He hadn’t intended to go back, but he would for Beth. Tomorrow, after he’d met with Aidan and set everything up, he would install a new door and bright, shiny locks.
And maybe he could take her to dinner if she really didn’t care what people thought.
She shook her head. “I’m staying here.”
“That’s a bad idea. Anyone could walk in.”
“I’ll be fine. Nothing happened. It was just the wind. I’ll move one of the bookshelves in front of the door, and it will be fine.”
“I can’t leave you here alone.” He took a deep breath. Honesty was always best. “And I can’t stay with you, either. If I stay in this house, I’m going to end up in bed with you.”
Her eyes flashed to him and then back down, but not before he’d seen the interest there.
Damn. He needed to walk away. She was so naïve. So fucking innocent, but she wasn’t a girl. She was a woman. She was a woman on her own.
He should walk the fuck away.
His hand came out and lifted her chin up. “Beth, I would love to spend the night with you, but you have to understand what that means to someone like me.”
“I suspect it would mean sex.” She said it quietly, but there was a little sparkle in her eye.
He loved the way her eyes lit up. She wasn’t thinking about everything she’d lost now.
“I need to be in control. Beth, I wanted you the minute I saw you, but you should know that going to bed with me tonight would be about more than just wanting you.”
“You want the distraction.” And she wasn’t a fool. His Beth was smart.
His. Sometimes he was sure he was two utterly different people. There was the dumb-ass addict who didn’t care about anything beyond his next high, and the caveman who thought everything belonged to him. Those two sides of him fought constantly for control. He needed to make her understand.
“Every second of the day is a fight. It’s my first night on my own, and I ended up sitting in front of a bar. If you hadn’t come along, I don’t know what would have happened.”
“I do. You would have kept pushing the decision out until it was too late. You would have sat there until the bar closed.”
She had more faith in him than he did. “Why on earth would you say that?”
“Because you’re here. Because you did it. You went to rehab, and you’re sober. You fought it.”
“I fight it every day, baby. You have to understand that. This isn’t something that goes away. I’m an alcoholic and an addict, and I will be until the day I die.”
She seemed to think about that for a moment. “I think we all have our flaws. I’m way too shy.”
“It’s not the same thing. Your shyness never caused you trouble.”
“My shyness never did a thing at all. And I’m addicted to it. I can’t quite give it up. I don’t even try. So don’t say it hasn’t caused me trouble. It means I’m a twenty-five-year-old virgin who can’t stand up for herself. You had to change or you would die. If I don’t find a way to change, I’m never going to live.”
She stood there, the moonlight from the window making her skin seem translucent, and Trev knew there was no way he was going to walk away from her. He wanted her. He needed her.
And it appeared she just might need him.
“If I scare you, you have to tell me. No safe words tonight. A simple ‘no’ will stop me.”
Her eyes went wide. “Safe word? Like in Lexi’s books?”
He felt himself smile. Lexi’s BDSM romances had become quite popular in the erotic community. He could see Beth reading one. If she was curious, that was all the better for him. “Yes.”
“You really were going to spank me, weren’t you? That wasn’t about trying to teach me a lesson. You wanted to spank me.”
His cock pulsed at the thought. “Yes, darlin’. I wanted to flip that skirt up and push your panties down. I would have tangled them at your ankles so you couldn’t fight me. Your ass would have been in the air. I would have touched you, and then, oh then I would spank you. Over and over, you would have felt the slap of my hand against your flesh. Yes, Beth, I wanted it. And I was absolutely trying to teach you a lesson, just not the one you think.”
“I think you would spank me to teach me that you’re the Dom.”
“I am, Beth. Make your decision. If you want to think about this for a while, I’ll understand. You can go and pack a little bag and sleep out at Shelley’s. Tomorrow, I’ll make arrangements for some sturdier doors and better locks. And we can have dinner. Like a normal couple.”
He could do normal. He could. He could treat her like the sweet little virgin she was. He didn’t have to spank her and tie her up and teach her what it meant to take her Dom’s cock up her ass.
No. He didn’t need that at all.
“And if you stay?”
He swallowed. If he stayed, it would get serious. “I want you kneeling at my feet. I want you obedient. I want you submissive.”
Now she would be the good girl she was and let him off the hook. She would go and pack her bag, and he would take her someplace nice. His cock ached. His cock thought he was being an imbecile. He was going to sit up all night wishing he could have a beer when he could have lost himself in Beth.
Beth sank to the floor, the hardwoods creaking slightly as she fell to her knees. The yellow sundress belled around her as she allowed her hands to find her knees. She turned them over, palms up.
“Like this?”
Fuck yeah, like that. All thoughts besides the woman on the floor fled in an instant. His cock firmly took control, and the idiot who always wanted a beer in his hand went completely silent.
It was the Dom’s time.
“Very nice, love.” He let his hand find her hair. He pulled the pins that held the bun out, and her soft hair flowed out like a gorgeous sable cloud surrounding her face. “Better. You’re not to wear your hair up when I’m around. It’s beautiful, and I want to be able to touch it.”
He shoved his hand in, fingers twisting lightly, and he raised her head to face him. “And, Bethany, if you disobey again, the spanking won’t be erotic. It will be a reminder to you to mind your Dom.”
He didn’t miss the way her eyes had gone soft, and her mouth couldn’t seem to close. She was responding beautifully.
“Is this just for the night?” She asked the question with a slight frown. She seemed to be expecting an answer that wouldn’t make her happy.
And he was going to have to give her one. He felt such a deep connection to the woman at his feet. He’d never quite wanted anyone the way he wanted her. But he had to be honest. “I don’t know that I’m good for anyone in the long run, darlin’. And I don’t intend to stay here. I’m working here for a year, and then I’m leaving. I’m going out West. I’m buying into a ranch, and that’s where I’ll live.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, Trev. Are you going to disappear in the morning? It doesn’t change my answer. I still want this. I just would like to set my expectations.”
He was going to have to teach her a thing or two. And that would take more than one night in the sack. “I’ll be with you in the morning. And we’ll talk. I think we could spend some time together, if you want to.”
A Dom was worth more than just an orgasm. He could teach her how to stand up for herself. He could teach her to not need him.
He didn’t like that thought, but it might be the best gift he could give her.
Trev sat back on the creaky sofa. He was going to spend the next year here in Deer Run. He’d have to work most of the time, but the thought of spending his off time with Beth teaching her about BDSM made his heart lighter.