Anger rolled in his gut. “I asked her to marry me, Jack. She turned me down. So now who’s the asshole in this situation?”
Jack raised a single brow, and Leo had the sudden fear he’d been manipulated to the exact position Jack wanted him in. “I would say it’s you since she doesn’t have a ring on her finger or your protection.”
Leo took a deep breath to keep from shouting. His words came out quietly, but with pointed sarcasm. “Do you not understand the words ‘she turned me down’? I offered to save her from that hellacious marriage, and she told me to leave.”
“Yeah, I get what she told you to do. I just don’t understand why the hell you did it.”
Leo frowned, staring at the cowboy. “She didn’t want me.”
But those words were starting to sound like an excuse.
“Bullshit.” Jack leaned against the elegant railing. “I don’t claim to know exactly why she did it, but I would make a bet that she got it into her head that she was protecting you. Women do that with men they love. Don’t think for a minute that because they’re soft and submissive in bed that they don’t know how to protect what they love. I’ve never seen anything more ferocious than my Abigail when she thinks me or Sam or one of the kids could get hurt.”
How many times was he going to have to hear this argument? “That’s ridiculous, Jack. I’ve gone over this with her. I’m a freaking former SEAL. I can handle myself.”
“But she doesn’t want you to have to handle yourself. God, Leo, you spend all your time psychoanalyzing people but you’re playing blind when it comes to her.”
His head was starting to pound. None of this shit mattered. Barnes was pushing him. “No matter her reason for doing it, she was right. I was a crappy husband the first time around. I’m just glad Janine and I didn’t have kids or they would have to grow up the same way we did. Without a dad.”
Jack stopped and stared for a moment, and Leo wished he hadn’t opened his damn mouth. “I didn’t have a dad, either. It’s hard. I watched how hard it was on my momma. She struggled. And then she died and I didn’t have anyone. Tell me, Leo, do you think that affected the way I view marriage?”
Leo snorted. “Of course. Jack, I know where you’re going.”
“No, son, I don’t think you do. I don’t know that I would have married Abigail if Sam hadn’t been around. I wouldn’t have touched her because I would always have worried about what would become of her if something happened to me. I spent years having sex that didn’t mean anything, but Sam freed me. Sam would kill or die for our wife and our kids. If I left this earth tomorrow, Sam would be there. I don’t have to worry about Abby because we have Sam.”
“I don’t know if that can work for me. Jack, Abigail never tried to push you away.”
Jack leaned over and laughed. “Think you know everything, do you? Abigail kicked me out of her life before we got married. Abigail, sweet, loving Abigail, told me she didn’t love me. She told me I was only good for sex.”
Abby had done that? Leo couldn’t imagine it. Abby worshipped her husband. She looked at Jack like he was the sun in the sky. “Why would she say that?”
Jack’s eyes moved away, his mind obviously lost in memory. “She thought a little old lady was going to ruin my life and that I wouldn’t be able to stop it.”
Leo had to laugh a little. Jack Barnes was a ruthless son of a bitch. He’d built his ranch on hard work and by taking what he was owed. The thought of one small redhead trying to protect him seemed a little silly.
And yet hadn’t the fierce love Shelley had shown for her mother and brother been one of the very things he’d been attracted to?
An idea played at the back of Leo’s mind. A question he’d always wondered about.
Why had Shelley—beautiful, vivacious, smart Shelley—why had she married someone like Bryce Hughes?
He’d never asked, a bit afraid of finding out she’d been madly in love. What if she’d had different reasons?
Emotion, regret, and no small amount of fear threatened to well up inside. “What did you do, Jack? What did you do when Abby told you to leave?”
Leo was pretty damn sure Jack Barnes hadn’t turned away.
“I didn’t even think about it. I knew that woman. That woman has held a piece of my soul since the day she was born. I told her if she left that I would follow her. I told her that if she didn’t love me, then that was okay because I would love her until the day I died. I would love her enough for both of us. You’re a smart man, Leo. You’re probably the smartest man I know, but you haven’t figured this out. It isn’t about how much she loves you. It’s not about how much she can give or withhold from you. It’s about what you feel. If you had really loved her, you wouldn’t have been able to walk away not knowing her circumstances. You would have stood by her. You would have protected her even when she didn’t want your help. You would have done it because you couldn’t do anything else.” Jack sighed and patted Leo on the shoulder. “So don’t worry about it. It wasn’t love. Hopefully it’s going to be different for your brother.”
Jack Barnes walked back into the condo. Leo stared after him.
He’d made a horrible mistake.
Leo had to force himself to breathe. He’d shoved Shelley away because she hadn’t answered correctly. He’d been like a child with a toy that hadn’t worked exactly how he’d wanted it.
And he couldn’t take it back.
The French doors flew open and Wolf stood there. “Waffles are going to have to wait, brother. We have trouble.”
“Shelley?” Why hadn’t he put on his shoulder holster? He needed to carry all the fucking time now. He’d been out of the game for far too long.
“No. It’s Kitten. She’s got a package for you in your office.” Wolf’s face was a blank slate. It terrified Leo. It meant that whatever Wolf had seen had deeply affected him. So deeply he had to hide it.
“What is it?” He had the sudden urge to run to Julian’s condo and make sure Shelley was safe. He wanted to see her, hold her. “Where’s Shelley?”
Wolf held out a hand. “She’s with Dani, and apparently there are a bunch of men at this breakfast for the subs. Sam and Finn are with her. She’s fine. This isn’t about Shelley.” Wolf swallowed and took a minute as though he couldn’t figure out just how to say what he needed to say.
Leo took a step forward, unable to stand the waiting. “Goddamn it, Wolf, just tell me.”
“It’s about Ada.”
Leo felt the whole world tip, and he didn’t like where he landed.
Ada. The woman he’d cared for in Afghanistan. Ada. The woman he’d killed.
Chapter Twelve
Shelley thought about sitting down. She thought about walking around. She thought about killing Wolf Meyer.
But mostly she thought about the plug in her ass.
“First time, huh?”
Shelley turned, a little startled. She’d been trying to blend into the wallpaper. Dani’s apartment was full of lovely women and a few truly gorgeous men. They all seemed to know the others. Their easy manner with each other made Shelley realize just how long she’d been without a social network. Bryce had cut her off from her real friends, insisting that she spend time with his business acquaintances. She’d gotten used to “friendship” being an exchange of pleasantries that went no further than commenting on clothes and shoes.
She missed Beth. Her brother’s wife had been the first person she had been able to talk to in years, but she’d moved away. Now, she felt odd in a room full of women and men who seemed to be friends.