched Leo straight in his gut and was satisfied when he fell back over the spanking bench.
“Feel free to hit back,” Julian said.
Leo was on his feet in a second. “Maybe I’ll see if Dani wants to come to Dallas with me. You don’t give a fuck, right? I’d love to get into her panties. So soft. She looks so fucking sweet. Tell me something, Julian. How’s she in the sack?”
That hurt far worse than a fist to the gut. Julian was determined not to let the asshole see how much that hurt. The thought of his Danielle in Leo’s arms knocked the breath out of him, yet he was a consummate actor. “She’ll be quite suitable after she’s properly trained.”
There was a soft cry behind him, and Julian caught Leo’s grimace just before he turned and saw Danielle, Finn, and Jackson standing on the stairs. Danielle’s face was stark white and already tears were leaking. Finn’s hand curled into hers. Finn would always be there, his hand open to her, offering comfort and support.
Julian’s hands felt so cold.
“I didn’t think I was that bad.” Danielle’s eyes bore through him.
“He’s being an ass, Dani. He’s scared shitless, and he’s running,” Leo said. “It’s not a reflection on you.” Leo pushed past him. “And yeah, I know I’m fired. Hell, I quit. If this job is years more of watching you shut everyone out, then I don’t want it. It’s gone past pathetic.”
Leo strode out of the room.
Jackson moved to allow the former SEAL to leave, then turned back to Julian. “I take it you’re leaving? Would you even have said good-bye? Put aside the fact that you’re walking out on the people you’ve been sleeping with. You were going to walk out without even finding out whether or not my stepdaughter is alive.”
“I talked to you earlier.” It sounded like a pitiful excuse even to his ears.
Jackson was having none of it. “You know, I have always given you the benefit of the doubt. I know a little bit about your past, so I let you act like a cold, unfeeling bastard because I knew it was just armor to protect yourself. I know, man. I’ve been there. But there comes a time to take off the armor and take a fucking risk. You can’t live like this the rest of your life.”
He could. He was going to. He stared at Danielle and Finn. Danielle, for all her curves, looked delicate and fragile. Finn’s eyes had changed during the course of Jackson’s speech. They had gone from angry to something softer, something that looked much more like pity. Julian hated that look. He would have greatly preferred Finn smacked him. He would have taken it.
“Leo was right, baby,” Finn said quietly. “Don’t take it wrong. He’s in love, and he’s scared out of his mind. He’s not being a Dom right now. He’s just a man in the end.”
“No one asked your opinion, Finn.” Julian wondered why he wasn’t walking. He should simply walk out. His feet wouldn’t move. He felt planted to the floor.
Finn stepped away from Danielle. “I know, Sir. Look, I’m going to lay it on the line. I think I’m falling in love with you. I know Dani is. I think we could be something amazing. I think we could make it. I want you, and I want Dani. I want to live together, and if it works, I want to have a family. I think this is forever, but if it’s not for you, then we’ll move on. We’ll be like a person who loses a limb. We’ll always miss you, but we’ll learn to walk again. It won’t be the same, but we won’t let losing you ruin us. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Julian forced himself not to reach out and pull Finn in. The impulse was almost overwhelming, which was exactly the reason he should ignore it. He understood exactly what Finn was saying. Finn was saying that he, Julian, would be the only one to lose if he walked out. “It doesn’t matter, Finn. Believe what you want. This was a vacation fling for me. Nothing more.”
“You came for me.” Danielle stepped up. Her blonde hair had escaped the ponytail she wore, and it wisped around her face. She looked tired. She needed to be in bed, being coddled and loved back to life.
He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t love her. “I would have come for anyone. I’m quite the humanitarian.”
She shook her head. “No, you aren’t. You’re a bastard, but I love you anyway. Does that count for anything?”
He couldn’t let it count. “No, Danielle. I’m going to leave, and I won’t see you again.”
Now she would plead. She would cry, and it would hurt his heart, but he had to let her go.
“All right, then,” she said. There were tears in her eyes and a sadness that kicked him in the balls. “It wouldn’t have worked out anyway. I really, really hope you find someone. You just know that I’m out here, and I love you. If you need me, I’ll come.”